Me and my partner have been 2gether 4 nearly a year. Wev been having a few problems he is a good ten years older than me. I think i am a good girlfriend Iv accepted and bonded with his 2 boys and helped and supported him whenever I can. Last week I was feeling useless because Iv not long lost my viginity and 2 afraid 2 try again so I feel as though Im lettin him down. However last night I found a few facts out frm him himself as he tried 2 show how much he loves me by being honest. He is bankrupt, lost his drivers licence through drink driving and Iv jus been told that he has a baby daughter somewhere that he never sees. Im lost and confused. I love him more than anything else in the world. But I come frm a family of solicitors, listen 2 classical music and generally a totally different background. He is 10 years older, works all day and drinks all night. The last few months wev started doing a lot of different things together not including alcohol!Can he change?will my familyaccept us
2006-11-21 06:05:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
to be honest i know you say u love him think DO U REALY WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY , i say your too young for all this **** BUT sometimes love is all you need so its up tpo u my opinion is your young live it dont be tied down be what and who you wanna be b4 its too late and you regrete it but thats opinion take it or leave it its youer life your choice##
2006-11-21 06:11:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it's great that you've stuck by him this far, you're obviously a very strong person. I'll get a lot of thumbs-downs for this but, seriously, ignore the people who tell you to get out. Congratulations.
How old are you? I don't think 10 years is a bad age gap, but if you're too young it can affect you negatively. Also try to stop him from drinking. You seem very mature so I think you should try to establish a relationship with his daughter and family.
Good luck!
2006-11-21 06:15:19 · answer #2 · answered by Hannah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this Hayley, but it sounds like you have latched onto a guy who makes very bad choices and will take you down with him. At his age, he is making decisions that will affect him for a long time to come. You need to ask yourself if you will be better or worse off in 5 years if you stay with him. Kinda sounds like you already know what to do, but just in case you don't, I will give you some Dutch Uncle advice. Move on. Be by yourself awhile (6 months +) and get your life on track, go back to school if you aren't currently in school and get established as a single woman. At that point, you will be better equipped to handle pretty much anything life hands you, and then you can join with some lucky guy in a relationship. Just never forget that you are able to take care of yourself if need be.
2006-11-21 06:13:29 · answer #3 · answered by Rich B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your asking can you change him, then no. We all at some time in our lives seek something completely different from what we know. Or even try to recuse someone. You may succeed, but it's a life time of energy into keeping him on the straight and narrow. Drinking alcohol is a way of running from feelings. Maybe he needs some therapy as opposed to a mother?
2006-11-21 06:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by sammyantha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People CAN change, but the real question is 'Can I accept him as he is?'
Stick to the alcohol-free lifestyle.
As for the different backgrounds why not try to introduce him (gradually) to some of your interests.
Listen together to some (light) classical music
Simply going out for a walk together can often do wonders
If you want a piece of 'classical' advice, remember, "Alle Menschen werden Bruder"
2006-11-21 06:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, ask him to get his drinking problem sorted out! Give him 6months to sort his drinking out! Im concerned about the bankruptcy to! How is he at handling his finances now? If he squanders money, it doesnt bode well for your future. He is drinking for a reason and I think its a shame you have so many difficulties at 19yrs old! Like I said though, give him the chance to change his ways, then if he doesnt, leave and be single and enjoy your life as at your age you deserve to be in a healthy relationship!
2006-11-21 07:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by enigma64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can change but he has to want to himself! Give him an ultimation. Tell him hes got to change for the better or your leaving. Stick to your word as well or you'll be trapped in a dead end relationship foyears to come.Sex isn't everything either, he should respect your wishes.
2006-11-21 06:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by Gem Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-22 12:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he obviously loves you otherweise he wouldnt have come clean. it doesnt matter what background your from aslong as you love each other and makes u happy . as long as he stops drinkin so much i think hell be able to change and sort his money problems out !!good luck!!
2006-11-21 06:37:38 · answer #9 · answered by adele_amy06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you cut it to the bone do you you love him?if yes then dont expect change or for your family to accept him it wont happen.If you can live with his behaviour then stay if not leave.Its a case of put up or shut up........sorry if thats harsh......good luck xx
2006-11-21 06:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋