Do you spank your child(ren)?

Question

I wanted to know if you spank your child(ren) and if you do or do not, the reasons behind it.

I know that when you have children and the frustration gets the better of you you sometimes find yourself tugging on their arm to hurry up a little too hard or putting them on their bed or on the floor a little too roughly.

I would appreciate your opinions....

Answer 1

Yes, I spank my son. My biological father beat me, and I swore that I would never beat my child. However, there is a difference between spanking and beating. My son is a year old. He gets tapped on the hand if he's touching something he knows he's not supposed to be touching. I say tap b/c he doesn't turn red or even cry. For all the people who say a one year old doesn't understand 'no', they need to come to my house. If I tell him 'no' he stops and looks at me, and usually comes back and doesn't mess with it. If he does, I tap him on the hand, move him away from it, and give him something else to play with. If he goes back, I tap him a little harder. If I have to do it 3 times, I put him in time out for one minute (rule is one minute of time out for every year). When he gets out of time out, he usually has forgotten all about the object and goes to play with something else. He can go in my room, look at the cat's food, look at me, and then go play with something else. When he started walking, I got to tapping him through his diaper when he would go some where that he wasn't supposed to go. It's just teaching him what 'no' means, and that if he doesn't listen, he gets punished. Everyone I meet tells me that my son is the happiest child they have ever met. People I don't know tell me this. You can look at my son and tell that he is happy and isn't abused. Now when he gets old enough to have things taken away from him, I plan on doing that instead of spanking. My cousin has the two most well-behaved children I have ever met, and they are 11 and 5. At a family dinner, my family was saying how it's wrong to just take things away and not spank a child. He looked at them and said "How long does it hurt your child after he gets a spanking? Five minutes, tops. When you take something away for a week, that punishment lasts a week." I believe that. You don't take something small away. You take the Game Cube or PlayStation or something like that away. Something they play with everyday. I think a parent should do whatever works. If your child doesn't react to taking things away, spanking may be neccessary. The Bible says "Spare the rod, hate the child." That doesn't neccessarily mean spanking. It means discipling and punishing your child. As long as you are punishing and disiplining your child in a right way, then you aren't wrong. You do it because you love them. If you have an anger problem, then spanking is obviously not a valid choice. I think the only time spanking a child is wrong is when the child is beat. Spanking leaves no marks after 5 minutes. If you're leaving marks, you may want to go with another alternative.

Answer 2

I did spank my children on rare ocassions, usually on the behind or a spank on the hand. And they had to do something kinda bad for me to do that. I dont believe in hitting children for every little thing. Its about getting the point across that whatever they did to misbehave was bad enough for them to get a spanking.
A parent can get frustrated and although I cannot think of a specific time, Im sure I had tugged a little too hard or put them on the bed a little too roughly as you have described. But I never beat them, slapped thier faces, pulled thier hair or told them anything to purposely hurt them.
As sorry as I am for whatever bad things I did as a parent, I can only learn from it. And I did. I have more patience (my youngest is 8 and has LD) and I certainly need it now.

Answer 3

I am not a 'hitter.' Frankly, I can tolerate a 'swat' if a child reaches for something on a hot stove; or reaches into a fan. However...I am concerned that a lot of questions on Y/A are from S&M-type folks who 'get off' on bare-bottom spankings of their children. That is not good! Get your spouse to consent to a 'bare bottom spanking.' If your spouse enjoys it; and you 'get off' on it; then everybody is happy! And you do not have to involve a small child in your "pleasure!" The small child will appreciate this, as well!

Answer 4

I do not spank my kids unless it is serious. If I am really mad, before I spank, I take a mommy time out to cool off. The worst thing you can do is discipline when you are upset. Sometimes people take it to far.
If I am in public and my 3 sons are acting up, I usually give a little tug on the ear, which usually works. If it doesn't, then we leave. At home, I discipline by having them kneel on their knees and touch only their noses to the wall with their hands behind their backs. This is done for 1 min. per year of age. This was the worst thing for them, because they had to be still and not talk...if they did, they had to add time.
I am not usually in favor for spanking because it teaches a child violence. But again, sometimes children do need it. But it also depends on what they did to warrant discipline. You don't spank if they got in trouble for hitting someone else.
You have to be creative with disciplining. What works for one child, does not work for others.

If you are frustrated, send your child to their room and you retreat yourself for a few minutes to compose yourself. You don't want to hurt your child when you get lost in the moment.

Answer 5

i think spankings are good. everyone needs one from time to time...havent you seen nanny 911 those kids obviously dont get spankings and then you have a 3 year old telling you what to do, or beating the crap out of you. not in all cases but you gotta let your child know whos boss. there are ways to spank without it being child abuse. if you just use your hand its fine, if you pick up an object...then well....i cant help you. i plan to spank my child when she needs it. i will not tolerate any talking back, or things like that. :) it wont be out of control, just pop on the hand or butt. soft enough that it wont bruise, but frim enough to know whos boss.

lets be honest....how many times can you do a time out and it actually works?

Answer 6

Yes. You spank them to let them know that you are in charge and what they are doing is wrong. You spank them to keep them in place and teach them respect. A lot of morons are gonna come on here talking that nonsense that it is wrong to spank children but that is a load of crap. That is why we have so many bad children running around today because not enough children get spanked.

Answer 7

I spank my child only if it's need, we were Wal-mart and I asked her a queston, before I could get finished she was screaming and yelling, So I told her to stop but she kept right on as if I wasn't talking to her, so I popped her, my thing is when I tell you something and you wanna get in public and make a scene, then we are going to do just that , were you act up at is were your going to get your spanking at.

Answer 8

Yes, I spank them. I also have them sit on their bed, take toys and priviledges, and have them go to bed early. Each situation has its own set of actions. I do not spank in anger. I do not have my kids pick their own hickory switch and hit them with it like I was done as a kid. I believe in having lots of options. None of my children react identically. Of three kids, 2 react more to words and one reacts more to physical. I do what works. My kids are respectful and listen to me, so I know I'm doing something right. They are not brats and they clean up their own messes. I can take my kids out to eat without being "that out of control family". They don't act up in stores and throw tantrums either. For me, spanking is a valid option.

Answer 9

My children aren't little anymore, but I never spanked my children. I was brought up in this type of atmosphere, and I
swore I would NEVER spank my children. I talked to them and made them understand what they had done wrong. Sometimes
it was really hard to hold my temper, but I never gave in to violence. My son remember's this and is bringing up his children the same way. With God's help, you can do this.

Answer 10

I am trying to have children but I have worked at daycares for many years not any more and I also watch my neices and nephews when school is out and durning the summer time. I do believe in spanking but only when it is the right time. HERE IS HOW TO STOP SPANKINGS BEFORE THEY START!!!! If you raise your kids to listen and put them in time out then you will most likely never have to spank your child. Plus it all depends on the child. My neice can get a pop on the butt and she could care less, if you were to ask her time out or a spanking she would chose the spanking because it doesn't faze her at all, but put her in time out and she die's! My nephew on the other hand time out doesn't faze him but pop his butt and I do mean Pop and he cries before you do it, it hurts his feelings. These two are brother and sister I have 2 nieces and 8 nephews and they are all different. I have only spanked them a few times but there mom gives me permission, but if I am to watch them than the moms know that I believe in spanking. I spanked my niece the one that hates time out when I told her not to go into the street to play only in the front yard while I went into the house to pee when I came back out there was a neighbor out side with a Power Wheel Jeep those electric cars kids ride on and she was riding it in the street. She was in 2nd grade at the time and her mom lets them play in the front yard by themselves, but I live on a dead end and people can't read DEAD END, so there are cars that always turn around. I pulled her off that jeep and poped her legs, she did cry and she got in time out, BUT I believe in talking to kids letting them know things, I told her that I was scared she could have been hit by a car and gotten hurt and that scared me because I love her so much. And I am not her mom and only moms and dads can take there kids to the hospital and I am not there mom so if she needed to go to the hospital because she got hit by a car we would have to wait for her mom to come and she would be in pain. I never got her mom to write out permision that states that I can give her medical attion when she is in my care, her mom doesn't work that far from my house, but my niece doesn't go in the street any more. I don't work at a day care any more because I don't like how other moms raise there children nothing against any of you all but I had enought. The only day care I liked working at was a Church day care that stood by what they said, if a child bites mor than twice there out ect. Other day cares especially low income funded by that state I couldn't go the kids biting me hiting me doing it to the other kids and the moms want to know why I don't stop it. It is all on how you raise your kids when they are babies. If you don't start something you don't have to stop it. Hope this helped you.