Oh, the attitude and can we please keep a freaking job. And no for the 10 billionth time you cannot use my car, you have been provided three vehicles that you have destroyed and have another one sitting out in front of the house that just needs to be made legal, then you can drive it. And your curfew is at 1:00 unless it is a school event or planned in advance, why can't you make it home on time...you're almost 19 and setting a really bad example for your 9 yr old sister and 12 yr old brother. stop laying around in bed all day and get some stuff done, you start school in a month. What can I do to enforce these things with my college age child still living at home? We're about just ready to pack up her stuff and set it out in the front yard. Please don't bother to answer if you don't have anything constructive to offer. To everyone else, thank you for your efforts.
2006-11-21 03:02:26 · 10 answers · asked by Calli G 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
tell her that this is the way it's going to be and if she is not going to abide by your rules then she will have to make other living arrangements.....give her a certain time like say for instance 30 days to get a job and help pay some bills while she's living with you...she shouldn't be living off you...or at least to have money to support or own needs and be able to buy her own things...don't buy her anything or give her any money eventually she will get tired of being broke and want a job...and if she cant be home on time take away her keys and tell her your doors get locked at 1 am if she not there by that time she doesn't get in.....it's sounds harsh but she has to learn to be independent or she will depend on you for the rest of her lifer~~good luck~~~
2006-11-21 03:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, you are at the end of your straw. I am assuming that college is within driving distance. If you have a car that is within fixing distance, I would go ahead and get it fixed (one more time) because you want the kid to go to college (by the way, is this waht he/she wants - if it isn't, you are wasting money here). Sit down with your live-at-home adult/child and explain the rules of engagement. Tell him/her that you expect them to work at a job every available hour that they are out of school (it would be wise to set some times here and please include the weekends because he/she will need to work weekends to make ends meet). He/she is living in your home - he/she needs to be advised that this is a privilege not a given, so following the rules are not negotiable. The alternative is to be on his/her own (he/she is not financially set, so this is not an option). A realistic curfew should be no later than your bedtime say 11 PM. If he/she doesn't like it, tough. Besides, he/she needs to get sleep for work and school. Advise that the car has been repaired for the last time out of your household budget, and that any further expenses are going to be taken care of by numero uno. Be firm, and tell him/her that you are at your wits end, and you know no other way to teach him/her financial and social responsibilities without imposing these rules. I went through this procedure with three sons. One took my advice, the other two took longer to tame, but now they are all successful wage earners with families. It wasn't easy seeing them learn the hard way, but it is a must for you to do this, or you will have a boomerang child that is so prevalent in society today. If your child is a girl, you have the added danger of a child out of wedlock to think about. I have a cousin whose daughter 35 is still living with them, and they are raising her child - I don't think you want that if you are normal parents. Good luck and be firm. A good lesson for the oldest usually translates to a good lesson for the younger kids.
2006-11-21 03:32:41 · answer #2 · answered by Doug R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was there just a few years ago...She needs some sort of responsibility..It may sound harsh but tell her she has to pay rent. And the car thing?Gez..your insurance must be through the roof! I also crashed my dad's acr, but after that I was deathly afraid to crive his cars!! I hope taht the college experience will straighten her out a little! Some times tough love is necessary and it sounds like you have exhausted your other means...so maybe packing her up wont be e such a bad idea. And judge the way she reacts..if she freaks out, and offers up a change maybe you can work together. I hope this helps!
2006-11-21 03:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL
Option 1 draw up a lease agreement which includes the above items.
Option 2 tell him he can either abide by the house rules or find his own place to live.
Option 3 deal with the issues and love him, knowing that in a few years, he'll graduate and hopefully land a job.
2006-11-21 03:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no magic answer to this question.
You and your husband have to sit down with your daughter and lay down the rules as a united front.
Get nosy, and find out if she is using drugs or alcohol. Most normal people don't lay around in bed all day.
If her behavior is like this now, she won't last long in college where there is little structure, and more freedom.
2006-11-21 03:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by cowrepo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your child is 19 years old.....plenty old enough for a job (at least part time). When i was in college i worked part time, went to school full time and play Division III softball at my university. So i say you tell them either get a job and start paying for stuff around here or you can get out and find a place to live without a job.
2006-11-21 03:14:38 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite honestly, it sounds like your daughter is not quite ready for prime time. I'd let her know that you think your money is going to waste paying for this college thing, and that maybe she should take some time off. That would also include kicking her out of the house. She would have to get a job, maintain her rent, and all that jazz.
In short, she needs some tough love. She needs to see what it's like to work for something. She needs to appreciate what it's like to live at home for free. And lastly, she needs to WANT to be in school.
2006-11-21 03:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by Manny 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my parents my first 2 yrs of college until I transfered to a major university. Their rules stood and were not questioned. She is old enough to have a job and pay her own way your responsibility to support her ended when she graduated from HS. Start charging her rent, and stick to your guns dont let her walk all over you.
2006-11-21 03:06:25 · answer #8 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The house rules should stand. You are going to ahve to play hard ball and yes...pack her things and tell her...its your rules or you are on your own.
2006-11-21 03:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if they don't like your rules, ask them to leave, or try the army etc.. it's easy when your not paying your own way..............
2006-11-21 03:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by rkski98 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋