I just turned 20 yrs and am in college my parents pay my tuition and books. I have been married for almost a year and its not working out we only dated 5 months and got married the next month. I dont think we got to now each other well enough before that.He is turning 25 and the age gap is causing problems because he wants kids now (literally) and expects me to be a stay at home mom!I have not even finished college , want a career first, and to travel.I have talked to my husband to death but he wont comprimise.I told my parents i am coming home early and packed some of my stuff how do i tell them whats going on?
2006-11-21 08:13:54 · 22 answers · asked by Carla M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Also admit that they were correct in telling me i was too young for marriage and humbly ask to live at home again?
2006-11-21 08:15:11 · update #1
I dont feel like i am myself when i am with my husband and we are most likely going to divorce.
2006-11-21 08:30:29 · update #2
I really feel for you! You're in a tough situation.
Just come out and say it "your were right". If they love you, they'll understand.
2006-11-21 08:18:47 · answer #1 · answered by Falina T. Rayon 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Any parents that are paying tuition and books for a twenty year old married daughter are going agree with you that ending this now, esp. before children, is best for you. It doesn't sound like you think they are not going to let you come home, it sounds like you want to know how to tell them.
I would suggest a phone call with them before you go, like tonight. There are things that you will need to consider to protect your assets before you leave them behind for a 'visit'. Your parents would be best to advise you. i am not saying that your husband is or isn't the type, but this moment of leaving is, realistically, one of the most dangerous moments in your life, and it might be safer and smoother if Dad came to get you. Young men can go over an emotional deep end at a marriage breakup. He may try very hard to talk you out of something, but will have a much harder time of talking Dad out of anything. If he won't compromise with you now, how well do you think he is going to compromise when you leave.
I don't understand a young man that would not want a wfe to finish a college carreer that he didn't have to pay for. It doesn't make sense. You were in college when he met you, he should have expected you to finish. If this is the life style he wanted when he married, why did he marry someone who wasn't looking for that lifestyle.
This has big warning red flags all over it, and I would hate to see you not wanting to go home becase he slapped you around enough to keep you from wanting to show your face to the relatives. Let everyone an oppurtunity to do the right thing and call your parents now. Not to just avoid the kind of holiday suprise that should be left to bad movies, but to also protect you AND your husband from an emotional situation that could have lasting consequenses.
Sorry about the spelling, i couldn't get spell check to work.
.
2006-11-21 08:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by PJ H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand sweetie. I got married at age 24 after dating him for just under a year. It was too hasty and when you get married you learn new things about your partner and all problems intensify.
We all make mistakes and the point is that you learn from then.
I don't think anyone will say "I told you so" I don't know your family but it would be tough if they said that. They might be relieved?
You are making the right choice. You need to travel and live and develop a career before you settle down and have children. I'm sorry your hubby doesn't agree.
Maybe tell your parents that you are having a break from one another so you can decide what you really want.
Hopefully they will be supportive of you trying to make a sensible decision about your life and take control of its direction.
Good luck to you.
2006-11-21 09:11:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about starting off with asking? It's a pretty big assumption that they'll take you back, you're of an age where you can make your own choices legally and emotionally, and I'll bet you told them that when you got married so quickly! Life isn't easy, and neither is marriage.
I would suggest that when you VISIT, you tell them what's going on without whining about how tough your life is, ask them for advice. Tell them a few of your OPTIONS, because surely going home isn't the only one.
You saw you want a career and to travel, why not do that now? Why do expect your parents to support you while you have fun?
2006-11-21 08:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should give your parents a clue that you are coming home and you will explain it when you get there. You will have your parents support, so don't be panicky about it. Parents love their children and had rather them come home than to have a shaky relationship. I am a Mom and both my children have come home at different time and believe me, I will always be there for them and so will your parents. You're very smart to finish college before starting a family. The very best of luck to you.....
2006-11-24 16:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Dyan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell em your having a fall right now, anyways my sister waited about 3 years before marriage and never had problems for the 5 years of marriage (or more) meanwhile my brother's stuck with a crazy lady that has his baby because he couldn't wait
2006-11-21 08:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by Someone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally, i would just tell them. "our marriage is not working out. you were right, i was too young and we should have gotten to know eachother better. i really wanna come back and live with you guys until i finish college if thats ok. (unless u want to stay longer) and then wait for an answer. try to act like an adult when you confront them. and i wouldnt leave out the part about them being right because its more mature of you to realize you were wrong and to accept that. GOOD LUCK!!! =)
2006-11-21 08:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
your parents love you no matter who you are married to. acknowledging that they were correct will help in the process of returning home. i was in almost the same position but in am the guy. i was with this girl for almost four years, wasn't married, but living together and planning on it. she was 5 years my younger and we loved each other. we just wanted different things. what you want and whats important when your 20 and whats important when your 25 are two very different things but wounds heal even on the heart
2006-11-21 08:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by sid8084 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them what is going on, they'll understand and mabey you guys can come up with an answer for the problem. And maybe, just maybe, if you decide to have kids, you could ask your parents to babysit the kids while your in school.
2006-11-21 08:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by smplytffny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be upfront, tell them things are not working out, and tell them that they were right. Explain all the reasons why you are unhappy with your marriage. Your parents love you and essentially want whats best for you. I'm sure they will be understanding.
2006-11-21 08:23:25 · answer #10 · answered by missyhardt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want a career, but it would be nice to be a stay at home mom. I think you really should try to stay married and work things out. It doesn't sound to me like it's so bad that you can't. Marriage is for the young at heart and not easy by no means! He must really love you to want you to raise his kids! I would think twice before you walk!
2006-11-21 08:25:12 · answer #11 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋