A good friend of mine has this other friend (who I don't know), she is seriously mentally ill (hearing voices, violent, deceptive, not eating at all, physically & mentally in a really terrible state). But she won't admit anything is wrong with her. Her erratic behaviour, lying, deception, violence, severe mood changes etc etc are putting a massive strain on my friend who is nearly at breaking point. He can't sleep & is really screwed up over this. He asks me for advice but I don't know what to tell him. He hates this girl for her manipulativeness, she tries deliberately to hurt him, make him jealous, etc, pushes him away and begs him to come back, threatens suicide, makes up stories about trying to kill herself, sometimes tries if for real, tells him it is his fault etc But he is in love with her at the same time and can't just walk away. I hate seeing him like this. How can I help him? Any advice very much appreciated.
2006-11-21 07:18:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Markpoo, 007, please don't joke about this, you have no idea how much of an effect this situation is having on the people involved and those around them.
2006-11-21 07:34:20 · update #1
Yes, she needs to get to a hospital ASAP because she needs serious help. he can even call the police and say she is threatening suicide - and they can help get her to a facility that can help her.
In the meantime, he can't be made to feel guilty... his actions are NOT causing her to behave this way, and I am sure he is not a bad friend. A session or two with a therapist for HIM might help him better understand how to deal with her and NOT ENABLE HER BEHAVIOR, and a local support group for people with mental disorders might also help him learn how to relate to her.
She is sick. She needs medical care and she needs it now.
2006-11-21 08:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone threatens suicide, you can't give yourself time to wonder whether the person is sincere or putting on a performance. Her parents or other people in a position to take immediate action need to be notified that this is going on. She may need psychiatric help. Whether drama or mental illness, she needs help - immediately! A trip to the emergency room is in order when the "S" word comes out. Your friend needs to focus on being a friend and quit worrying about how this affects him.
2006-11-21 07:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to take her to a local emergency room or mental health center the next time she threatens to hurt herself and have a psych evaluation done on her. That way it can be determined if she is truly a danger to herself and if she does have mental issues they will be able to help her and get her medications if that will help. If she refuses to do this, your friend needs to just walk away. There is nothing he can do to help her if she refuses to help herself. He cannot make a mentally ill person better and only risks his own safety by staying with her.
2006-11-21 07:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by Heather P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly it is not your friends fault, he is doing the right thing by being there for her and wanting to help her. He should take her to see a doctor and tell them everything that has been happening so that maybe she can be reffered to a mental health specialist. If she is under 18 maybe he should tallk to her parents or a sibling. You can also help by supporting your friend. I dont know if she will be able to help herself or seek proffesional advice untill she can see that anything is wrong and come to terms with it.
2006-11-21 07:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to call the county mental facility immediately and remove himself from the situation. He can't fix a person who is seriously mentally ill because he's not a doctor. If he's in love with her, he will stop enabling her behavior and get her professional help, possibly committed to a mental hospital. I also think he needs to get therapy to find out why he tolerated this.
2006-11-21 07:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend must seek counselling It is best if he could report to the local police for the behaviour of this girl and send a lawyer letter to her just in case she turns up nasty towards your friend. It will cover further damage. In case if she harms herself or make any false accusation there will be some witness to support your friend. Make him to go to yoga and meditation to relax his mind. Even going to gym for half an hour will help. Swimming also help stress. make him to eat lots of fruits and healthy food. make him to talk rather than listening. mixing with right kind of friends is important. Slowly he will get better. If you really care for your friend I am sure you can make it happen. He will appreciate you later. Good Luck.
2006-11-21 11:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by shiningstar2808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no doubt that your friend's girlfriend desperately needs help urgently, but where from? I don't know where you live but when i knew my daughter was sinking into a nervous breakdown, I asked my doctor for help but was told that mental health is very low funded in the UK and there was nothing available. She eventually turned to alcohol and nearly died through alcoholism. I don't know how to help, I truly wish I did, but I just wanted to wish you and your friends all the best. I hope he finds the help he needs but at least he's got a very good friend in you.
2006-11-21 08:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to tell your friend this: she's ill she doesnt mean it , its not her fault OR HIS. Convince your friend to contact a parent/gardiene of this girl and tell her/him whats going on. If she doesnt belive you take some evidence (record her saying something) and go back to the relative and show her/him. Your friend musnt get too dragged into this, if he really loves this girl he'll know that its best for her to have councelling, councelling will work and is the most effective way to get her to realise her problem and change it, councelling will get her to open up. If this isnt possible try to meet this girl youself or try to get your friend to ask this girl whats going on? whats making her like this? Theres got to be a reason
I really hope this helps and if it doesnt talk to F.R.A.N.K (if you want to do it in private call in a telephone box)
hOPE THIS HELPS
good luck
xxx
2006-11-21 07:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by Radio_head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there, kiddo. The 'knock-on' effect is hurting all three of you, and, who knows? Other's problems don't need to be our own. It sounds as though 'the friend' has problems that are above and beyond you and your friend's capabilities but you can be there for them! Try not to involve yourself, emotionly and encourage your friend to do the same. I know love can be blind but there's no point in you all suffering from one persons problems. take care. X
2006-11-21 07:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Tony 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without actually knowing the situation, but by reading what you have said .. I would say this person seems to have a drug related problem ... my suggestion to your friend is to walk away ... because unless she changes herself, there is no chance he can change her!! How can you be in love with someone who lies and is violent. Get her certified help and WALK AWAY!!
2006-11-21 07:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by lynne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋