My girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 and half months, and I would never have guessed she was a virgin. She is such a beautiful girl on the inside and out, I mean she's gorgeous!!!!! And can have any guy she wants. She is 24 years old and wants to have sex; but every time we get close to having sex she freaks out! The last time I went down on her for the first time everything was going fine then her legs began to tremble; until she was on the brink of an orgasm, and sobbing, no, over, and over again. I immediately stopped and held her in my arms (like always when she about to have an orgasm!) I held her in my arms while she cried, and told her everything’s going to be okay. I've tried several times to get her to have an orgasm, but nothing works. She’s too afraid! I thought that maybe she was raped or something like that but she assured me that’s not the case, and that she’s never had an orgasm before, and gets a little frighten when she about to have one. I want her to be ready before we have intercourse for the first time but I a man and I need to get laid!!!! Don’t get me wrong I love her very much, and care about how she feels, but how can I help her over come her fear?
I’ve asked her more then once if anything happen to her sexually in the pass, against her own will. And it’s the same answer all the time “no”. The only thing I can come up with is that she was adopted when she was a baby into a really strict very religious family who never talks and (FROWN UPOAN) anything sexual. But (Violet) my girlfriend has nothing against sex, and we talk about it all the time.
Could it be that being raised in a in a strict family and never really talking about sex, be the reason for her problem??? Dose anyone know what it's like to be raised in a Family?? Please Share your experience
2006-11-21 08:51:39 · 21 answers · asked by campkiwago 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take her to a physician or a clinic where she can find out exactly what is happening to her body when she is about to climax. To her, it is uncomfortable and her heart is racing and she doesn't know if it will stop when she has had one or if it will only get worse. And a doctor could help. You sound like you have been patient, but understand that she has been waiting for this for 24 years and is giving it up after 91/2 months with you. Maybe she just isn't ready. Ask her how she would like to handle this. Ask her if she is sure that she wants to have sex. Make sure that she knows that you are not only doing this for you but for her too.
2006-11-21 09:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by buxomkity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was raised in a very strict religious family. I've been sexually active for about a year now and have not been able to orgasm. I think that being raised in this environment where one is taught "no sex before marriage" really gets into your head. I mean some times I get so close and I make him stop or I cant relax to the point where I can just go. Its really frustrating but I think that once she and I can get past this mental block things will be better. Just be patient and try to understand that when you are raised a certain way and that is all you know its hard to adapt to new things about your sexual frustration there are plenty of things she can do to you, like using her hand and breast to please you. good luck and I admire your patience and bravery
2006-11-21 09:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every girl is different. The best advice for anyone is not for force it. It'll come naturally. If she masturbates, then you should explore herself in what makes her feel good down there. Once she does, then the stimulation itself will soon bring her to an orgasm. During sex, guys rarely can find the right touch or go long enough to make it happen. The best advice for her is to find a position that gives her the same feeling down there as when she masturbate. I find being on top allows me to control how it feels when he's inside me. With a little experimenting she'll be able to orgasm rather easily. Hope it helps =)
2016-03-29 04:38:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her the book "Women on Top" by Nancy Friday... it may help her some...
Also... an orgasm for women was considered, many years ago, to be taboo for women... It is culturally unacceptable still in parts of the world [hence the barbaric female circumcision].. Furthermore a female orgasm was considered to be a near-death experience...
Many of these fears and phobias have subconsciously been passed from one generation to another.. God only knows how sexually liberated her family were/are... it could all have a bearing on her views... Make it easy for her.. don't pressurise and let her see you orgasm and the pleasure it gives you and the love it makes you feel..
Good luck
2006-11-21 09:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by jonti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a fear in her mind that she needs to break through, sit and have a chat and a drink, if things start to get to the point of a coming together, ask her if she is sure, tell her you care about her....try to ease her mind by introducing an analogy, one you could try is likening it to taking her driving test, we all worry about it and some more than others, yet once we have braved it through and passed we look back and wonder why it took us so long, then set about enjoying ourselves...do me a favour..if this works get back to me..don't want the details but it would be nice to know i have helped..AGAIN.! Oh and keep the atmosphere light...she will love it eventually...
2006-11-21 09:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by Bluefurball 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She just probably is affraid to have an orgasim because she is affraid to have an orgasim. Maybe she was sexually abused but won't tell you, some victims are like that. i know someone and she is affraid to trust guys because of a bad past experience. Just assure her that it will be okay, tell her that it is normal and very, very pleasuring. let violet know that you love her no matter what.
2006-11-21 08:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by Tili L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many girls are frightened of peeing when they approach orgasm and indeed some actually do. They can find this hard to mention. You could try, sensitively, to ask her if this is the case - you've heard that ....
2006-11-21 09:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by Ian69 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
According to what I've just read I would ask her if she 's been told that sexuality and in particular orgasm is associated with evil...
2006-11-21 09:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by ki si frott 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
some girls are just worried about losing control, you just need to make her feel totally comfortable, don't broah the issue, just give her good sex and eventually she will enjoy herself.
the presuure will make her feel WORSE
2006-11-21 08:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Helen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You lucky dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just go slow and don't rush her. One day she'll work up the nerve to "let go". I once dated a girl who was embarrased to let go, lose control, and c*m!!!! It took awhile, but one day she just let out this ear piercing scream and the rest was history. I used to call her "triple play". Twice at night, and once, as soon as we woke up the next morning!!
Mr Happy
:o)
Mr Happy
:o)
2006-11-21 08:57:12 · answer #10 · answered by hagtagg 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋