How do I deal with a difficult Aunt?

Question

I was having personal problems with my sis a few years ago. I had no friends at that time.So my aunt saw my distress & would ask me if everything was ok.Then I started discussing with her about all my problems.She promised me that she would not tell anyone. But she has been telling her daughters about it all a long. One day they told my sis about what I discussed but they also told awhole bunch of lies with it . My sis was pretty upset with me. I was upset too so I talked to my aunt & she told me her kids wouldn't have said anything,I should trust her kids & my sis must have evestropped in our converstion.My sis lives out of state & when she came to visit I was upset about something my sis said so I called my aunt. Now my sis knows word for word what I told my aunt. My aunts is pretty upset with me because I don't discuss anything with her anymore.I am engaged to a wonderful man & she doesn't know my wedding plans or the date I got engaged. Now she is rude to my mother & mad at me.

Answer 1

As many people have suggested to your other posts, sometimes the best thing is to just get on with your life and ignore the stuff you can't control. And you can't control your aunt. Just explain the situation to your fiance and then don't do anything. Don't share any information with her if you don't want it broadcast to the world. The more attention you give her for such behavior the worse it will be. Also, she may have some degree of mental illness that is contributing to the behavior. You can choose your friends, your partner, where you work, etc., but you can't choose your family - you have what you have and they are who they are.

Apologize to your sister if you need to. Take care.

Answer 2

You did the right thing to distance yourself from your aunt. She's a big mouth and a liar, which does no one any favors. Hopefully your sister will calm down eventually, and let you explain that you initially spoke to your aunt because you were upset with the way things were with your sister, but auntie exagerated and misrepresented things, and spoke out of turn and betrayed everyone's trust. Hopefully she can forgive and forget. You don't owe your aunt any explainations or wedding news- she obviously has issues, and you shouldn't have to set yourself up for another potential betrayal. Good luck.