she threw me out for a good reason, and im really sorry for it, i know i have never been the best of daughters, and i could be so mean to her. but i want to know i am sorry and i want my mum back, please help what should i do?
2006-11-21 07:47:58 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honey, it's the holiday times, make it up to her. My daughter moved out on me in July, and I would love it if she would make it up to me. I feel for both of you, good luck and God bless you and your Mum!
2006-11-21 07:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by Yahoo Answerer 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you go and see her why don't you send her a card which says I'm sorry on it and ask if it would be okay if you come to see her. If she agree then go with a bunch of flowers and tell her that you are really sorry and that you know that you haven't been the best daughter that you could be and you hope that she would be able to find it in her heart to forgive you.
If you can try and explain to her why you were mean and what you will / are going to do to rectify the problem. Also don't say that you would like it if you moved back in, that will come in time, but just tell her that you are sorry and you didn't mean to do the things that you did or say the things that you said.
2006-11-21 08:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is my guess that you are old enough to have been thrown out, which means that you are at least in the mid-late teen age bracket. The important thing for your mum (and you) to understand is that your behaviour is age-related; teenagers suffer changes in their brain chemistry that affects their attitude and behaviour. It is all part of growing up. Check out the first source link below.
The next thing is that you both realise that even the "authorities" are unsure about what to do about childhood depression and teen behaviour. There is a BIG DEBATE on HOW BEST TO BRING UP KIDS in the 21st century.
It is not all about upbringing, poverty or bad schooling either. Check out the second source link below.
OK. So we can discount and disregard the tired old blame scenarios, but just in case there are accusations here that I am suggesting that no-one is to blame, au contraire; I think that you and your mum have problems.
It seems that you have been thrown out by her and you know why. As there is no mention of parents (plural), I guess that your mum is a single parent -- and she could not parent you.
You state that she had good reason -- that you fully understand what she did and why she did it. She gave you an ultimatum and you called her bluff -- you accept that it is your fault, that YOU ARE TO BLAME. You want your mum back, and you feel regret and want to repent.
The thing is that your mum has a part to play -- she was unable to manage you, unable to control you. She lost her authority over you. She set the ultimatum, so she is PARTLY to BLAME for what happened.
You ask what should you do, but the answer will not be what you want to know just now. You're feeling sorry, perhaps sorry for yourself, perhaps its the time of year that is doing it. Who knows.
It doesn't matter; the fact is that you BOTH NEED SOME TIME away from the situation. It's like a "rebound" in romance relationships -- the baggage is merely transferred.
If you say sorry to your mum and she lets you come home, then it will not be very long before the situation repeats itself -- and it is more likely to be worse each time you get thrown out and allowed back.
You need to realise that a period of time has to pass so that short term memory and grievances can be forgotten, leaving only the pure filtered big matters to be dealt with.
You need time to appreciate your mum, time to understand that it is NOT A TWO WAY STREET (she can be mum to several, but you only have one mum -- so the onus will always be for you to make the effort to keep in touch, to back down, to be the foist to apologise). You need time to grow up.
Your mum needs time away from you to allow the parental frustration to fade and for the natural maternal instincts to flood back. She needs to realise that you are not a baby any longer, that you can be away from her -- this will show her that you are free, an adult and that she needs to change how she relates to you.
Suffer the festive season apart and estranged. Suffer as a penance, pay your dues, take the consequences; you will be better and stronger for it, and you will both find a fresh new relationship when you get back together to sort things out.
This is IMPORTANT; this is the new basis for your adult relationship with your mum -- as a friend, not a mum any longer.
You will both suffer for a couple of months (or years -- whatever it takes for your teen brain to sort itself out), but it will be the makings of your future.
All the best!
2006-11-21 11:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by sensei 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did your mum through you out? Have you done anything to change the situation or remedy it. If not it is very unlikely she will take you back. She is taking a very hard line with you, and there must be a reason for it. And any way, why would you want to get her back, you obviously didn't like her very much in the first place. Sometimes we just have to learn the hard way. think carefully before you mess with her again, your mum is a person too you know.
2006-11-21 08:19:43 · answer #4 · answered by helloha06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, Write you mother a letter of apology, be sure that you ask nothing from her. Write it in away that you take full responbility for your part in the situation.State in this letter your action your words that were said that lead to you dissmissal from your home. This is all about responibility, not easy to do, but it has the possibility to heal , that which has been harmed.. I am not saying that this will get your mother back, what I am saying it can open a door that she may be willing to let you walk threw. You sound as those you are willing to take responsibility, so go for it. Also write it in your own hand writing, do not type it on the computer. Purchased a beauitful greeting card that expresses how you feel about your mother, sign it, include your letter of apology. Do not expect anything in return. Just be proud of yourself that you took the time and effort to express your feelings, and the rest is up to your mother. My intent in telling you this is to try to get intouch with your mothers HEART. She has one as you do and I do and everyone has one. We get ourselves in to complications by not coming from a place of love, which is the Heart, So if your truly love your mother, and your are truly sorry for your actions, write the letter. Don't forget to include your self amoungst those that you love. Bless you and your mother. I wish you the best that life has to offer. Bye
2006-11-21 08:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by bonnie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her is some good honest advice. Try to ask her for forgiveness. And be extra nice to her if she does forgive you. If that doesn't work try to give her a gift as a peace offering. Flowers and Chocolate work really well. Also be sure to tell her how sorry you are and tell her how much you loveher. it may take some time but remember time is the best medicine. Let the wounds heal and she will take you back hopefully. Good Luck!
2006-11-21 07:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by coolkidd2379 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize and talk to her. Maybe she was teaching you a really good lesson. I know that parents can be taxing and cold but I think that she still loves you. You have to turn yourself around and prove to her that your love is above everything. I wish you the best of luck with all that you do and I know you can do it. Go ahead and call her. If it doesn't work, call another adult to help her understand. Never give up. Your Mum can be your best friend if you try. Best Wishes!
2006-11-21 07:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter telling her how sorry you are and how much you miss her too, ask her in the letter if it would be possible for you both to meet somewhere convenient to both of you, on neutral ground, hopefully she will agree and when you meet tell her again how very sorry you are and ask her if she will forgive you, I am sure your mom misses you very much too, don't just leave it up in the air, try to get it sorted out asap, moms are very forgiving and daughters are always missed by them, hope it works out for you both, good luck.
2006-11-21 22:20:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can just imagine how u must be feeling and it`s hard to know really wot to say to u. i read an answer where someone said write to her. well that sounds like a good idea to me. take ur time and word it correctly and tell ur mum how u feel and how sorry u are and tell her how u need her. tell her u want to see her. one thing i will say is she`s ur mum and she loves u, it`s just she is possibly pretty angry wiv u and she might need time to calm down so don`t expect miracles straight away but i`m very sure she`ll eventually calm down to u. i really wish u the best of luck
2006-11-21 20:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by graham f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well really you just did what you wanted. All of us can be harsh to our parents - mine are gone - but we must try and live with them. Scream and yell when you leave the house or go and kick a tree. But when you talk to her be calm and talk with her in a decent manner and maybe that will help. After all she is your mom and really she does love you. An you know what ? You seem to love her also.
Simply tell her what you did in your question - teller her that you love her - but that you also need her understanding - try and work out your differences - and maybe it will be alright after all. Some day your mom will not be around to worry about her little girl and guess who will be lonely then.
2006-11-21 07:59:07 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sweety pie, she must've got fed up with you to throw you out...were you really horrible to her? She must've been at the end of her tether. I bet she regretted it the moment you left, and I bet she's wondering right now what you're doing.
So, you calmly and quietly say you're sorry, and mean it. Then you tell her that you love her, no mum can resist that. In fact, tell her what you've told us. you have to convince her that things will be different if she lets you back.
What you must resign yourself to doing is keeping to her rules, and not winding her up, or arguing with her, no matter how much you feel like it. Let her rant at you, if necessary; just listen. She probably just needs to let off steam. That's the penalty for going back home.
So, ring her up right now, and tell her you're sorry.
Good luck xxxxxx
2006-11-21 07:59:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋