My son lives with my ex husbands (because of court) for the last year - now my son's behavior has changed and he has become a bully and mean (kicking and spitting on people and biting them.
He screams and hit's and calls me names and anyone else that's around and is getting into trouble at school, he is only in kindergarten... But now, he has been in school since August about 4-5 times...
he is a very smart boy and full of energy and very intuned to everything...
What can i do? We are going back to court in January (i want my son back)
2006-11-21 01:38:29 · 6 answers · asked by chrispfamily 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Okay, here's some more...
Since August 2005 - i've been documenting everything i have seen, heard and witness.
We have a ad litem for my son. My son's father isn't um, very respectful towards me and is very mentally straining.
I lost in court last year, due to me living unwed with someone and not having a job that supported my child, but that's what my boyfriend was doing, i got to stay home and spend time with him, took him to daycare, did all the PTA mom could do! (parties and volunteering at school)
His father, doesn't listen to a word i say!
2006-11-21 02:21:52 · update #1
It sounds as if the situation and your son's transition from your home to his fathers may have caused more stress, fear, and mistrust in his life. Children look to their parents to guide, nurture, and protect them. When they come home, they want to know that you are there and that you will continue to be there for them both physically and emotionally. Once they feel that their level of trust in you and safety has been breached, their feelings may manifest in the way they act towards you and others.
Is there any way your child can spend equal time with you and his father? Custody battles are never easy on a child and it is up to you as a parent to do the best possible for the welfare and best interest of your child.
If you fear that your child's father is attributing to his behavior, (tread lightly, but carefully here), you should contact your child's school and obtain his behavior reports and talk with his teachers to see if there has been any significant change or negetive escalation in his behavior while under their supervision. Prepare for the best or worst possible feedback. Just because your son didn't act out last year, doesn't mean that his current situation isn't causing him to act out this year. He is getting older and more sensitive to his feelings, environment, etc. Support him and his needs. Family counseling may also help so that everyone can get to the root of the overall problem at hand.
If your ex is any kind of a father, he will be more than happy to take part in sessions that will benefit everyone in the long run. I have never agreed with sole custody unless the other parent is a detriment to themselves and to their child.
2006-11-21 02:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by ladyshua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can control what happens when son is with you but not much can happen if son at dad's. Don't tolerate the name-calling and hitting - you just reinforce the behaviour. If you have an amicable relationship with the ex, then I suggest talking to him regarding son's behaviour - dad must see the change too. You can also try going to son's school and discussing with teacher - he/she may have more insight. Other than that, there's not much you can do other than wait for court. The dramatic change in your son makes a good case for return of custody although it'll be weighed against the reasons why custody was given to dad for the past year. Do your best to make your home the ideal one for your son and document as best you can all of the concerning behaviours.
2006-11-21 01:51:12 · answer #2 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is still very little....He has been through a lot of emotional changes over the past year....Some of the behavior may be due to stress of the situation and missing you and having his "normal" world turned upside down....If this is the first time he has been with other children his age in a structured environment he may just be adjusting to the changes of that as well....If you are really concerned you can try to talk with his teacher or counselor at the school and see if they have any ideas....The best thing I think you can do is reassure him that you LOVE him very much and tell him what a good boy you know he is and can be.....Children often live up to our expectations...Make sure he know what yours are for him.....Good luck......I can not imagine not having my children with me ALL the time...That must be very hard for you....Keep your chin up!!
2006-11-21 01:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to fight for your son. Something went wrong. He might be acting out because of the custody battle or the separation between you and your ex. It may not be your ex's fault for your son's behaviour. (I'm not saying he may not be at fault either.) At six, your son's words for his emotions are very limited. Be there for him as much as possible. Maybe you need to find someone for your son to talk to so that you can get to the root of what is going on.
2006-11-21 01:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by luvmuzik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u will have to prove in court that ur husband has caused serious personality changes in your child and it will help to let somebody testify that his father's not been able to bring up his boy in a healthy manner. for instance, a teacher at school who might vouch for the change in the kid's behavious along with the time frame when such changes began to happen in him...which must coincide with the last one yr of seperation.
2006-11-21 01:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by thehelper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 08:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋