. . .Because seriously. It's been since June. I should be over it by now, but I'm not. We dated for four years, which is practically an eternity in today's world, and now he's already in love with another girl. It's not as bad as it was in the beginning, but there are still days when I think about finding a way to make him impotent through the use of voodoo dolls.
I've been busying myself and whatnot, but something completely random will happen, and it will make me think of him, and then it's back to square one. I've tried dating other men, but the only guys in this town my age are either married or meth addicts, and I'm not a fan dating either one of those. Besides, I'm pretty sure I have the pheremones of a wild boar, because guys don't exactly fall at my feet.
So what do I do? What did YOU do? How long did it take you to get over your first big heartbreak? Am I completely pathetic, or is it normal for it to take this long?
2006-11-21 05:48:09 · 10 answers · asked by Casey 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I definetely feel your pain on this one, and unfortunately there is no one answer that will heal anything. Everyone gets over heartbreak at different rates.
I'm still heartbroken from something 8 years ago - and I've realized that will always be a scar for me. It's not something that will heal 100%, but I've found ways to successfully find other kinds of love and other kinds of happiness.
Even though the guys you've dated since haven't worked out, one eventually will. You might have to do something totally new - find a new job, move to a new city - something that will start your life over. I know a lot of people that things like that have helped. You will surround yourself with new things that won't remind you so much of him, and with new people who aren't like the people in your town. It's hard when you're still in the same place you were when you were together because everything will remind you of him.
You have to let yourself be sad about it from time to time, but don't let it consume you. You're not at all pathetic - and it's totally normal to always have a pang in your heart for your first love.
2006-11-21 05:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jitterbug 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so hard on yourself right now. It should take at least a good six months...well, it did for me. The day you wake up and it doesn't feel like you've had the air knocked out of you is the day to look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Regain the confidence you've lost, cause your not going to attract any quality partner when your down in the dumps. I also tried dating too soon, and all I could get out during conversations was where I was with who, not who I am and why am I special. You'll get there, but get to the place where your just comfortable with yourself first, then when it happens, it will be right. Good Luck!
2006-11-21 05:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by ndngrlz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took me a year to get over my first big heartbreak. If you had a relationship for four years, you need to take at least a year to rediscover yourself. You've thought of yourself in extention to a man for too long. When you're ready, try internet dating. I know it sounds dangerous, but everyone I know who has tried it is now either married or engaged.
By the way, from your picture, you're gorgeous. The guys are probably just intimidated by you.
2006-11-21 05:56:54 · answer #3 · answered by scriptorcarmina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took me roughly 2 years, so don't fret.
Time slowly took the pain away. You need to understand that even with the best of intentions, things don't always work out, and no one should point fingers as to why.
Don't let it eat at you like a cancer, otherwise the devil wins, and you deny yourself. Life is about taking risk(s), and believe or not, you will grow from this.
Good luck
; )
2006-11-21 05:52:34 · answer #4 · answered by LovePinkPuffies 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is wait. Only time will make it better.... 4 years is a long time! I've been with my girl for 2 and it seems like forever..... Eventually while you are waiting someone WAY better will come along and sweep you off your feet in romance!!! trust me it will happen...... but it does take time! good luck don't worry be happy!!!!
2006-11-21 05:54:56 · answer #5 · answered by _DestroyingAngel_ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no best way to get over an ex.The healing process takes its own course.i suggest you not to force your heart to move past your ex.coz if you do,you will realise that you dont have ultimate control over your heart and mind.when i broke up with my ex,i wanted to move on instantly,and forced my mind,but this made my situation worse.i went crazy by trying to control and stop thinking about him.But i realised that forgeting and letting go is somethin beyond my control.so i decided to accept all the feelings and thoughts as they are.everytime i accepted feelings,i was deeply hurt,journey of walking past my ex was extremely painful,but this pain was better than avoiding or controlling feelings.Best thing to do is to go where your mind takes,this will cause plenty of pain,until one day that your tears will become sweet than bitter.i didnt take any short cuts to avoid pain as i know its impossible.let your pain flow as tears.bring it all out,dont preserve anything inside,let it flow.learn the art of accepting pain willingly.One day you will find yourself relieved and detached from your ex's strings coz all the feelings are out of your heart and mind,they will no longer exist inside to hurt or threaten you in anyway.try to engage yourself in activities that fascinate you.hobbies or sports somethin that may help you forget about love and dating.I tried what i typed above,which hurt a lot in the beginning of the process,but now that i have nothin left inside to hurt,everything flew as a river in the form of tears,i feel so relieved and peaceful.i am no more attached to my ex.i am free.i am extremely happy.Good luck!.
2006-11-21 05:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea my big heartbreak wa sin July and i was over it months ago.....i am in a awsome new relationship with the guy of my dreams
jus rememebr tho the logner u r in a relationships the longer it takes to get over it....
i hope it all works out for u
~Ally
2006-11-21 05:52:18 · answer #7 · answered by greenismylife.songismyworld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in a relationship for 10 years and one morning he woke up and said you gotta go or i gotta go but i want my life back WHAT hahah so i left, now hes calling cryin lmao. as to an answer, only you can answer that, i hated him that worked for me lol. but you have to deal with it ya know, go find some other dude just to hang and be friends with, not an old friend, a new dude. at any rate YOU WILL BE FINE i promise.
2006-11-21 05:51:42 · answer #8 · answered by sacreddruidess666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ye, i think of i could desire to take it. i recognize that it would harm plenty yet I surely have watched my buddies flow via it and that i became the only that gave them the advice and stuff so sure, i think of i could desire to deal with. it would be annoying, yet no longer something's impossible.
2016-10-17 08:21:58 · answer #9 · answered by atalanta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u go threw it enough times ur heart will go numb.so can u go party 20 or 30 miles out of town to meet someone?
2006-11-21 05:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋