My sons are being tormented by a neighborhood kid who will not leave them alone. He is an instigator and a troublemaker to all the kids, but he's kind of a wuss, too. Everytime the kids react to his bullying, he runs home and tells daddy, who steps in without finding out the whole story and threatens kids, parents, etc. As you can imagein, we (as well as another neighbor, who's dealt with this guy) are frustrated and angry. We've told our sons to stay away from this kid, but the kid seeks them out and talks shi*t and tries to start trouble (He lives 2 doors down and goes to the same school as my kids!). What I'm telling them to do now is just say "So?" or "What?" everytime this kid says anything to them - don't give him the benifit of seeing them get upset, you know? Anyone else ever had to deal with a situation like this? What did you do? How did you and you kids get through it?
2006-11-21 02:41:05 · 13 answers · asked by Shelley L 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
FYI... my sons are 11 and 9 and the bully is 9.
2006-11-21 02:42:14 · update #1
Get a video of this kid and take it to the father and let him see it, maybe that will hep (probably not). If that does not work go to your local police department and tell them what is happening (along with the school) and see if they can catch this kid in the act and then let them speak to the father. Let your kids know that being a bully is mean and yes, he points them out but they have to be a bigger person and walk away. They are angry-let them be and let them vent it out and say how they feel to you and that might release some of the anxiety they have. You also have to let them know that there will be bullies throughout there lives and they will learn to adjust to each situation accordingly (put in kids terms) I am a mom with a girl that gets made fun of and bullied and I know it is hard. Good Luck
2006-11-21 02:51:13 · answer #1 · answered by lucyloulady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No matter how minor the incident contact the police. Make sure you receive a copy of the police report. Once you approach double digits in documented incidents file a small claims against the father for harassment. The father will now have to take off from work to go to court and with the police reports a judge should rule in your favor. Facing a $5,000 judgement and property lien has a tendency to motivate a parent.
Unfortunately this will probably not be your sons' last episode with a bully. Invest in strength training equipment and martial art lessons if available. It will build their confidence and strengthen their courage when faced with such adversity in the future.
Make sure to collect the police reports. If your sons do end up giving the bully the beating he deserves, you have plausible deniability. "But your honor, we tried everything first."
2006-11-21 09:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by elvisfinger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a sad situation, this bully obviously learned how to manipulate from his Daddy huh? Well, you could call a neighborhood meeting of parents and complile a list of incidents. Then, have another meeting and invite superdad there and tell him HEY your kid is a jerk, BE A MAN and DO something about it.
You're right about telling the kids to ingore the bully. He desperately wants an audience. Continue encouraging your boys and their friends to be happy and ignore the bully. Reaction is what he wants and when he doesn't get it, he will eventually lose interest.
2006-11-21 03:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by alwayslarat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well.. what to do is talk to a officer about this... beforehand.. and have the officer come when the trouble starts.... then scare the living daylights out of the kid.. get the officer to do the whole act... and then have the officer talk to the brat......
that'll make that kid settle down quite a bit for a while.
the parents may not enjoy it but like.. where are they when this crap starts up?
it's a good way to bring the scare into a child.. especially if this has been going on for a while.
it worked for us...
but talk to the nonemergency dept. first.. tell them what's up and ask them if someone when the time comes to drop by and do the whole act... of course with the actual officer telling the child about how it's not a good idea to start trouble in the hood and that maybe they should behave a bit more often so he won't have to come again.. and next time he won't be so friendly.
:D
2006-11-21 02:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
As for the bully's father, I would talk to him first but if that did not work then get the police involved. No reason for a Man to make threats over boys of the same age being boys.
As for your sons. Boys will be boys. They are going to have to deal with that on their own in their own way. May seem tough now but ever boy has to go though this an learn how much he is going to take and how he will deal with it. This is not the wild west but boys and men have not changed all that much sense then.
2006-11-21 04:50:44 · answer #5 · answered by Brian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing the best you can.
You might try (this is impossible) staying within earshot of the kids so when he comes over and starts the BS you can tell him to go home.
If he doesn't go home go to his parent(s), beat him to the punch so to speak.
Always remember after a certain age any physical assaults can be remedied by the police. Even if the cops won't take away a child less than 12; a visit from the police about your child is never a pleasant experience.
I have previously talked to one parent and then within a two year period called the police three times on a very physical and disturbed youth in my neighborhood.
2006-11-21 03:02:44 · answer #6 · answered by clic1_0 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We had a problem like this when I was a kid. What we did was got everyone that was roughly the same age as the kid to bully the crap out of him for a month, then we stopped. Surely the father would be too busy threatening to do something to the kids/parents to actually do anything about it.
After a month passes get the kids to stop. Repeat process until the situation is resolved.
2006-11-21 02:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by dementedpineapplemonster 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
ok,talk to the bullys parents and this kid doesnt sound much of a threat. but still i would tell the boys parents, make sure they know what is going on and stop the madness. and try to get your sons to ignore the bully like dont look at him, dont talk to him, just ignore the bully.
2006-11-21 10:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by mamas_grandmasboy06 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the parents and tell them what is going on according to other kids. If you have seen this first hand, then tell the father what you have witnessed.
2006-11-21 03:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my family had a bully as a neighbor and he would threaten our family. I think what you need to do is file a report for harassment and if possible get a restraining order so they can't come within a certain distance.
2006-11-21 02:54:48 · answer #10 · answered by debbie g 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋