My fiance's mother lives with her because she doesn't make enough $ to support herself. She is seperated but not divorced from her husband who, I'm assuming, hasn't divorced her because he doesn't want to pay alimony. She doesn't speak English and can't drive. She is fifty something and has never lived alone. Plus she needs constant supervision in the kitchen because she always leaves things on the stove and and walks away from it or goes to bed. She has almost burned the apartment down three times in the last three months. She blew up one of their old apts because she left the gas on. I'm not joking either. They are trying to get back into those apts again and had to leave her name off the app because she was permanently blacklisted. She doesn't need to be put in a home, she's not senile or mentally ill, just very inept. The thought of having her live with us after we get married wakes me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I don't see any other way though. Help!
2006-11-21 05:43:08 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I like the responses so far. The problem with groups is that would be yet one more thing we have to drive her to and back from. We already spend a ridiculous amount of time just driving her around.
2006-11-21 05:56:24 · update #1
I don't know if she would be a candidate for an assisted living facility. You live on your own. It's not a retirement/nursing home. You live in your own apartment, but there is staff there to make meals and help out with other things. It may be expensive though, I'm not sure. You should get her an attorney to process her divorce so she can get alimony to help support her. I'm sorry to say, but if this is something you really can't handle, you may have to rethink marrying your fiance. Her mother is comparable to a women with a child. She will always have to care for her, because she has noone else. Don't get married until you either except the situation or find an alternative to taking care of her mom. You also have to think about when you have kids of your own. Will you be able to support your mother-in-law and your kids. You have a lot to think about if you can't get help with her mom.
2006-11-21 05:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have any choice but to insist that she live somewhere else... there is government help to assist her with living expenses..as well, there are assisted living homes that are not nursing homes...I believe it's unfair for your fiance' to expect you to try to start a new marriage with an in-law living there....only other option would be...to postpone the wedding until her mother gets settled elsewhere..... Best of luck to ya!
2006-11-21 06:16:46 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg......yeah. this isn't good. she needs a full time babysitter. so who is doing the baby sitting? what about a board and care home? some places will even cook for you. and some are catered to the elderly that just need assistance not a full time medical staff.
2006-11-21 06:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her go to older people groups to get out so she isn't in the home causing trouble. Think of it as day care for adults!
2006-11-21 05:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋