My son fell asleep in the car and he woke in the morning with his neck hurting him. He went to school but went to the nurse who put ice on it and he started feeling better. Well, he goes back to class and this kid decides to play chiropractor with him, grabs his head and twisted it making my sons neck hurt even more then before the nurse put ice on it.
It turns out that a teacher saw this and didn't report it to the dean, the nurse knew what happened and didn't report it to the dean. The next day I called the school and let the dean know what happened. Well you can guess that the teacher denied seeing it happen. The kid got one day detention, a fair punishment I know. But why do I feel guilty now? Why do I feel bad that this kid got punished? If it was my son twisting some kids head he would have been punished, but good. So what is with these guilty feelings I now have?
2006-11-21 07:42:25 · 15 answers · asked by FaerieWhings 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would agree with the angry thing, but it was 2 days after the fact that I called the dean, so I knew my head was in a rational place. I just really feel that at 11 years old kids should know better. I would have been fine with the dean speaking with the child, calling the mother and a letter of apology to my son.
2006-11-21 08:01:01 · update #1
There is a bit of truth in everyones answers. It's going to be a tough decision for best answer.
2006-11-21 08:48:27 · update #2
you just don't like to cause problems. but you did the right thing. don't worry about it.
2006-11-21 07:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I have to say is, make sure you son understands that it is not okay for him to pants someone, especially not a girl. At 11 years old, he's getting to an age where pulling off a girl's clothes can lead to problems more serious than most kids can imagine. No matter what someone does, that is never an acceptable reaction. With that said, it sounds like you and the other parents did everything right. You made the school officials aware of the problem. You had meetings, discussed it with each other and agreed that nothing like that would ever happen again. As far as the other mother's statements about pressing charges and taking her daughter out of school, it sounds like that is something the principal told you. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but from what I read it seems that the mother never said this to you, this is info the principal relayed to you. If that sounds inconsistant with what the other mother told you, maybe the principal misunderstood, or maybe she said all of this before before talking to you. If you feel that the two of you can still talk things out calmly, maybe you can contact her and ask her directly if that is what she plans to do. If you're not interested in talking to her now, I don't think you should stress it. You can just make preparations in case she does decide to sue. Consider a lawyer and a countersuit, but I don't think you need to hire one just yet, since it might not even get that far. In the meantime, focus on your kids and make sure their school is a safe and respectful place where no one feels threatened. Make sure your son and daughter (and any other kids you might have) know that they can come to you if they have any more problems, and they know which teachers or administrators to go to immediately if anything like that happens at school again. And keep in touch with the coaches and principals and other parents to make sure incidents like that don't start up again.
2016-05-22 08:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were probably more angry at the teacher and the school nurse when you phoned the dean, but the kid ended up getting into trouble. Don't feel bad, I'm sure the other kid has probably already forgotten about his detention by now. Kids hurt each other all the time, I'm sure the kid didn't do it on purpose.
2006-11-21 13:56:18 · answer #3 · answered by tangyterp83 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not feel bad at all, in fact I would worry more if you did nothing at all. That is your son and you are his mother that is supposed to protect him and so what you did was what most mothers would do. Especially if it was involving your child's neck!! Since he had already had a neck pain that day, that kid could have really injured your son if he had just twisted it the right way! That kid needed to know that what he did could have really hurt someone, and maybe now he won't do it again. Maybe if you had done nothing, then he possibly could have done it again to someone else's child, but maybe this time he could really harm the child. Feel glad instead of guilty; glad that you care and that you are being a good mother to your child.
2006-11-21 07:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably have guilt because at the time you were reacting out of anger, and not just concern. Being angry at stupid people who dont do their jobs correctly and there for risk the well being of children is something everyone feels.
Dealing with it while in that anger can make you feel guilty.
Concern, passion, wanting to protect your child, all these things are excellent motivation.
Racting in anger, which tends to create hate or resentment towards people, is never a good idea. It doesnt feel good the next day.
Just forgive yourself, forgive them for being stupid people, and be thankful that the issue wasnt worse than it was, and that it was in the end, dealt with.
There are some things in life that no one forsees, and no one intends or expects to happen. One elementary student wrentching the neck of another, is one of those things. Children are distructive, to themselves and others.... parents of all people realize this. Getting them to survive this stage in one piece is part intuition, part blessing, and part good education of the child.
You'll be fine. So will your son. lol.
Kids!
2006-11-21 07:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question shouldn't be why do you feel guilty about the other kid but why aren't you pissed about the teacher lying? The teacher should know better and plus she is teaching your son, what is she teaching him to Lie? Maybe you feel guilty because you had to do the dirty work which should have been handled by the teacher and the nurse.
2006-11-21 08:33:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a Mom you did the right thing. I do understand the guilt though. You could be feeling guilt on behalf of the child's parents. You would feel horrible if your child had done the same, maybe your anticpating the other mother's feelings.
I would be more upset by the lack of action on the staffs part. Thank goodness that your son wasn't seriously injured.
2006-11-21 08:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing! Maybe the other kid won't play like that anymore, the head is "precious" <
And besides, its just detention, and not 1 day in jail. LOL!
2006-11-21 07:52:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you feel guilty becuse you know the kid was just trying to help. you were really mad at the teacher, nurse, and dean. but the kid got the blunt end. oh well, not much you can do now...
2006-11-21 07:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you feel guilty. That kid definately needed to learn that twisting someone's neck is NOT ok.
Think of it this way: you could possibly have saved another kid from a serious neck injury.
2006-11-21 07:47:40 · answer #10 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My Kindergarten child is not even allowed to touch another child while playing tag on the school ground. I don't think you overreacted.
2006-11-21 14:21:25 · answer #11 · answered by Metnobal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋