My 14 yr old, has not respect for me or his dad, all my other children are polite and say yes ma'm and everything. He complains and yells even if he is asked to pick up a sock off the floor. He lies about stuff all the time. I can see him do something and he will deny it. He is a straight A student and an all around good kid, with the exception of the arguing, rolling of the eyes, smart mouth and the fact that when he is told to stop talking or shut up, " I don't want to hear anymore" he keeps going. I do not know what to do, nothing has worked so far? He upsets me and makes me stressed and makes me cry on a daily basis.
2006-11-21 05:27:34 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Yes, my kids have driven me crazy... and I still have two left at home that are still driving me crazy! Your son is 14... he is going through not only his puberty stage, but also finding out where the "fence" is as far as you are both concerned.. He is wanting to become a young adult... it sounds like you are lucky if he is doing well in school... I wish my teen was getting A's... ;0) and if he is a good kid... praise the positive in him. He is looking for some kind of attention at home apparently! Show him that you value him for what he does well.. take time with him and when he is talking, (in a normal way) then listen and learn to appreciate him!
Yes, you are the parent and have the right to discipline him when he needs it, but maybe his lying and complaining to you are signs of not enough of the right kind of attention at home... I too am a cryer, but mostly due to my emotional state of aging too fast! I also wonder what your husband does to spend time with the boy... he needs some good quality time with you and dad!
Well, the fact that most of your kids are showing you respect means you have done a great job and you are good parents! I have never had any one of my kids say yes ma'am to me, but they are polite for the most part... just not always.. we are way too relaxed that way I guess... Anyway, if your son continues to show disrespect to you after you try new ways to change this behavior, then just simply take away a privilege from him, like grounding him from something he really likes alot... that usually works if you can be firm! Well, as I said, I am not much better off, except my teenage trials are two girls... one 15 and one 13...
Good luck, if all else fails, get him to go to counseling or talk with someone about things...there could really be something going on and he just cannot seem to be able to talk to you about it!
2006-11-21 05:50:02 · answer #1 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're stuck in a rut, that everyday keeps getting deeper & deeper.
as someone else mentioned, praise the great things he does, and ask him in a private conversation with just you and your husband what it is that agravates him in your household, and what would he like to see around the house. After he is finished his explaination, (and dont except I dont know). Tell him that you understand his feelings (even if you dont) and remind him of the family rules, and how things are run... dont overwhelm him though with a bunch of wrongs all at once! just mention the things that HAVE to change, and slowly try working on the other things. But remember the things he mentioned and truly try to work on those. If after a few days and nothing has changed, take away privilages. Main thing is to stay calm with him and dont let it be a battle everytime he walks by, as easy as that can be!
2006-11-22 03:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by Why? ... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are, or should be direct consequences to every behavior. Make sure he is aware of what they are. Then its his decision, should he choose to mouth off, then he also chooses to loose privileges, what ever they may be. Treat him as you would expect him to treat you. Do not call names, try not to use words like always and never. Talk with him when things are calm. If things get heated send him to his room then try again when he is ready to have a civilized conversation. Lead by example and be sure to let him know how much you love him every day. Catch him being good and let him know how that makes you feel proud. Also make sure he has a responsibility around the house, you are a family and every one pitches in.
2006-11-21 06:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha Sorry, but this is funny. Most of the mom's I know have almost the same exact story. I have three, all boys: 5, 3, 22 months. I agree that you need to put your foot down. We as parents sometimes try to take on too much and end up accomplishing almost nothing except driving ourselves insane. Not to pick on you, because I know it is so much more difficult to be in the situation, but like when it came to your daughters dress, you already knew it was too cold, so you should have had that fight with her the night before when you refused to let her wear the dress. You knew better but you let your five year old win that night, and then had to deal with it in the morning. I'm not going to nitpick through the rest of your morning, because how big of a jerk would that make me!! lol and I know as a mommy, sometimes you just want to make your kids happy, no matter the cost. But, let me tell you, I have had too many mornings like the one you just described. My secret weapon in my ipod. I have a rule about whining. That's not the way that I want them to act, so if they start it up, I put on my ipod. Basically, I ignore them as long as they are whining. Even my 20 month old has learned to hush when he sees me reaching for my ipod. It helps so much and saves me the stress of listening to them!!! Hope this helps!
2016-03-29 04:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider possibility that he is clinically depressed. As you point out: this is a bit beyond routine teenage stuff and its a pattern.
With anti-depressant medication he could be a whole new person in three weeks.
When my 18 year old is at her worst, she starts by seeming rude and beligerant. But then she just goes into a sort of hopelessness. Medicine has been a big help--not a cure all, but a big help.
2006-11-22 14:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by Millie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....First and foremost he is 14....He is going through a lot of changes....If he is an overall "good" kid he will grow out of it....I would not tolerate the disrespect....Just let him know that it is OK if he has his own oppinion but until he is paying his own way in his own house....He has to do what you ask....And as far as the "going crazy" thing.....Some days it's a really SHORT drive!!...lol
2006-11-21 05:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my wife have a 14 year old, 11, 8, and a 1 year old. They all listen to us (except 1 year old :p).Sometimes our 11 year old can disrespect us, not usually. When our 14 year old was 12 he was getting C's and D's and disrespecting us so we tried therapy, it worked, try it.
Good Luck!
~^Jeff^~
2006-11-22 08:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by omfgorzorz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start whooping his ***. Maybe that will straighten him up.. Don't let him make you cry, you're his mother, your supposed to mae him cry.
2006-11-21 05:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by star-e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world of a PARENT! Who the He** ever told U it was going to be all Peaches and Cream??!! They LIED!!!
2006-11-23 08:01:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
every time!!! and i dont even have kids i have nephews
2006-11-21 05:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋