been in relationship couple of months,found out he is using crack-what do I do? Deep feelings involved.?

Question

I met an incredible man a few months ago, very caring,loving,handsome and understanding. I recently found out that he is addicted to crack cocaine. I have deep feelings for him although it's only been a few months. He refuses to go to a rehab-he says they don't work. I think he just is in denial. I thought we would one day get married-I guess I was wrong. I want to help him, but he doesn't want help! I just can't commit him to rehab. I can't risk my children being around crack. But here's the hardest part-I found out yesterday that I am pregnant by this man. Will my baby be addicted? I'm really confused........please help????

Answer 1

Providing you are not using your unborn child will not be born an addict. Proven fact that fetal alcohol syndrome and drugs are not carried by dad and only by mom. Unfair as it may seem it is the way it is. If your man is not ready for rehab then you'd probably be best to let him be alone as you most certainly must know that crack heads will end up stealing from loved ones, try conning not only themselves but others also, and that these substances are the first loves of their lives. Please do not subject your young child or unborn child to this lifestyle and do yourself a favor and stay away from this person until he is honestly ready and willing to accept help in overcoming his substance use/abuse problem.

Answer 2

First of all I have been through this. If he is addicted you should leave him now. I know it will hurt but if you stay it will be worse. My son was conceived while my hubby was on heroin and crack and he has adhd really bad and they say it is due to his drug use. My hubby got better but not for a couple of years and I don't wish that on anyone the drug use or loving someone with the problem it is awful. Seriously he can sell everything to get his crack. He will only get better if he wants not if you make him. Leave now and don't turn back. Crack is evil my hubby went from 200lbs to a skinny 120 it is the devil. He is recovered for 9 yrs now but all on his own. I tried like 6 times but he never did it until he finally got fed up// Good luck you will need it.

Answer 3

First of all, unless you've been using crack too, your baby will not be born addicted. I suppose there could be some sort of chromosomal damage from the father's drug use, you might talk to the doctor about that. Second - how can you be in love with someone you've just discovered has been lying to you all along, and who has told you that he doesn't want to get help?? For your children's sake if not for your own, walk away now and don't look back.

Answer 4

The only way the baby will be addicted is if you smoke the crack, or are always in the room with him while he is cooking it up or smoking it. It can not be addicted from the fathers sperm..

Anyway, you need to let him go. Is it worth risking losing your kids to the state or your freedom to the law..remember, even if you do not smoke it..you can be charged and prosecuted for allowing drug abuse and a list of other charges..
If he is in denial and will not get help and give it up for you ..he does not love you..he loves his fix and his high..

I have had many friends go through the cycles of crack addiction ( back in the early 90s) and to this day their lives are continually on a endless spiral of destruction and chaos..

Do yourself a favor and let him know immediatly, its you or the drug..and be prepared for him not to choose you...

Save yourself now before it is too late, trust me..

Answer 5

No, the baby will not be addicted to crack.

Give that baby up for adoption, if you can. However, I strongly urge you to do that. You don't need a crack addict around you or any of your children. By having and keeping this baby, you are giving the crack addict an excuse to be hanging around.

Does he know that you are pregnant with his child? Don't let him know. Break up with him. Period.

As a future reference, try to use birth control, and wait longer than a few months before you start barebacking with someone.

Answer 6

Why didn't you use birth control and condoms? pregnancy isn't the only issue, there are diseases also. I don't think the baby will be born addicted but may have a chance at deformities, disabilities down the line. If he does not want help you can't change that. Drug addicts will lie, cheat, steal, etc. without thinking twice of the consequences or who they hurt. You need to be away from him and his drugs. How far along is the pregnancy?

Answer 7

I really couldn't read anything past been in a relationship a couple of months and found out he is using crack. From experience, you can't help someone until he or she wants help. If you aren't careful they will bring you down right along with themselves, and please please know that whatever you feel for this guy......the crack will make him incapable of ever being able to return even 1/4 of what you feel for him.

My ADVICE is to GET AWAY FAR FAR AWAY!!! You will only be hurt more by a situation like this. A little pain now....alot more pain later.

Answer 8

I have a lot of experience with thiis. First of all my mom was/is addicted to crack. It ruined my whole family and her whole life. She got my little brother taken away from her and he was then adopted and she couldnt see him at all. She pretty much ruined her whole life. Pretty much I cannot begin to even tell you the long terrible struggle it has brought her and me and my family. Now my childrens dad is on coke. It is doing the same to him. It is something that unfortuantely you have NO controll over. Only he does and it is VERY hard to quit, even if he wants to. I am sorry for you but I can predict a long life of hell for you and your child and the one you will have. Good luck

Answer 9

If he doesn't want help then there is nothing you can do. Just get out before he takes you down with him. As for your baby I don't think it will be addicted but there could be other mental/physical problems if he has been using for a long time. I wish you luck and hope things work out for you.

Answer 10

I’m not 100 percent sure but I don’t think the baby would be addicted to crack unless You use it. But you may still want to check with a doctor.

You can’t help him unless he wants help, does he know you are pregnant? If he doesn’t care to think about trying to get help after knowing that you need to rethink having him in your children’s lives.