My bro met this girl who lives in Austraila on the internet.
Has been chatting online with her for 5 years
He flew to AUS and spent 3 MO. with her
Now they are engaged.
Now my family expects me to fly over in July to see him get married. I find this to be an outragious and expensive request.
I think it is a better idea if they have 2 Ceremonies.
The big one over in AUS and then a very small one here.
I think it is cheaper for her to fly over here than expect my entire famly to fly to AUS. What do you think?
What should I do?
2006-11-21 02:23:25 · 18 answers · asked by DRNoraSarasin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
1.He could not financilly do the same for me.
2.Yes they are going to live in AUS after the Wedding
2006-11-21 02:36:45 · update #1
3. It is going to cost $2,000-3,000 to go.
If I take my GF it will cost even more!!!
Ahhh!
2006-11-21 07:58:41 · update #2
7. Bro is back in the US now. She could fly here to meet him in July and have a small Ceremony at our Church and a Cake and Ice cream and or potluck reception. They could both fly back to AUS and have the BIG ceremony there and broadcast it over the net.
2006-11-21 08:04:48 · update #3
4. Bro is back in the US now. She could fly here to meet him in July and have a small Ceremony at our Church and a Cake and Ice cream and or potluck reception. They could both fly back to AUS and have the BIG ceremony there and broadcast it over the net.
2006-11-21 08:05:09 · update #4
How about you stay home and have them hook up a high quality web cam with microphones for you to watch the wedding over the net? A cyber wedding for those that can't afford to spend $8,000 per person for round trip air-fair plus hotel room(s.) It would go very well with way in which they met over the Internet.
This would also allow them to avoid the double ceremony you suggested as that would also be expensive.
The only reason for you to really be there is if you are in the wedding party as best man. To expect everyone to spend that much for a wedding is out of line with reality.
What ever you end up doing send a very good wedding gift.
2006-11-21 02:33:18 · answer #1 · answered by my_iq_135 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the bride's parents are paying for the wedding, the strict rules of wedding ettiquete dictate that they pay for travel expenses of family members to and from the wedding. However, most people ignore those rules today, and I wouldn't ask most people to follow them. I agree with you that it would be easier on your family if they had 2 ceremonies, or even a smallish reception here in the states, but it's their wedding, and they're going to do what they want to do. People tend to become rather selfish when planning their weddings, and sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture and the demands it's making on family members. However, you need to look past all that, and do your best to attend. But, if finances simply will not permit your going to Austraila, then by all means don't go into debt to do so!!! If the wedding is in July you have over 7 months to save money for the trip, and you probably won't buy plane tickets until later anyway. So I'd really think about it, because unless you're a college student paying your own way through college, the "I don't have enough money" excuse isn't going to wash very well. You've got ample time to plan for this expense.
2006-11-21 11:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this about your disapproval of the engagement or the location of the wedding? You should put your feelings aside and go and support your brother. Take the oppurtunity to visit a place you would normally not have an oppurtunity to see. Save up for the trip and get them a modest wedding gift. Your parents will probably help you out with the costs. If they do not want to have two ceremonies, they shouldn't have to, as they are the ones getting married. No matter what, the cost will be far more expensive for them than for any individual family member. Not only will they have to throw two weddings and absorb those costs, they will have additional travel costs, not to mention too much time off from work.
2006-11-21 10:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tara P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat others how you would like to be treated. That's how I live my life. If you were in the same situation, would you want your brother attending YOUR overseas wedding?
I think it's a little selfish for him to expect you to pay for a plane ticket round trip as well as a place to stay while you're there and obviously you would probably want to go out and do stuff while you're in a foreign country with new people. All of that is very expensive. If they were willing to help you out (or your parents or anyone attending the wedding) then you should definitely go! He's FAMILY!!! However, if they are unable to help you financially, then you should send a present with your well wishes and tell them you hope to see them when they visit the states.
It's not fair to expect you to spend so much money if you don't have it for the wedding. If it was very important for you to be at the wedding, then they will help you figure out a way to pay for everything.
2006-11-21 10:46:47 · answer #4 · answered by bosnjgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you like to do?
If you want to go, then go. If you don't want to (or can't) spend that much money, then don't go. Tell him your sorry but you really can't afford it right now.
My sister lives in England (we're in Canada) and she's getting married in July. We're all flying there to see her and buying the tickets on our own. We are saving money however because we will be staying with relatives. Why don't you see if you can stay at your brother's place? It would save you a lot of money.
Also, your request for them to have 2 ceremonies is pretty outragious and expensive request as well since they would have to pay for 2 ceremonies and plane tickets. It's a lot less expensive for the whole family to fly to one location.
But, who cares about the newlyweds expenses? Apparently not you....
2006-11-21 10:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully your brother will only get married once. So you should be there. The wedding is in Aus, cause that is where the bride is from and assuming her parents are paying for it. Are they paying for plane tickets too? How about hotel once you get over there. I know it is going to be very expensive, but you need to be there. Talk to your parents, maybe they can help with the ticket if the brides parents are not. You really need to be buying your ticket now though. dont just call airlines. go online and search packages, flights, auctions. Good luck
2006-11-21 10:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by sandymisitano 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they want you guys to be there they should fly you in.
If they are not willing to do so, then a small wedding reception in the US sounds like a great idea. But make sure to still send a gift if you do not attend.
Where do they plan on living after the wedding? Are you going to see him often?
2006-11-21 10:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by Joe Somebody 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I basically agree with you. They should have a small ceremony over there and come back here and have another small ceremony. Unless your family is fixed very well financially it would be almost impossible for one wedding. They cannot expect you or your family to go there unless they are willing to pay all expenses for the entire trip.
2006-11-21 10:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by Patricia H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to ignore ettiquette and do what's right for YOU. If you can't afford to fly to Australia and he's not willing to help you pay for the trip, you are being completely reasonable by not attending. That is a BIG request.
At the same time, if you're able to swing the trip financially (you do have over 6 months to plan ahead), go for it. Australia is an adventure, and you'll be glad you were there for your bro. He'll always remember that you were there for him.
2006-11-21 10:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by psych_donkey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guests go to the wedding; the wedding does not go to the guests.
It would be more outrageous to ask them to plan two weddings, one for everyone else who doesn't have a problem with travelling, and the other one here just for you.
2006-11-21 14:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋