My gf is mad at me, is this a legit reason?

Question

Actually she was really happy last week when I proposed to her but this week, she's mad because I told her the engagement ring is Cubic Zirconia. Did I made a mistake?

Answer 1

Hey everyone, have you forgotten - marriage is NOT about the size of the ring, or the wedding, it is a commitment between two people.
Ok, so what if you get a huge diamond and the marriage fails - then what is the point?
I think you did the right thing because you chose it, and she should be grateful for what you bought for her. I have a wedding ring, a celtic gold ring, no diamonds, and i had a small wedding but my marriage is a joy with lots of love. A ring doesn't mean anything, it's a symbol, but the more you spend doesn't mean the more you love. People are losing sight of what marriage is all about these days.

Answer 2

Unlike a lot of posters, I am not going to sugar coat my responce and act like it would be A-OK with me to get a CZ.

Here is how most women feel about their ring.... It is a symbol of their fiance/husband's love towards them. Now think about that with the ring having a fake stone.... Apparently the love didn't mean that much otherwise he would have gotten a real diamond. I know that I would much rather have a smaller diamond, or no stone at all, rather than a CZ. It's kind of like you didn't put any effort in getting it for her.

An engagement ring should carry a HUGE sentiment. Point Blank. With that said, an heirloom ring is probably the best to give. Something of her or your grandmother's, etc.

I was proposed to years back, and was excited about getting what I thought was an heirloom ring until I found out that it was his mother's when she was married to his father.... They were DIVORCED. Call me superstitious, but I knew it wouldn't last when I knew that. Again, it looked like he hadn't put any effort into it. If he had, he would have known that I wouldn't like getting a ring from someone who was divorced.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Point being, whether you think she shouldn't be mad or not is not at issue. What is is the feeling she got from it. Sit down and ask her why she is dissapointed. She'll let you know.

Answer 3

Yes you made a mistake in buying a fake ring. Its not necessarily that she's all about the money, I'm sure if it was a smaller diamond she would have been happier. But alot of girls have been dreaming about getting married since they were little girls and a cubic zirconia was never part of the dream. She also had to wear this ring forever and it will be a constant reminder of her first disappointment in your relationship. My suggestions is for the wedding gift you save for a real diamond to drop into the ring

Answer 4

Well she could be made out to be a superficial person only liking material things, but I strongly agree with why she is mad.

I think cubic Zirconia is only for costume jewelry. Woman dont want a fake diamond to where on their hand for the rest of her life. I think that by purposing to her that you really love her, at least I assume, but by getting her a cubic zirconia is like a slap in the face by saying she is not worth the money to put a real diamond on her finger.

I dont know your financial situation and I do know that diamonds can be very expensive, cant you go to a Jewelry store that you can make monthly payments on something a bit nicer for her? I suggest going to check things out and then explaining to her the reason you chose the ring you did.

Answer 5

Oopsie. She thought it was a diamond.

Was it a big one? She might be upset because she was faked out.

Also, in my experience with the general opinion of women regarding a cubic zirconia engagement ring....it's as if it doesn't mean as much...it's like you picked the cheapest ring you could find.

If you want to make up for it, take the Cubic back and buy a Diamond.

Answer 6

Question, why are you calling her your gf, not your fiance? Did this admission change the status of your relationship.

I'd sit down with her and have a heart to heart chat. What size of an engagement ring can you afford. Since the two of you are going to be married and you want the relationship to be for a lifetime, right, then you two need to work this out.

Explain to her why you did what you did and figure out what both of you can accept.

When I got engaged, my then fiance could not afford an expensive ring - he was a senior in high school. He found a unique engagement ring that was 2nd hand. I love it. It's unique and I realize that he got the best that he could do financially for me.

So, if your fiance is the wonderful woman you want to marry, then sit down and explain what really is going on. But be sincere and open with her, not accusing or blaming, but sincere about your feelings for her (women like to be told how special they are to their man, over and over) If she cannot understand financial issues (if that is the honest case), then you two have some serious issues to discuss before going further in the relationship.

Answer 7

Maybe she's upset because you waited a week to tell her that the ring was CZ. Are you financially strapped? Does she know this? If she knows your financial situation she might be more understanding about you buying a CZ instead of a real diamond. But you have to remember that most little girls dream of their wedding day...everything from the ring, to the dress, to the cake...everything! ;0)

If money is the issue, you could tell her she could have a really big CZ or a small little diamond. Let her choose which she'd rather have. Even though most people who look at the ring won't be able to tell the difference, she will know. And that might be important to her.

Answer 8

While she may seem like a money hungry gal, she really isn't. Every girl dreams about getting a diamond ring from the one they love. CZ doesn't cut it. Especially since it sounds like you let her think she had a diamond, but a week later told her it wasn't.

If you really can't afford a diamond, you should have told her - BEFORE you got any ring at all. You needed to tell her how much you love her and how much you want to marry her and how much you want to get her something that would make her happy. Then have a serious discussion about your finances. You would have to talk about it at some point if you two are going to be married.

But, for her to find out after the fact that you gave her a fake, isn't nice.

Answer 9

YES!!! First of all, why go for a fake???? I would much rather have a small real diamond then a big fake... also although you may not think so you were decietful to her, she probably feels like you lied to her. Poor thing this is supposed to be the happiest time in her life and now she has to worry about her fiance being honest with her... that sucks.... You need to grab her by the hand take her to the nearest jewerly store and get her a real ring... and believe me everythins will be better... I would also suggest letting her know you will NEVER be dishonest to her again ,and that you know TRUST is very important in a relationship and that you want to marry her and you will never do that again. GL

Answer 10

That depends.
We are taught that an engagement ring HAS to be a diamond. We're also told that it has to cost so many months of a man's income as well. It is the result of media conditioning.

A cz is nothing more than a man-made diamond. There are other gems that are done this way as well. There is nothing wrong with them other than the value. But truthfully, if the diamonds were not hoarded by those that control this business, real diamonds wouldn't be worth what they are, either.

I always advise a fellow to take the girl with him when the ring is purchased. That way she gets what she wants within his price range & it's a win-win situation.

Were you out to deceive your girlfriend? If so, then yes, you are very wrong.
But if you presented this ring to her with all sincerity, devotion & love, that should mean more to this woman than the value of the ring.
You need to talk about this with her, after she calms down. She may not be the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.