my wife is pregnant with our first child , we are really excited about it and want to tell everyone , but my wife think its bad luck to tell anyone before the first three months are up in case of a miscarriage .
im going insane keeping this secret .
2006-11-21 04:28:20 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It's completely up to you and your wife! I have 2 boys (2yrs and 7months) and we told our families both time before month 3. I think with our first we told when I was 2 months, only because I didn't find out I was pregnant until then. And with the 2nd one I think I was a little over a month.
A lot of people don't tell before the 3rd month incase of a miscarriage. After the 3rd month the risk of having one drops quite a bit, but there is always a chance. Personally if I had had a misscarriage I would have loved the support from my whole family helping me deal with the loss...instead of not having told them and not having the support.
But like I said...it's up to both of you. You could always make a deal with her...that you could tell just yours & her parents and not tell anyone else until after 3 months, but if she is uncomfortable with telling people before than...I would respect her wishes. I know how hard it is to keep a secret that big from loved ones.
Hope this helps you a little bit!
Oh and Congrats to you and your wife!!! This is a very exciting time in both of your lives! Enjoy & cherish every moment. You never realize how quickly time passes you by until you have little ones and you are watching them grow!!!
And if she wants some support...there is a pregnancy board/forum that she can join...it's free. I've been a member since my first and I love it! She can join her birth board and converse with other women/dads that are due the same time she is. There is also a daddy's forum in here too...for dad's to check out! It's: www.pregnancyweekly.com
Check it out and good luck!
2006-11-21 04:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh! My husband is from a very superstitious Hispanic family, and they are the same way! I was told not to tell anyone about the baby before 3 months pregnant and not to buy anything for the baby before 6 months pregnant. But, I did anyways because I wanted everyone to be excited with me. :) I am 8 weeks pregnant with my second child, and although when I found out a couple of weeks ago, I had said I was going to wait until 12 weeks, I didn't. I tell everyone I come in contact with, and I figure that if something bad does happen, I will now have lots of people to support me and help me through it. I say go for it!! you're parents deserve to celebrate with you as long as possible during the pregnancy!
2006-11-21 04:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by shopper 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your wife has a point. myself, i didn't want to tell anyone but the news just ran.. a week after I had to to tell everyone the bad news. the mother of the husband is in her 70's and she had 10 kids and she told not to tell anyone before i pass 3 months. i will definitly listen to her.
About bad luck I don't know. But they say the first 3 months is when the baby is forming and is very sensitive. After the 3 months is very hard that a woman will get a miscarraige.
I can understand that you are very happy and would like to share this news with parents.
But time will pass, don't worry.
Congratulations and may God be with you.
Good luck
2006-11-21 04:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My rule was always that during the first 3 mos, you don't tell anyone that you are PG unless it is someone you would also tell if you had a miscarriage. In other words, is it a person you'd want to have the support of if something did go wrong? Or is it someone that you'd rather not have to share a loss with, if that were to happen? Usually you would want the support of close family like the Grandparents, so they would probably be on the "OK to tell on the hush-hush" list, while people at work probably wouldn't find out until 2nd trimester.
2006-11-21 05:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's bad luck....i think whatever is going to happen is going to happen (hopefully all good things:) but I know alot of people who do feel this way because you do have a higher risk of a miscarriage in the first 3 months but as her husband you need to respect your wife's wishes in keeping this a secret until she is comfortable with telling people.....
2006-11-21 04:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awe! Congratz and too cute you are so excited. Telling the family is a personal preference. I understand your wife not wanting to tell just in case. But, I think your family would dearly love to know! Also, they could be an extended support system if something should happen.
Think positive and good luck to you both! :)
2006-11-21 04:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by á?¦â?¥á?¦Ceciliaá?¦â?¥á?¦ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has a valid point. But I understand your excitement. But if ya'll tell now, then everyone would know. If something tragic happened and she did miscarry, the people around her would be more supportive cause they'd know the pregnancy had ended. I've heard of how hard it can me for a woman to mourn her child when others around her weren't even aware she was expecting so didn't know she miscarried. Talk to her once more and compromise on it. Maybe you could both agree to tell everyone at the 2 month mark. Otherwise you might "spill the beans" and her get upset at you.
2006-11-21 04:32:43 · answer #7 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is bad luck, but if something should happen then you have tell everyone that you broke the good news to. Just makes it difficult.
I would try to compromise and tell your parents at Christmas. Give them a fun present that would spill the beans!!
Congratulations and I am sure everything will be just fine!!
2006-11-21 04:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by his temptress 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is to back each other up. If she isn't ready to share the good news yet, then keep it under wraps for a bit till she feels more comfortable. Having the secret can be fun too! Regardless of what you decide about when to tell, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
2006-11-21 04:37:20 · answer #9 · answered by wyllow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no close family like that is ok, its the aquantiances and co workers you dont tell until after the first 3 month, she will appreciate the support as her morning sickness progresses and she will be thankful for her support system, parents included!
However,
i am not so close to my father, who is not with my mother so i did wait to tell him after the three months!
Good luck and congrats!
2006-11-21 04:36:30 · answer #10 · answered by crystald 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋