when do you give up on a relationship?

Question

I have been with my ex for 5yrs. We have had issues and a couple break ups along the way. We recently broke up 3 months ago. We have differences in our personalities that i think lead to fights. We are both in very stressful fields and it would be a lie to say that does not contribute also. Also about 7 months ago I moved to a different state 3hrs away for grad school. Now at the same time we have always been good friends. So it is not like we can't get along or don't enjoy each other. I think our differences in terms of a relationship can be worked out if we are both willing to try. But at the same time it has been 5yrs of ups and downs. My head says maybe its not meant to be but my heart says i still love her. When do you listen to your heart and keep trying and when do you just give up and move on?

Answer 1

When the bad outweighs the good, it's time to move on and I am speaking from experience. Beating a dead horse is not gonna make him get up and run. But if you and your girl aren't ready to throw in the towel, then give it another try. If it still doesn't work, it might be time to let it go and just be friends, if you can. (My ex that I mentioned in the beginning and I are still great friends).

Answer 2

Love Is Very Strong, And We Should Have Patients When It Comes To Staying In A Relationship That Will Lead To Marriage, Everyone Will Sometimes Fight, But Just As Long It Doesn't Lead To Violence, I Know That It Is Hard To Find MR Or Mrs Right. That Is Why It Is Worth That You Spend Some Quality Time Together And Try To Work It Out

Answer 3

Think about how your life would be without her in it. There is always going to be ups and downs, there is no perfect relationship. Now that you are 3 hrs away I would use this as a test. See how well you get along when you have to work at seeing each other. I would say that if you have been in this for 5 years there must be something pretty special. I wouldn't just give up. True love is very hard to find.

Answer 4

Life and relationships are always up and down. How bad are the breaksups though? You can't breakup in a marriage and expect it to be a good marrige , you have to learn to work them out. If you can't work them out without needing time away from each other, or you guys have terrible fights (as in throwing things, or yelling hatefull stuff, dragging out the past always) a marrige is a bad idea. The feeling of love, always wanting to be with that person, and always happier with that person doesn't change...at least for 18 years it hasn't for me. We argue, get mad, but never get mean. Pick your fights, don't argue over stupid things, it just isn't worth it. My life is better because of him. Sometimes just being friends is better if being together has become only that. If you don't feel she is the love of your life or you're better with her, and feel you can honestly work through anything that comes your way by bending over backwards, (her also) so you can enjoy life together, it won't be worth the effort. Your heart will always say you love her because you have invested so much time with her. I knew it was real love when sitting beside him I was just happy doing nothing. We have a lot in common (hobbies) but personalities are really different. Worked it out though. Worth it.

Answer 5

there are ups and downs in every relationship and you have to be strong enough to weather the storms. they say that the first 5 years are always the hardest. i know in my marriage it was the worst and ive been married for going on 28 years. weather the storms and go get your girl i think it will be worth it in the long run and if you can be very good friends and get along i think every thing else will come along fine and remember that 2 different people are just that 2 different people with 2 different personalitys and there are always gonna be some clashes.

Answer 6

I always believe that a relationship shouldn't have to be so much work.....I'm divorced to my first husband, my x and I always had to work on getting along....I found that it seemed like too much of an effort to make it work....I also found that when I weighted the ups and the downs....there were more downs than I could count.....that was enough for me,.....I think life it too short to not be completely happy....

I am now with my new husband of 6 years, and I have never been happier....we almost never fight, and never have to work on getting along....it just works....without all the effort....

That's when I knew......getting along with each other shouldn't have to be so much work.......when you love someone....you just click.....

Good Luck with your decision!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

If you guys are arguing all the time, okay let me give you my unease opinion , relationship take time to build and it just don't happen over night, there's going to be a lot of this" WHAT THE HELL WAS THINKING, I DON'T WANT TO STAY WITH THIS GIRL, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST BRAKE UP WITH HER, it's just a proses in relationship, it's call GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER... if you guys brake up the next girl will be the same, she probably she won't argue about the something but there are going to be some sort of arguing. just take a chance.

Answer 8

Sounds like you too will be friends 4-ever but son't waste no more time honey.. You must not always listen to your heart..

It don't know what's right or wrong...


Good Luck

Answer 9

Relationships only work if both people are committed to working at them. It is not fair to you to be the only one trying, likewise for her. If you are both willing to continue battling it out stay together.

Answer 10

i would give up my relationship with a guy when he is cheating me. When he is taking for granted our relationship.. For me, the ups and downs comes along with our life, its a matter of how to handle, if you survive and succeed then congrats but if u fail try another one.