Some advice please?

Question

OK, my girlfriend wants to break up and I respect that except that she says that it is because we have different taste in hobbies and music. I think she really is breaking up because she is Very social and adaptable and I am actually a little shy and I try to fit in with her friends but I am not as involved in the conversation (she says). Do you think that she is breaking up because of this (like the hobbies and music are just a front). I respect that she wants to split up. Should I get counseling to be more outgoing or are girls okay with a guy who is not super outgoing? Also if so, I am interested in meeting a girl who is, even within a few hours of me is okay (Atlanta).

Answer 1

You don't need counseling to become more outgoing - what a thoughtful thing to consider. If girlfriend would go to a counselor WITH you, well, that could be interesting (you stand to learn about her as well as yourself), and maybe nice for the relationship. But shyness . . . as long as you accompany her to be in mixed groups (not always keeping her apart from others) and don't mind her being outgoing (without disrespecting you), your quiet ways ought to be okay. Always, the thing of utmost importance is who you are inside, your character first (values, priorities), then your sparkling personality.
Your gut feeling might tell you more about girlfriend's motives than any of us responders . . . do you think she'd rather be with a guy who's more outgoing?
(I always figured, "if he's GOING OUT with me, that's OUT GOING enough!")
Good luck and take heart: if she does break up with you, so be it. There'll be ample room for the gal who's better suited to you.

Answer 2

First of all you shouldn't be hanging around with your girl's friends unless they are your friends too. If one tags along when you are with her that's fine but if you are with her and a group of her friends you definitely won't fit in. Why would you want to hang out with them anyways? Your a man so hang out with your friends and do whatever you want to do and most of your time spent with her should be just the two of you. If she asks you to come hang out with her and her friends say you are busy or make something up. It sounds like she has made up her mind to break up so it might be too late but the best thing you can do now is stop talking to her. Don't finalize the break up yet or let her finalize it yet or she will definitely be gone for good. If you have to then call her up and start talking about something important and then right in the middle of the conversations say you have another call you have to take or say you need to go do something and you will call her right back. Then don't call her for a few days and if she calls you don't answer your phone. Then you can call her and make something up for why you didn't call. It shouldn't be something big though like grandma died, it should be like "It was my friend's birthday and we were out doing whatever and having fun!" Keep your conversations with her short. Let her know that you have a busy life away from her but that you still want to be with her. She's probably not having fun in the relationship anymore becaues your time together is spent with you tagging along with her and her friends and sitting around bored while they go on with all their girl stuff. You are becoming like a friend to her, but a friend that just sits there and doesn't say much, so how is that fun? She says she wants to break up because you have different hobbies but that's a bunch of crap. Your hobbies aren't something you need to share with your girlfriend. Sometimes people do but it's not necessary for a relationship. If you want to be more outgoing you need to put yourself in more situations that require you to be outgoing and it will get easier with time.

Let me sum it all up:
1. Stop hanging out with her friends.
2. Stop calling her so often and hanging all over her if that's what you're doing.
3. Let her know your a busy man and you have important stuff to do, and you should anyways, if you're in school don't you have something you should be learning and if not don't you have some work to do?
4. Keep your time with her short and fun that way she'll always be thinking about when she's going to see you next.
5. Go have fun with other people too and work on being outgoing.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you sweety... that girl is just saying it's because you don't like the same hobbies, don't change for anyone that doesn't let you be YOU! you should'nt have to like the same music as she does, and to be honest you don't have to mix in with her friends either, thats why there called "her" friends...don't sweat it babe, your better off. And as for councelling to be more outgoing, NO..you are who you are and somebody will love you for that, My fience is quite and a bit shy were on the other hand I am loud and borderline Bipolar with excitement every day, and it works for us. I make him more adventurous and he calms me down so I can see life. Be who you are and somebody will come along and cherish every moment! sincerely, SistaMoon

Answer 4

YEA, GET COUNSELIN.