I'm a guy by the way!
I mean some women, but why is it that when some women come off of a previous relationship from where they were cheated on, and they meet somebody they like afterwards they have a huge mistrust for him.
They say they trust him, but there actions say otherwise, if your a WOMEN in this POSITION how long did it take you?
2006-11-21 03:44:03 · 16 answers · asked by crazyinsane0000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when your trust is betrayed it take a lot of work on your behalf.trust is something that is earned.I had to keep reassuring him that he was the only one for me.I also told him that I wasn't that way and showed him.I really hated going out with him at first be cause he would accuse me of looking at other guys,so I would tell him I was with him and only him and that they couldn't touch this. I'm his and only his.tell her that he was the biggest idiot and how stupid he was to give up such a wonderful girl and that your glad he did because now she has a good man.that will never do that to her & dont ever do it.if it doesent work out be honest.it will takes time and is a lot of work but if she is worth it, work with her you can earn her trust. good luck
2006-11-21 04:17:23 · answer #1 · answered by plantlady159 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being cheated on is a type of abuse. It will mentally wound a person, some worse than others. All wounds take time to heal. Be yourself, don't go overboard trying to gain her trust or when you change to yourself, she'll not understand. Talk to her and ask her this question, communication is hard and if you want it to work, start now. She may be surprised that you've thought about this. She also is probably having a hard time opening up trying to keep her heart from being broken because being cheated on usually comes as a shock. It's a natural instinct, for guys and girls who have been hurt to try to prepare themselves for the worst outcome so they don't hurt so bad or feel stupid if it happens again.
2006-11-21 11:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by vkkesu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess we do it because we've been burned in the past and don't want to get hurt again.
In saying that she trusts you (the new guy) it means that she WANTS to trust you, but that secretly she's kind of afraid that you'll hurt her too. She just doesn't want to be made a fool of for the second time - she's had her heart trampled and is kind of healing right now.
Don't take it personally, or at least try not to, and attempt to be supportive. You sound like someone who actually cares and is concerned about her well being. She'll come around once she realizes that you're not the guy that she used to date and that you are completely trustworthy.
Hang in there buddy!
2006-11-21 11:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have said it many times before, and I will probably say it many more times. You never get over it. You always have your guard up. If you are in this relationship where you are not trusted, give it some time. I think the person that was cheated on just learns to live with the fear, but as far as getting trust back in that area, not possible.
2006-11-21 11:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be different for everyone. Guys have a hard time trusting too after they have been hurt. All you can do is listen when she needs to vent or cry and SHOW her that she can trust you. Maybe start by putting some trust in her. Let her know about some things in your past that may have been difficult. If she knows that you trust her it will only be matter of time before she starts to put her guard down.
2006-11-21 11:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a trust issue. If you get hurt by so many people, what makes you think that you are going to trust the next one? I have gone through it and I still have trust issues with people. When I got with my husband (before we were married.) I didn't trust him at all and he had to gain my trust. Like, if he made a promise or he said something to me that any other guy had said before then, He had to prove it to me. Yes, it did take time but now I trust him and I have no problem. But it took me almost 4 years to trust him... so yeah.. it took me awhile.
2006-11-21 11:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by angels_killed_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After we women go through a hard time in our life with men we learn lessons, and I know its not fair to the other men that we meet and start relationships with, but we just need to be careful because we don't want to be hurt again.
2006-11-21 11:49:03 · answer #7 · answered by KerryAnn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All depends on how bad the woman got hurt and how often and how well she gets over things. Be understanding to the woman and make sure your actions show that you can be trusted..
2006-11-21 11:46:35 · answer #8 · answered by movu101779 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It never goes away. The only the thing the guy can do is just keep being honest and prove everyday that you're trustable. It never goes away and you need to accept it. Just be there for her when she needs you.
2006-11-21 11:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by kisme86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure they don't mean to do it, but they're not getting over the betrayal. Basically, theyr'e in denial and think they're over it but they're not. I've seen it myself and I know it's unfair but she is the only one who can move on no one else can do it for her. Stay away from women who do this.
2006-11-21 11:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋