Me and my bf have been together for almost 2 yrs. Right now he is in the process of buying a house. I have my own apartment, and my bf stays with me most of the time, (4 days out of the week). He knows that fanacially I am struggling, and he never offers to help out. I buy everything including groceries and everything else, which he eats and uses. He is very finacially stable and has no issues with money. I feel wierd asking him for money and I feel out of courtesy he should offer to help me sometimes especially cause he talks about it like grows on trees. Last week we went out and he forgot his wallet, i ended up spending over $100 dallors and he didn't even offer to give me back the money. I asked him if he could give me $50 and he did, but I felt really wierd taking it. I told him that I felt wierd about it and he didn't even make me feel better about it, he just stood shut. Don't get me wrong he usually pays when we go out. Am I wrong for expecting him to help and be considerate?
2006-11-21 05:17:00 · 18 answers · asked by Princesa2dy4 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said that if I wanted to move in I could because he know I'm going to be sleeping there most of the time. I know that he was waiting to get eveything together, like buying a house before asking me to marry him. I just don't want him to be more considerate,. His actions are not sowing me he's ready to get married. It's like he has to see us as "US" and not just me and him.
2006-11-21 05:29:28 · update #1
It was kind of my fault about the wallet...We were rushing and he told me to grab it and I did but put it on the bed instead of in my purse...
2006-11-21 05:38:07 · update #2
Let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he's pinching pennies to save for this house and make a home for the both of you? Okay, so that may not be the case, but there are many things that could be going on inside this guys head. I would definitely concern myself with this guys money style before taking the relationship any further. Financial matters account for a huge part of any relationship, especially down the road when you start a family, and if you guys are not jiving right now, how could it possibly work when you have mouths to feed and a mortgage to pay? It definitely seems like there's a social responsibility chip missing with this guy - I mean, when I stay at a friends house even for one night I offer to help clean things or buy them a drink if we're out...anything to show them I'm grateful for them opening their doors. He doesn't seem to be showing you any thanks, and he's really getting to the point where he seems to expect you to provide certain things from him. You need to talk to this guy, I know that's easier said than done, especially because money matters are such a touchy subject, but he'll never know it's a problem with you if you don't express your feelings about it. Good luck with things!
2006-11-21 05:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jessie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he is buying a house that you should move in with him and save on rent since your staying together anyways what would be the difference. I think that way maybe you would save the money there and it would open up money for things like groceries and toiletries. Other wise take him to the store and split the bill down the middle from now on since he is eating and using it anyways. I think this could be a solution and if its not something that you think will work maybe the money issue is too big of something that you need to end the relationship all together. I dated a man that was selfish with his money and he had it and I didn't and I knew it would never work after 4 yrs and ended it yes it was hard but something thing I had to do in order to save myself financially.
2006-11-21 05:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's nothing but a Leach, what the heck are you still doing with him. He will never change. If you marry this guy you better kiss your paycheck good bye cause he will take it from you and you will have nothing.
How dumb are you. Get rid of him and get someone who really loves you. And is willing to surport YOU and not You surport him.
I would never surport any man that says he loves me and does nothing to prove it....
Once a friend took me to dinner and pulled the "Gosh I left my money at home" trip on me and I told him and showed him my empty wallet and no credit cards. Your problem you figure out how your going to pay the bill. WOW he found a credit card in his wallet { he never did that again to me}. Don't buy food and lets see how fast he sticks around. Ha Ha Ha
2006-11-21 05:27:28 · answer #3 · answered by Angell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, u are not wrong. I mean come on ya'll been together for a while now & plus u said he's stable so money shouldn't be a problem to him. The least he can do is help you out since he's living there most of the time. Maybe u need to talk to him & tell him how u feel about this suitation.
2006-11-21 05:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by **{{FASHI0NABL3 DIVA}}** 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he make be taking advantage a bit. If he lives with you he should be contributing half of the expenses. You need to be up front with him or tell him to find someone else to live with that will let him get by w/o paying for anything. Forgetting the wallet is such an obvious BS move. Just be up front w/ the dude and tell him how it is.
2006-11-21 05:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by dipdabear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey; wake up! he's using you and you're the only one that can't see it. why would he pay for anything? there is an old saying that goes "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" he is getting everything he needs and it isn't costing him a dime. let me ask you this. if a Friend of yours wanted to move in with you would you let her live there for free? i doubt it. when he closes on the house you need to keep your apartment and stay with him 4 days a week and not offer to pay for anything (i bet he won't have any trouble asking you for money) and when he does ask you to help pay the bills that's when you need to get rid of this selfish loser and find someone willing to support YOU!!! because if he's not willing to support you financially he won't be willing to support you in countless other ways.
2006-11-21 05:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by sliafer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His parents may have brain washed him into not spending and society and the media are also to blame, He probably loves you but is really afraid to spend, i don`t like to spend either, but i take good care of my gf, a rose every now and then sure beats spending more than you need too. If you are planning to live together its a good time time to get everything on the table before its too late.
2006-11-21 05:23:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch - you are involved with a man who is quite happy letting you foot the bills while he keeps a stranglehold on every penny he can. This type of person is, usually, as stingy with his love as he is with his money. If I were you, I'd think about whether or not I'd want to stay with someone like that.
2006-11-21 05:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by dingobluefoot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no..listen you have been together for two years he should know you and htat you are not finaically stable and he should be offering to help u out..or better yet..should ask you to move in with him...or NOT stay at your house if he's buying a house you should be staying with him there..
he's just being a D I C K towards you and he doesn't seem to be considerate towards you. and thats just not right..
he should be helping ou and that's all i have to say
2006-11-21 05:23:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about it. If you want to stay with him then you will have to learn to talk about these things. That is a BIG issue for couples and I'm assuming you don't want money to destroy your relationship. Bite the bullet and talk to him about this!! Good Luck!!
2006-11-21 05:21:36 · answer #10 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋