Some advice please?

Question

I have the hots for one of the barmaids at a pub i got to. Last monday ( not yesterday the previous monday ) she was there but i aint got the guts to say anything to her so i wrote on one of my business cards that if she would like to go out for a drink one night then to give me a call but as yet she hasn't. I am going there tonight and know she will be working so do i make reference to it or just not say anything. As yet i am not sure if she is seeing anyone and bear in mind i am quite shy. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank You

Answer 1

Doubt if anything will come of it. She hasn't been in touch so if you go in there and find it embarressing then best to leave and find another local.

Answer 2

Boney, she works in a pub. YOu have a business card. Do you see the difference? I'm not saying you're great and she's not but, being an intellectual myself, i've learnt that some people are talkers and others are writers. I would much rather sit and chat on the internet, than sit around talking about nailpolish and make up and other such braindead topics. Sometimes i'd email someone i like and they take weeks to answer...some people need a more direct approach. You either talk to them and get the awkwardness over and done with, or you don't bother. Inbetween teaching jobs I worked in a call centre where we used email and so on to correspond with colleagues cause we were spread across several floors. Some people prefererred if you went right up to them to solve a problem, me, i preferred email and sometimes i'd wait and wait and wait some more for a response. Also, some girls like a more direct, "man-take control" approach, i'm one of them. Lots of girls here in Essex, where I live, are much more upfront and forthright. Hence their reputation? OH well, i'm no judge, I will however say to you that if you like her, ask if you can buy her a drink, if she walks off, you know your answer, if she responds with a loud and clear YAY OR NAY, you will know, try it one last time this evening, and let us know yea?

Answer 3

Lol Barry!

Are you sure she got the business card? You haven't said if you gave it to her or left it where she could find it.

Maybe she is waiting for you to ask her in person, as sweet as the card thing is, maybe she is unsure if you really mean it or did it as a wind up.

There are quite a few scenarios here:
1. She could genuinely be interested and wants you to do the asking.
2. She could be waiting to see you to give you her answer.
3. She might not have got the card, so you are back to square 1!
4. She might have got the card lost it and is waiting to see you.
5 She just might not be interested

You might as well ask and find out. Whats the worst she can say, "no thanks I am not interested"?! Its not the end of the world is it. Just smile and say "ok, but it was worth a try huh?".

Answer 4

Don't push yourself to do anything you don't want to or you'll sound like you're not serious. If she brings it up talk to her about it, if she doesn't bring it up make a decision that fits with what you feel is right at the time. If you honestly feel too nervous to bring it up with her, don't. Then don't feel any shame over it because you did what was right for you. There's nothing wrong with being shy by the shy, a lot of women find it endearing and sometimes flattering. Good luck!

Answer 5

seeing as she works at a bar, your not the only one with the hots for her. of course she isnt going to call you just cause you gave her your card. there are too many creeps in this world for that. the best thing for you to do is to get to know her. that way you'll know if shes the right one for you. sooner or later you are going to have to get over your shyness. and when you do it will be worth it. besides, the worst she can do is say no.

Answer 6

She probably didn't get it, or lost it or didn't know who gave it to her.

Unfortunately, you're going to have to ask her some time, so just go for it. Don't forget though loads of drunk blokes will have hit on her before, so don't get drunk before you do.

I have asked loads of women out in my time and have been refused so many times, but the one thing I do remember is that every time I was refused, it was done very kindly.

Good luck

Answer 7

Be gentlemanly and don't mention it. Be friendly and flirty but don't put her in an uncomfortable position where she might need to answer on the spot.

Would she have known it was your business card?

Have a friendly chat with her and if she knew it was you she might ven bring it up herself.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Be forward with her. Ask her again if she's interested. Be yourself, let her know what it is you like about her. If you are still having problems getting her to talk to you, keep going to the pub and letting her know that you are willing to wait for her to warm up to you.

Answer 9

barmaids are hit on all the time. they're used to it but your going to have to either be really something different to get noticed. and what that is i can't say. maybe asking her out for dinner might be enough to get her attention.

Answer 10

Just say I hope you don't mind me giving you my card I didn't even check first to see if you were available.Then if she is interested she will let you know if not drink some where else.

Answer 11

Just don't say anything... if you gave her your number and she hasn't called then I guess that means she isn't interested. Or maybe she hasn't got round to it yet, in which case she will apologise tonight. You will save yourself embarrassment if you just act as you always do. Good luck - hopefully she has just not got round to calling yet, but if not just act as you always do! :-)