My husband left on Sturday night and stayed at his dad's he didn't come home till sunday at 10.30 ish pm.
I have bipolar and I had a bad episode (which I am still not over) that is why he left. I am English living in the U.S but i don't have any friends yet. I cannot drive either. I am home all day and look forward to my husband coming home. I try hard to take care of his needs every day by making his breakfast and lunch and then his dinner for him to come home to. I do all the housework etc and just try to care for him.
I feel very alone and isolated and my husband is being very mean. I am not on meds yet. I know I will be better when I am but I feel so upset with my husband for his treatment towards me when I need him the most. Can anyone help. Kind answers only please I cannot cope with more meanness right now.
2006-11-21 05:59:15 · 19 answers · asked by JAM 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
My question is what do you think, what can I do. What is your take on all of this? What experiences do you have that you can draw on to help me?
I am worried because I love my husband and this feels like serious trouble.
2006-11-21 06:04:02 · update #1
Not on meds yet because I do not see doc to get put on them till dec 1st. we are low income so go through a clinic. The system is a bit slower.
2006-11-21 06:05:44 · update #2
I'm glad you are aware of your need for meds, and it's a shame it can't happen before December 1. I don't like hearing about how your husband is behaving, but it's possible that because of your condition, you are feeling it more harshly than it really is. I don't know if you've been on meds before, but you will be surprised how much clearer everything will be after you start and they kick in.
For right now, I suggest calling a mental health hotline so that you can get some perspective - and so you can have someone to talk with. Being isolated is not a good thing. Is there a place you can walk to - a coffee shop, a library, a church, even a store? Just somewhere to be in the presence of other people can help.
Finally, though I hesitate to suggest it, you might just watch some TV. Stay away from the talk shows and tabloid stuff, just find a few regular shows - comedies, if you can find them - to pass some time when you have to.
Good luck!
2006-11-21 06:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should try to get on meds as soon as you can. This will ease your bad feelings.
Check in your area to see if there are support groups for loved ones of bipolar folks. Your husband may have an easier time if he can talk with others who are experiencing the same kinds of things.
It might help you to get out of the house. You don;t mention where you are living or what your financial situation is. Check into public transportation (not good in most places, but worth a try). Most towns have a public library with adult programming during the week. If nothing else, take a walk.
Best wishes....
2006-11-21 06:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Switch 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband was having a hard time and needed some space. Certainly reasonable, please do not hold it against him.
You said you feel isolated and alone and you take care of all his needs. While I commend you for caring so much about his well being, I caution you about having him be such an area of focus for you.
My husband was physically ill for a long time and during his at home recovery, the biggest part of his day was when I came home. He was lonely all day while I was at work and while I wanted to help him, it was too much pressure on me after a while. Sometimes I just wanted to be left alone when I came home.
You should find another support framework and get involved in activities that take your mind away from your problems. You can help others while helping yourself and your marriage.
Good luck!
2006-11-21 06:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by pumbakitty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get professional help with the bi polar OK? If you don't have any friends you should get into a group that can support your needs.
What you are doing, the house cleaning and preparing meals, is certainly good. But remember it's the stuff us guys take for granted. When we fantasize about women it's not her french toast.
Men want to feel desired and attractive the same as women do.
I had a relationship with a bi polar female and on her bad days she stopped being the feminine creature that I fell in love with. I wanted to get away too. It seemed the longer I stayed with her being that way the more I encouraged her to stay that way.
I bet there are some good articles on the web about bi polar disorder.
Good luck and all the best kiddo.
2006-11-21 06:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweety...it may be that he just does not understand what a person with bi-polar goes through. Get out there are get your meds as soon as you can, that is vital and things will be a lot better once you are in treatment. I can imagine how hard it is to be in a strange place without friends and going through this.
The link below will take you to a site that is an online peer support group for anxiety, panic, depression and other emotional disorders. It's free and they are good people to talk to. There is a link to join the group as well. Good luck hun.
2006-11-21 06:11:37 · answer #5 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you're going thru such a difficult time. Sometimes it's very difficult to cope with a spouse who has bi-polar, and he may be reacting to that, and the fact that you're not on medication. He should be there for you tho. See a doctor and get started on meds, try to make friends in your neighborhood or maybe join a church or club. This would provide you with some other outlets and interests other than your husband and house work. I hope you're able to work things out. Godspeed
2006-11-21 06:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do know that sometimes I feel better to talk to somebody that is not close to me about such feelings. I've been battling depression on and off for 10 years, and while my husband tries, sometimes they don't understand sometime we want them to listen without trying to come up with some quick fix answer for us. We just want them to be a listening companion at that time. Not in his defense b/c only you know what happens in your house, but I know that in a recent conversation with my husband after 10 years of him supporting me through my bouts did I really hear how he feels. Although they are not supposed to magically fix us, he felt rather let down himself that despite his support, us having kids and living the life, us sacrificing so I could stay home, him being very support and attracted to me no matter what, that he as the man of the house and my best friends feels very helpless and unusefull that he can't make it better, like a mom wants to make all her childs worries disappear. Some of that might be part of your husband's thoughts?? He's not enough of a man to rescue you like a knight in shining armor??
2006-11-21 06:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and explain to him how you feek. Tell him you feel really alone and need hid help to get through this. And please follow up with the doctor and start treatment. Bi-Polar is a managable disorder and does require treatment. Husbands and wifes are suppose to stick by their mates side in "sickness and in health"
2006-11-21 07:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by Robin L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can? try to get to the Dr. to help . even if they can give you something to relax, maybe you can take something to relax when you feel a bad episode coming on, I wish your husband was more of a help, but if he knows your tying to get help, maybe he will understand, you need someone to talk to, and some med's. hope thing's get better for you:)
2006-11-21 06:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it looks like you need to leave this husband of yours. If he really loves you then he would stay with you and take care of you but from what you have said already it does not seem like it. May be you should come home and find your self a better husband and at least have your family take care of you. cheers.
2006-11-21 06:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by arltx4u 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋