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I'm 52, he's 57. he was married 38 yrs, I was married 22 years. We're both divorced, thats just how some things are in life. Don't be quick to judge, you don't know full story and if your under 40 you probably don't need to state an opinion anyway, no offense.We've been seeing each other for a little over 2 yrs at least 2 to 3 times a week. His hours are different than mine so we find quality time when we can. God knows the heart so what I'm asking is, if we move in together do you think I should bring it up or wait for the man to bring it up? I don't think either of us are ready for marriage at this point until we get to know each others grown kids, etc.... Anyway, whats your feedback on the issue at hand? Only 40 or older answer only please. Please don't be offened by me saying that. Thanks and Happy Thanksgiving to each of you !

2006-11-21 03:03:32 · 10 answers · asked by CryBaby 2 in Family & Relationships Family

10 answers

I am 51 and think you are smart to move in together before you make such a serious committment. I lived with my boyfriend for 5 years before we got married and very glad we did. Both of us had been in bad marriages and wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing. He asked me to move in, but I would of had no problem asking him first. Both of us are glad we did it the way we did. So I say to you, move in together! You will learn alot more about one another.

2006-11-21 03:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0 0

Well I am under 40 but older at heart! I think you should move in together and go by how you feel. If he is more old fashioned and traditional and you think he would rather ask wait for him. But discussing it is a great idea. If you are dying to see each other then maybe moving in together is the right step. I say lay it out there and make sure he knows you aren't looking for a wedding ring and marriage just to be with him in a living situation! Good Luck!

2006-11-21 03:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy 3 · 2 0

I think you deserve better than being a shack-up. If you're not ready for marriage, you're not ready to pretend to be married by sharing a home and a bed. Take the time needed to get to know each other's grown kids, etc. Two years seems like enough time to have included the family, so I think it's time to decide if you're going to take the relationship seriously or not.
PS I'm sure all the youngsters will see nothing wrong with shacking up- but don't demean yourself by becoming some man's concubine.

2006-11-21 03:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Ok....I am 39. Being just a year under 40 doesn't make me any smarter than I will be next year. So, my opinion is this. You are both grown adults. You should be able to bring this subject up to him without waiting it out. If you feel that you are ready for this, then let him know. Communication is the key to any good relationship and talking about it will get things out in the open. You never know, he may be just waiting for you to say something.

2006-11-21 03:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0 0

hello, I think you need to slow down a bit. Living together is enough of a commitment.. seen as both of you have been married before for a considerable amt of time each.. it wud stand to reason that he might be a bit anxious to take that giant leap into the unkown again..
it sounds like you are both very happy.. I tsuggest, live together, get to know eactothers families.. it can take a while to really know someone..
best of luck.
an by the way im 24, but just had to respond.. hope u take heed of my advice and not ignore it as im under 40..

2006-11-21 03:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by laura g 1 · 1 0

You can bring it up to him and see where it go's from there.Some people these days prefer living together instead of marriage as you can each have your own bank accounts, etc. If it doest bother you to live together without marriage and it doesn't bother him then go for it.
I am 58 years old. I never want to get married again but then again I also don't want to live with anyone again ( did that and it didn't work out) either. But what is good for me may not be what is good for you. Follow your hearts.

2006-11-21 03:11:55 · answer #6 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1 0

My spouse and that i are very classic and previous type. We did not stay mutually formerly we've been married. i don't declare to be an authority on the undertaking yet so some distance as i'm worried there are 2 the right thank you to look on the question: one million) First we live mutually and if issues artwork out we can get married or 2) First we take life-long marriage vows and then we do despite is mandatory to make our marriage artwork. I even have some pals who lived mutually formerly marriage. The affiliation labored nicely for them and that they are nevertheless mutually, that's super. I undergo in concepts asking a chum presently after his wedding ceremony how each little thing grew to become into going. He pronounced, in effect, each little thing is superb, it extremely isn't any distinctive than formerly. As unusual because it could desire to look, his reaction bolstered my determination to not stay with a woman formerly marriage. i think of marriage is one among life's best milestones. i think of marriage is and could be a life-changing experience. My spouse and that i wanted our wedding ceremony day to be the 1st day of something of our lives. we'd have liked to have the capacity to respond to that question via asserting "Marriage is staggering". We did not elect to respond to "it extremely is superb, comparable as formerly."

2016-12-29 07:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by louder 3 · 0 0

do you spend time at each other's place? i mean over nights and week-ends and things like that... i would wait for him to bring it up...as if you do...it could be difficult if he doesn't want to move in.....the over 40 group think different about this....maybe you should ask for imput from the younger group.....

i would not ever ask a man to move in...it is his place to do so.

2006-11-21 03:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by intelligentbooklady 4 · 0 0

My 67 yr old divorced grandfather has lived with two of his girlfriends now. I was happy for him :) (I'm only 26)

2006-11-21 03:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0 0

i am 45 and i think every thing should be brought out in the open i dont think a healthy relationship can happen if there things you dont talk about i believe in a healthy relationship there has to be good communication.

2006-11-21 03:13:37 · answer #10 · answered by moe 5 · 0 0

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