A question for the ANTI SMACKING BRIGADE?

Question

" when your 12 year told is told to go to his/her room and she says 'no..make me' then what are you gonna do?"

No I do not beat my kids!!!!
I also don't need to smack them , my point is when they were younger a short smack stopped them in their tracks, If I threaten to do something I do it. ergo if i tell me 12 year old if he doesn't go to his room I will smack him he believes me ! But hey guess what?
I can't remember the last time I did.
because now I don't need to. My children do not fear me they respect me.
My children are now 19, 15 and 11 yrs
And i have seen 'none smacking' parents being hit by their little darlings on a regular basis on the childrens ward. Wonder how they will enforce the discipline when they are too old for the 'naughty step' thats all rotfl

This was hypothetical

I say it is hypothetical because I do not have this problem , I wanted answers from people who DON'T smack their kids to tell me what they would do. I asked the question of my 11 year old and she was hysterical laughing, I played the child and she played the non smacking parent and guess what? after she removed everything from my room I said why don't you remove the wallpaper cos I aint going in anyway ..her answer Oh my GOD you are so asking for a smack !!! . I asked if she thought it was abuse and she said no it is about choices, if you choose not to do as you are told with the threat of a smack you are choosing to be smacked

Answer 1

If your child is speaking back to you like that when he/she is 12 years old, it is testimony to the fact that you have not exercised enough discipline on him/her since he/she was born, so you really only have yourself to blame. Because you have failed to discipline the child throughout it's formative years so far, he/she feels able to challenge your authority and that, as far as I am concerned, is totally unacceptable behaviour!

As you seem to be, judging from the tone of your question, I also have no truck with these nambypamby people who spit feathers when they come across another parent smacking their child when it has misbehaved. I was smacked as a child and quickly got to realise that if I seriously misbehaved, that was the fate that awaited me. It taught me very quickly to recognise right from wrong, to have respect for my elders and, contrary to the ludicrous claims from the mollicoddle brigade that it would turn me into a fearful little mouse of an adult, it has turned me into the law abiding citizen I am today.

Your child may be 12 years old but he/she is not too old for a good old-fashioned smacking over his father's knee. But for goodness sake, make sure that it is one which he/she will remember and not want to have repeated. If my child spoke to me in that way, I would have absolutely no compunction. Smacking your child is NOT illegal! No child was ever damaged by being smacked: plenty are being damaged by a lack of discipline in their formative years.

Now these people can castigate me for my views all they like: I don't give a damn. Smacking, when used for the right reasons (i.e. for serious misbehaviour) worked for my parents and their parents before them and so on back through the generations. It has also not turned me into a violent person. I abhor violence totally and will try to avoid it if I possibly can. However, I have a firm belief in the knowledge that when we had corporal punishment in the schools, we didn't have gangs of yobs with no respect for their elders, throwing chairs at teachers or running feral and terrorrising our pensioners in the streets.

The fact that we have this situation nowadays is down to poor parenting: the total lack of discipline being exercised in the home because today's parents were not adequately disciplined by their parents when they were kids. It is clear evidence that the nambypamby mollicoddlers and their ridiculous psychobabble are wrong and it is high time to reinstitute good old-fashioned disciplinary methods within the home and in the schools.

So don't you allow yourself to be put off by these people from disciplining your 12 year old in the way you see fit. You are right: they are wrong!

Answer 2

there is a line between discipline and abuse and i think people need to realize that. a 2 year old wont learn from being batted around like a punching bag. However a 12 year old is old enough to know right from wrong and if NOTHING else works then a good smack on the bottom might get through to them when nothing else will. I was a spanked child and as the mother of a toddler i am learning that time out is a lot more effective than spanking. The only time i smarted off to my mother that way was when i was 13 and told her to 'make me' well she did my mom smacked me across the face and i knew never to talk to her like that again.
But to make my point clear, striking a young child is uncalled for an ineffective but with older children sometimes it will get through to them. but remember there is a line between discipline and abuse and it should never ever be crossed. if you find yourself getting out of control, get another adult to watch your child and walk away until your are calm again

Answer 3

The disenchantment present in on the instant's childrens is largely right down to damaging self-discipline*, yet smacking is an aberrant act that does inspire violence. If a parent can hit a toddler, and that they supposedly love them extra suitable than something interior the international, what form of action does that inspire in direction of human beings they dislike? It sends out a contradictory message approximately in spite of if or no longer violence is suitable and everyone below the age of 15 won't be able to elucidate the complicated psychology of it. If a parent has to motel to smacking then it extremely is probable an indication that they are impatient and irrational. a stable parent perseveres with extra lenient strategies, the toddler learns in time, and mutual admire is outfitted up. Smacking is far too absolute. in spite of the reality that, i would not recommend banning it until some extra extensive study were carried out. *No clean barriers, taught from a youthful age to question all authority.

Answer 4

Nobody has written a book on parenting and we have to make some hard choices. Smacking is not the best option, though should not be ruled out. I have found the best way is to take away favourite items and deny access to computer/phone/TV. This works but only short term. In the long run it is better to try to talk and discuss the reason for the problem in the first place, not as easy as it seems. Good luck, it is never easy.

Answer 5

I dont have anything against smacking but do not do it, my oldest is 18months and understands if he is naughty he goes to the naughty corner but I am sure when he is 12 he will only understand a good smack, and when he gets to 18 and is bigger than me i am sure he will be giving me a good smack, think about it. There are other ways but if you have tried them and smacking is the only option do what you have to as long as it is within the law, there is a line which must not be crossed, the slipper often tanned my backside as a cjhild and i hated it but that i the reason i do not smack.

Answer 6

Hitting your children teaches them that being bigger and stronger gets you what you want. You in fact enforce the idea that being a bully is the way to go.

You don't "make" them do anything. You offer them a choice - they either follow what you suggest and have good consequences, or don't follow what you suggest and have bad ones. The more they choose badly, the worse the consequences. Its very simple and no different to what we as adults have to deal with. We can choose to contribute to and earn our way in society or choose not to and deal with the result of that. The better we teach this to our kids, the more successful they'll become.

Answer 7

I totally understand wehre you are coming from. Children these days are out of hand and its mainly becuase the parents are too lax. My newphew is totally out of control. He beats my sister to no end. He rips her glasses off and gives her black eyes. Punches her kicks her. Never listens and thrrows tantrums. He is eight years old. I tell her "What do you think he is going to be like when he is 13? 15? 18?" She just shrugs it off and blames it on a mood disorder. When that boy is with me he never acts out like that. Mood Disorder?? Yeah right!

I think parents give excuses for their children and then they are expected to misbehave ( ADD, ADHD, Bipolar) . We were both smaked a few times a kids and we were both respectful and disciplined. We werent beaten but if we talked back to our mother we were slapped in the mouth. and trust me that only had to happen once or twice. Just because we were smacked a couple times doesnt mean we didnt grow up in a loving caring environment.

i think some kids need a good spanking. some parents make too many exucses.

Answer 8

WOW, I don't have a 12 year old yet, I DOUBT my girls would try something like that with myself or dad. Why, because if they did, like you and maybe a little more, they'd find their hiney's bared and dangling over my lap getting a good long spanking. 12 to me is still a child, and will be spanked when necessary, but it's right up their when I'd like to start advancing them into pre-adulthood (teen years) meaning I'd hope to not be giving them childlike punishments such as spanking. However in your example, they'd be getting spanked no questions asked. The only age i probably say for sure I wouldn't spank is high school years.

Answer 9

Smacking should be allowed. Thats why this country is going the way it is because there is no discipline.
No one is saying abuse your children just a soft smack treats them manners! There then wouldn't be all the ASBO orders and spongers!!

Answer 10

a 12 year old can understand right from wrong... so they shouldn't have to be smacked... however I am totally for smacking!!

Speak to them as an adult (even if they don't deserve it) and you might get somewhere.... though there is no guarantee with this!! I was a good kid :-P