She woke up late today because her alarm did not go off, that was not her fault but she still had more then enough time to take a shower get dressed and do her homework while eating breakfast before heading out the door. She is supposed to do her homework the night before, I remind her twice and then it is up to her to get it done, if she doesn;t than she has to do it in the morning during breakfast. Well she decided to be slow and not get everything done. She was 45 minutes late for school, and I refused to excuse her lateness as she was late due to her own irresponsibility. I emailed her teacher to explain the situation, and she promised to do better, she came up with an idea of going to bed earlier and getting up earlier so that she is not as rushed or crunched for time.
What would you have done in this situation?
2006-11-21 05:54:14 · 15 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
i guess i mean would you have excused her lateness or not? I already am holding her accountable for her behavior obviously.
2006-11-21 06:02:51 · update #1
she cannot take a shower at night, her hair goes crazy if she sleeps on it and looks like crap in the morning....so she has to shower in the am. As for her homework, its her responsibility to do it, i remind her twice and thats it, if she doesn;t do it she gets consequences...i don;t think that my child needs to be coddled at 8 yr. old......
2006-11-21 06:04:27 · update #2
yet again she cannot shower at night. Too much responsibility? I don;t agree, i appreciate your opinion but i disagree. My daughter my be 8 almost 9, but she is very smart, and she needs to know that she has consequences. We also do not go over her homework, I believe that if she makes a mistake then she will have that corrected at school therefore will learn from it. If she doesn;t do her homework she gets no playground time at school the next day, that works...she does not need to be coddled at all, she is perfectly capable of being responsible for her own actions, and taking the consequences when she is not.
2006-11-21 06:12:34 · update #3
I would not have excused her absence. I think you made the best choice, since you followed up with the teacher to inform her of the reason for the lateness. In the future, I would not have her do homework at breakfast, if she is to do it after school. You should not have to remind her at 8 that her homework needs to be done. It should be a part of her evening routine that she comes in and does her homework right away. If she is in after care at school, they will have a set schedule to follow. By allowing her to complete her homework during breakfast, you are giving her yet a third chance to avoid losing playground time. Maybe if she spends a week doing homework in school that she should have completed at home (and no playground time), then she will begin to make the effort to get her homework done when necessary.
Children as young as 3 can learn to be responsible if they are taught, so coddling her will do nothing more than make more work for you. When she gets to be an adult, her supervisor will not follow behind her to make sure she is completing assignments. Right now, her job is to go to school, do her homework, and be a child. (And any other expectations you have of her as her parent).
2006-11-21 08:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by Meesh 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would have *insisted* that her homework be done the night before. The consequence is the loss of privileges. I have a 4th grader and a 2nd grader. When they have homework it is always done the night before, no matter what. Too bad if it means missing their favorite TV show (for example).
My kids also shower at night, which helps mornings go more smoothly. If having a shower in the morning means being 45 minutes late for school, I'd have my child skip the shower. Laying out clothes and having the backpack loaded with everything necessary the night before helps too.
Age eight is a little young to be completely responsible for organizing and time management. Yes, they learn by doing but they also need good guidelines and solid rules to follow.
2006-11-21 06:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by Gretch6 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she's perfectly capable of being responsible for her own actions, then why parent her at all?
HOmework should be done at night and it sometimes takes more than a couple of nags from you to do it. If it means sitting with her at the table while she does it, then thats what you do. If it means going over the work with her, then thats what you do. Why wait til her study habits are so bad that she fails a grade?
I agree that she needs to learn the consequences of her own actions, but at this age she won't look 5 or 10 years in the future. You need to do this for her. Its part of being a parent. As for the rest of it, get her up a little earlier so she can properly get ready for school.
2006-11-21 06:40:41 · answer #3 · answered by chicchick 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling you aren't going to like my answer at all but here goes...from the question and additional remarks, I have to say that the first impression I get is that you are putting all this on her shoulders because you do not want to take the time to be involved. It almost seems like you are too lazy to want to help. I sincerely hope I am wrong, but this is what I first felt when I read your comments.
If this is the case-and I hope it isn't-then please think about why you feel like she needs all this responsibility at such a young age. She really is still a VERY young CHILD, and nowhere near an age where she should be unsupervised with much more than showering and TV.
Perhaps her way of asking you for help is to NOT get her homework done, and to be late? She may be wanting attention and is not sure how else to get it.
2006-11-21 13:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 8 yr old son ...andI don't mean to judge the way you think ...but this is just my opinion! Kids are kids and @ the age of 8 they are barely learning about resposabilities. I think it is ur responsability to make sure she does her homework... make her sit down and don't let her get up until she is done with her homework. You can't leave that up to her cuz she won't get it done! All kids lag with their homework so you have to create a habit so that when she grows older you don't have to be on her butt so that she gets staff done! She probably takes so long gettin ready cuz she knows she still has to do her homework and this makes her feel lacy!! Have her do her homework as soon as she gets home and then let her play or watch TV...send her to bed 8 or 8:30 pm and wake her up a lil earlier...if she complains then tell her ... if you want to get up a lil later u need to show me u get ready faster and if she does buy her a lil something (just for the motivation) This works wonders for me!!
2006-11-21 07:33:32 · answer #5 · answered by babygirlxx68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I'm going through the same exact thing with my 10 yr old. So this is how i do it now i give him a time limit for everything lol. If it isn't done in time then there is punishment like he has to stand in the corner or he has to read a book and write a essay or he has to do practice work in work books but his punishment is always usually academic.
When he gets home from school he has to take off his uniform and then start his homework. Because he is so slow doing his homework he is timed he has 2 hrs to do his homework. Then he has 1 hr to play then he has about 35 min to eat dinner then he goes to bed around 8:30. In order for him to get up by himself he has to be sleep by 9:30 the latest. So he goes to bed @ 8:30 and it takes him time to fall asleep.
10-15 min to take a shower.
4 min to brush teeth & wash face
10 min to get dressed
35 min to eat dinner
2 hr for homework
1 hr to play,watch tv. He ususally prefers to play.
P.S i started this 1 month ago. He has improved in waking up all by hisself and homework. He's been late only once and thats when i let him stay up a lil later when we had company.
PSS my boyfriend recently told me that i expect too much from my son. I guess i do.
your story reminds me of mine.
My son can cook, he does his own laundry in the washer and even knows how to travel . I know he is only 10. But he isn't dumb and very smart as you know your daughter is too. It has helped him to be responsible at an earlier age. I'm not stoping him from being a kid. Good Luck
2006-11-21 06:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are putting way to much responsibility on your daughter. First of all. Make sure her homework is done at night. You are the parent, it is your job to supervise her. Then have her take a shower at night if it's too much for her to do in the morning. Then all she has to do in the morning is get up wash her face brush her teeth and hair get dressed and eat breakfast. Then she can start the day off calmly instead of the chaos she seems to have now.
My daughter's routine is - Get home from school sit down do homework then she plays with the neighbor girl or plays on the computer, or whatever she wants to do, but no play time until homework is done and we go over it together to make sure it's done correctly. She gets a shower at 8 and is in bed at 9.She picks her clothes out the night before so we're not looking for anything in the morning too. She gets up at 6:30 and gets dressed and eats breakfast and goes to school at 7:30. She's a slow kid in the morning too, so I have her do the bulk of it at night so there's not too much to do in the morning. She's 7.
I'm all about teaching responsibility, and accountability. But I also realize my daughters age and what she can handle on her own - like keeping her room clean or no allowance, and things she needs help building good habits - like doing homework after school instead of in the morning. Why try to make life more difficult for her at her age. She's only 8. She's still learning and maturing. To me it's better to ensure some things get done so that her learning doesn't suffer.
Too many people take parenting to mean coddeling. You can't expect the school to be 100% responsible for teaching your child. At some point they need guidence at home too. It has nothing to do with intelligence and more to do with forming good work habits. My daughter is smart too. She get mostly A's and does her work by herself. We go over homework together mainly so she knows I'm interested in what she's doing in school and so she knows I expect her to do the best she can do on her homework. I don't correct any mistakes when we go over it, she does. I'm just trying to get her into the habit of double checking her work when she's done. Whether it be at home or school.
Yes, I would have excused her tardiness, but gave her consequenses at home, like no TV or play time when she got home from school.
2006-11-21 06:09:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
SHE'S EIGHT YEARS OLD.......your the parent you should be responsible, make her do her homework when she gets home from school before dinner not after. have her pick out her clothes she wants to wear the next morning and take a shower before bed, then in the morning all she has to do is eat breakfast and get dressed, whats the big deal? She should be in bed by 8:00 and asleep by 8:30, if I had to wake up every morning to homework I wouldn't want to get up either. Put your foot down and be a parent.
2006-11-21 06:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by MKM 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Is she 8 or did you mean 18 ??? Don't give her a choice about doing homework at night make her sit there until it is done then she won't be behind in the mornings.
I re read sorry, I do understand you want her to grow into a responsible young lady and I am sure she will, but I still think 8 is a bit young to be so responsible, let her be a kid too.
I'm sorry but WTF is the person below me even saying?? What langauge is that??
2006-11-21 06:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you want your daughter to learn to be independent and be responsible. It's ok to set expectations. I am just curious about if you spend quality time with your daughter such as getting to know what she's thinking, have a mother and daughter moment- bonding. No matter how smart a person is, everyone needs to bond with someone. It doesn't sound like your daughter is happy. Just out of curiosity.
2006-11-21 07:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by Renee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋