I have been married 3 times now and swore after the third breakup that I would never marry again. I have been seeing this really nice person for about 6 months now and she is already talking about me moving in with her. It's not that I don't like her, but I guess you could say that I am a little scared of the idea and I really don't know what to do. I am afraid if I do not move in with her that I will loose her, but on the other hand if I do move in with her I am afraid I will end up marrying her and that is the absolute last thing that I want. What do you think I should do?
2006-11-21 05:02:48 · 15 answers · asked by golden rider 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Gently tell her what you told us. You should not be forced to do what you're not ready for. It's not like you're ruling it out - you're just not ready.
2006-11-23 13:29:08 · answer #1 · answered by childrenofthecorn 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hey Wanger you told my story. Have three failed marriages in my past, and that is where I keep them in the past, and met a woman three years ago. We both have previous relationships and as such both swore that we would never walk down the aisle again. But here we are set to do so next May 20 and I'll tell you what I have never, and I repeat never, been so happy in my 51 years of existence on this earth. If you feel that this is the lady for you than I'd say go for it and if you ever do decide to marry then don't look at the negatives but rather the positives and be grateful that she has enough faith in you to believe that you are her mate for life and she yours. Best of luck and be happy.
2006-11-21 13:09:46 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have her read this. That should work. She's "nice" so I bet she won't mind at all that you're all wishy-washy.
You want to keep her but you don't want to keep her. Interesting. You want to keep her around as long as you want as long as she doesn't get the idea that it's a relationship. I hope that was discussed right up front. "Honey, I want to sleep with you and call you mine, but don't think that this is going anywhere, because it isn't. It doesn't matter that you're probably looking for someone to retire with in a few years, settle down with, and enjoy the twilight years of your life, cause it isn't going to be me!"
I can see why she wants you. What a catch. Grow up, talk to a therapist, and find out why your last three marriages ended in divorce. I bet you had something to do with it.
2006-11-21 13:11:11 · answer #3 · answered by sandostrich 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't be pressured. If she really cares about you, she will not threaten you with "move in, marry me, or I'm outta here". If she would stoop to that, perhaps the relationship is not meant to be- since love has to be a two way street. So be honest- tell her you're not ready to move-in yet, and move forward from there.
2006-11-21 13:08:04 · answer #4 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just sit down and talk to her and explain to her how you feel about her and that you really like her but you don't want to risk happening with her what happened with the others. Let her know your concerns on the matter and I'm sure that she will understand. After all your not telling her you don't want to be with her your telling her you don't want to lose her. Just take sometime and think it over and it will all come to you what you need to do!
2006-11-21 13:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by crazy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not interested in getting married (now or in the future) don't pretend to be married by sharing a house and a bed. If shacking up with you is a requirement, meet another lady who has a little more self-respect.. and one who has no desire to be a concubine.
2006-11-21 13:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move in with her. If it was meant to be you'll now weather or not to marry her. And you're not getting any younger pal. Your getting to that companion needing stage
2006-11-21 13:13:49 · answer #7 · answered by loanbrokerprograms 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her about your feelings. And seek help yourself. You are not wrong in the way you feel, but obviously have been picking the wrong women for yourself. But fear will only hold you back from being happy in life. Good Luck
2006-11-21 13:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm close to your age, and there are all sorts of women out there. If I were you, I wouldn't make the move. You need to have your own place and your own space.
2006-11-21 13:09:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honesty is the best policy, pal. always let the other person know where you stand. Of course you have to have the strength to withstand whatever outcome it is.
2006-11-21 13:40:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
TAKE your time do not rush things!! If she really does like you, she will not leave, but respect your wishes. Talk to her about your concerns.
2006-11-21 13:07:01 · answer #11 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋