my bf saw another woman for a little while, when we were apart (he is in the marines). He is back home now, and I forgave him, but yesturday i was thinking about it again. He keeps asking me what's up, but i didn't tell him cos there's nothing he can do now. he wants me to tell him today. how do i tell him it's because of what he did before, without dragging it all up again.
2006-11-21 02:40:21 · 14 answers · asked by maria h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it still bothers you, you should speak up. Obviously you cannot change what happened, but being honest is better than bottling your feelings.
It seems it bothers you enough that he can tell something is wrong.
2006-11-21 02:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by anotherboringday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know a little honesty can go a long way here. You said it very well here and he should understand that you meant it when you said you forgave him but it still bothers you at times. Time will be a good cure for those feelings. Just point out that you are being open and honest with him and he should appreciate it as long as you keep it short and just a statement of fact not a complaint or something that requires a response from him. Tell him then move on to something else.
2006-11-21 10:47:33 · answer #2 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about just dropping it? If you already forgave him, why would you want to bring it up again? forgiving, but not forgetting is basically the same as not forgiving. There's nothing you can do about what happened in the past and if you can't get over it, bringing it up again and again isn't going to solve anything. If you feel you can't trust him anymore, then you need to break up with him and move on.
2006-11-21 13:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by atxtallchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's bothering you now you should tell him about it. Let him know that you know there is nothing he can do to change the past but if you don't confront him about it now those negative feelings will just keep building up. I would suggest talking to a therapist or someone you can trust to give you good marriage advice.
2006-11-21 10:45:02 · answer #4 · answered by cabonarakittie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to tell him, you are going to have to bring it all back up again. If you don't resolve this now, it's going to keep bothering you and the relationship will never progress.
2006-11-21 10:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even if it is 4 a little while or 4 just a sec he gone out wiz her. the pain is done 2 u. bt i think that if he really love u n u love him so u must tell him wat bothers . if u dont tell him or fight a little bit 4 ur rite he will think that u r an easygoing girl n in future he might abuse. he will think that my girl wont bother if i do!!!!*******as she will forgive me in any way. talk to him ask y he did so.ask him if he loves u strongly and if really regrets wat he had done. dont show that u r jealous instead show ur anger. such matter shud be discussed and not let it go. make it clear that u wont tolerate such aweful act in the future.
2006-11-21 10:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by sham 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the saying " you forgive but not forget". Its really hard to trust someone again once the disappoint you like that. Just tell him the truth that you love him but it’s really hard for you to forget, he was the one that ****** up so he needs to understand. But if you love him you need to get over it because your relationship it’s going to go down hill if you don’t.
2006-11-21 10:45:11 · answer #7 · answered by kathernva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So yall were apart due to his job...Well, he should have never crossed that line...You respect the fact that duty calls, and he should respect the fact that you are waiting on him...He dont love you...Once a cheater, always a cheater...Get rid of him...All you should say is "BYE"
2006-11-21 10:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by ~babes~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you were thinking about something that was from the past that dosent need to be worried about. If he still wants to know just tell him what you were thinking about and include that its not a big deal and not to worry about it.
2006-11-21 10:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The situation u got here is kinda tricky..
U can starts it off by saying..I know its in the past but in my heart there's still a lil torn which triggers me sometimes..its what u did in da past..and i know it wont affect us now..but still i cant exactly wipe out the images in my brain...its stupid and i love u.I dun wanna lose u ..but help me..?
Ermm...hope it helps :)
2006-11-21 10:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by starrykickz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋