Is it easier to Leave or Be Left?

Question

I personally, have been left for years at a time, with USMC bootcamp, MOS, two-years in Japan, and a deployment to Iraq.
It's a big question to ask, but here's an article that gave me some perspective. Thanks for all your answers! Semper fi!

http://www.military.com/spouse/fs/0,,fs_Crooks_111606,00.html?ESRC=family.nl

Answer 1

Having been in for 20 years and deployed many times, I can honsetly say that it has to be harder to be left !! While I was deployed I usualy was kept occupied on the mission at hand, worrying about my soldiers etc... My wife on the other hand though had to keep our Household running, all the bills had to be paid, the kids school and after school activities needed to be met (Taken to and from, all the practices, all the games) etc... Our household still had to run and she was the one who did it and she had to do it alone most of the times. Yes the FRG was there to assist and the friends were there to assist also but it was all on her shoulders to keep our household up and running. I have always said that the role of the Military Spouse has never been properly addressed. A Good Military Spouse is a rare gem and one that needs to be kept and appreciated (Something that Military Members need to keep in mind). I thank God for my wife who dealt with the military during our service and all of the deployments.

The Military Spouse

When the good Lord was creating military spouses, He was into His sixth day of overtime.
An Angel appeared and said, "You're having a lot of trouble on this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"
The Lord replied, "Have you ever seen the regulations? It has to be completely independent, must be sponsored to get on base, have the qualities of both mother and father during deployments; Be a perfect hostess to four or 40, handle emergencies without military orders, cope with the flu and move around the world, have a kiss that cures anything from a child's torn valentine to a soldier's weary day, have the patience of a saint when waiting for the unit to return stateside, and have six pairs of soft hands."
The Angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands? No way!"
And the Lord answered, "Don't worry. We'll make other military spouses to help. Besides, it's not the hands that are causing the problem - it's the heart. It must swell with pride, sustain the ache of separation, beat soundly when it's too tired to do so, be large enough to say 'I understand' when it doesn't, and say 'I love you,' regardless."
"Lord," said the Angel, touching his sleeve gently, "go to bed. You can finish that tomorrow."
"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm too close to creating something unique. Already I have one who can heal itself when sick, feed unexpected guests who are stuck in the area due to bad weather, and wave goodbye to its spouse from a pier or runway and understand it's important to the country that the spouse leave."
The Angel circled the model of the military spouse very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.
"But tough," the Lord said excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this being can do or endure!"
"Can it think?" the Angel asked.
"Can it think? It can convert 1400 to 2 p.m.!" the Lord said.
Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."
"What's it for?" asked the Angel.
"It's for joy, sadness, pain, loneliness and pride," the Lord said.
"You're a genius," said the Angel.
The Lord looked somber and said, "I didn't put it there."
~Author Unknown

Answer 2

To be honest it's all about duty on both fronts. A person who seeks to have a loving partner is not strong without the support of that partner. To be there and be strong for them while they are gone is just as much an emotional battle as it is for them to leave you and head into battle or training. In battle they can't be weakened by doubt in their personal life if so their mind won't be where it needs to be and that greatly increases the chances of them not coming home. So it is not easier on either side of the story, for both of you are fighting your own part of the battle.

Answer 3

Either way it's difficult isn't it? I too have been left for long periods of time. We are stronger for it though aren't we!
Semper fi back at you.
Once a military wife, always a military wife......

Answer 4

I thank you for supporting your Marine. The Corp needs as many good Marine wives as it needs Marines. Thank you for your sacrafice to our country. I also once served my country as a US Marine and a good woman at home was what brought me back. Calls and letters gives a man something to fight for.