Is life fair? I'm in my 30's, single, no kids, my parents are dead, my only sibling has autism?

Question

Why can't I have a family like everyone else?

I have a positive outlook in life. I just occasionally have those thoughts, especially during the holidays.

Answer 1

I hate to be the bearer of bad news...but there is no guarantee life is "fair". However, it becomes more "unfair" if you sit around whining and griping, instead of trying to improve your circumstances.

For example, the Brady Bunch just doesn't exist. It was a TV show that made people think that families should be like that. However, the reality is, life is tough and to get ahead you have to apply yourself.

Go out there and grab life by the "gotcha's"!

Answer 2

Well first off, recent studies have shown that with today's economy, the average age for children leaving their parents home is almost 29 years old, so it isn't as uncommon as some may think. At the same time, only YOU know your true motives. You say you want to focus on your career and never get married, and if that's truly what you want, what others think should be a non-issue: It's impossible to please everybody, and comparisons are often unwise. Many irresponsible people live on their own...it's not the environment, it's the person that determines maturity. However, don't put yourself in a box and limit yourself at a such a young age...it's ok to have goals, but sometimes no matter how much we plan, there are variables that can create big differences in outcome. Life is about balance and there is a time for everything. You said yourself that you've never been out there as far as dating and relationships go, so try to remain open. You probably won't get married? what does that mean? If you have the desire to, but don't think you're capable or have some other strong objection, you might want to look at that a little closer. Whatever the case, don't expect worst case scenarios because that just opens the door for them to happen. You could meet your wife tomorrow and everything would change in an instant. Yes, you.

Answer 3

God has a plan for you i thought i would never have a baby I waited 11 yrs and a surprise I found out I was preg. But I'm sad too I lost my mom almost 7 yrs ago and all my grand parents are gone and I want them here in the worst way to see my daughter But life isn't over things eventually fall in place and they get better every family isn't perfect. every family has problems or a secret but you can have a great life if you look on the bright side of things I try to tell my self every day it's hard. Life isn't fair but remember God does things for a reason and he tests us everyday. Just think of the positive things in life.

Answer 4

Never has been. Life is what you make of it. I know that sounds like the same old song and dance, but you have to live each day as if it's your last. Smile at people, go for walks and enjoy what's around you, I know sounds funny, but take it in, it may be the last time you ever see something new. It doesn't have to involve taking someone with you, just has to be quite time spent alone seeing what god created. If something awful happens today, say the boss gives you a hard time, use it as a learning experience. Don't get down about it. Hey good luck to ya!

Answer 5

You can get married, have kids, you have a brother. Its not perfect, hes not perfect, but if you are in your 30s then you know that on the fairness scale, you are doing fairly well as you seem to be healthy and in your right mind. We do always think the other guy has it great, but he could be thinking, "I'm in my 30's paralyzed due to an injury, my wife left with the tv repairman and left me with 3 kids under five. My mother moved in and she hates me and keeps asking if I want her to leave the meds close to the bed at night so I can kill myself if I want to. I haven't seen my brother since he shot the postman while he was in a drug induced hallucinatory state. Is life fair?"
To him your life is paradise
To you, if you don't like something, you can still change it.
Thats very fair, its just not easy.
But, it can be done.

Answer 6

what do you mean by a family like everybody else?....
my very best friend her mother was killed in a car accident and her father committed suicide she was raised with adoptive parents who treated her like **** doesnt even know them anymore.... or me have a terrible relationship w/ my mother and never see my father or brothers..... ect ect there are a million -billion different types of familys and different quirks and problems and issues in each family .... stop looking at all the negative aspects and find some good things... if you dont want to be single... find someone....
its so silly when people complain that cant find anyone you CAN make friends and meet new people... and perhaps it will turn into something?.....
and no life is not always fair but you choose to make the most of it or whine and complain.... good luck

Answer 7

I understand how you feel....it is painful but if you decide to overcome the pain you can. I have a child with Autism and I use to feel like you do. Now I thank God for each day and he has grown into a wonderful young man autism or not. Use your energy helping your sibling become all they can be. Join a support group as it does help. Blessings to you!

Answer 8

Life is not fair at times. But there is much to be thankful for. Many people cant stand their family, and do their best to have nothing to do with them. Some find their friends to be their family, others, groups of people with similiar interests.
Family is something you define, and it does not need to entail individuals stemming from the same blood line.

Its harder around this time of year, but try not to let it bring you down...
:-)

Answer 9

I think that you were dealt these circumstances for a reason. You can be strong and positive and think that way or look at other and feel sad. I know that you said that you are positive most of them time but try to keep busy to prevent these thoughts from coming to you too much.

Answer 10

You can, you must be willing to make sacrafice's that may be hard. The first thing is pray to God.

But you only way to be free is you must want a family more than taking care of brother. You will have to put him in a home! If you can't afford that then you should seek state help.