Does confessing your sins to your hamster count?

Question

I commit sodomy on a daily basis and tend to steal clothing from donation boxes at walmart.
I relay my sins to my hamster..does it count?

Answer 1

Only if your hamster is fully ordained

Answer 2

Confession is good for the soul, no matter to whom you confess. The fact that you choose a rodent shows that you have discernment and taste. Hamsters have long been known as kind and gentle creatures who simply clean up the temple and listen while other creatures unburden their tortured souls. Hamsters listen, and listen well.

Few know that hamsters are also crimefighters and an immense force for good in this world. Hamster-fu is practiced only by the most advanced student. Quiet and deadly, these furry fists of fury right wrongs and put back those clothes you have taken.

The so-called Siberian Dwarf Hamsters (actually Pouched Tuvans) are perhaps the deadliest of the rodentia family. Fortunately for us, their spiritual evolution is on a plane vastly superior to any we humans can match. Treat Pouched Tuvan Masters very carefully, Weedwacker!

So, go ahead and keep confessing but make sure you are doing your hamster right.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Make more sense than talking to an imaginary friend in the sky.

Answer 4

Sorry sweetie...it doesn't count.

We are to confess directly to Jesus and ask for forgiveness. However, if you are not sincere...He will know your heart and deal with you accordingly.

Answer 5

just as much a confessing them to a priest.

Answer 6

If you name your hamster jesus.

Answer 7

does your hamster sodomize little boys...? then yes, it counts

Answer 8

nope