My fiance invited a "friend" to be in our wedding. She went to dress shops with me and helped pick out a dress. She palled around with me and was going to be one of my bride's maids. Keep in mind that there are many pictures taken at weddings (she would be in a lot of them) I later found out that they had a fling b4 I came into the picture. But however when the fling took place she was not single like he was. She is a married woman and she cheated on her husband while he was having surgery! They both kept this secret from me and when I found out about it I was very angry because if I had not found out, we would have gotten married and she would be in all those wedding pictures which are not cheap. I was so upset that I called off the wedding... but however I'm still with him. What would you do if you were in a situation like this????
2006-11-20 23:55:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
kill him!
lol.
seriously tho i would be very upset for that. i mean that's kinda really important to know. the fact that she was that involved with your wedding amazes me!! first off why did he want her so involved?!?
id diffidently put the wedding on hold until you both talk this out. if you dont want her involved that's you right! he should understand that after all he'd be upset if you invited one of your exs and pretty much forced him upon involvement with your hubby.
2006-11-21 05:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by lusciousevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he know she was married when he had this fling? If so, he doesn't think much of wedding vows in general. How do you know he would take yours seriously?
If he didn't know she was married, and she lied to him, that's different. He didn't know you yet.
So which ever it was, why on earth is he still having contact with this married woman, and why would he want her in your wedding? Sounds funny to me, and I think you have some serious thinking to do about whether you should ever marry this guy. If he kept this a secret from you, what else has he maybe not told you?
If you do decide to marry him at some point, choose your own bridesmaids! They should be women you are close to. He should never have asked her in the first place.
2006-11-21 00:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay I think the big issue is not having her in or not in the wedding, its having a wedding at all.... why are you so upset with her, when your fiance lied to you or kept this a secret from you for how long???? I think that is pretty messed up... so of course if you do end up getting married, KICK her out of the wedding, she is no friend and she lied to you... but you have to remember that your fiance is NO angel in this situation either... this whole situation sucks and I am so sorry!!!! Grrr I hate past relationships/. Good Luck, but I would suggest you taking with your bf and seeing if you really want to be with him, TRUST is a huge thing in a relationship. GL
2006-11-21 03:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I have decided that we would pick our attendents ourselves, that way no ex-girlfriends or thrid cousins twice removed or people that I don't really know or even care about take a place on my side and vice versa. I have 4 sisters and 6 brothers, and we are planning a small wedding, so we actually sat down and discussed it so that he doesn't feel obligated to include my brothers, nor do I feel obligated to include his 2 sisters. Talk to your fiance about it, and tell him how uncomfortable his dishonesty was. And yes, this situation occured before you were together, but when he wanted her to play a part in your wedding, then he should have been straightforward with you and let you know the relationship that previously existed between them. Let him know it's upsetting and it breaks the trust between you when he keeps something like this to himself.
2006-11-21 00:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by stacijo531 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least at one point of his life, marriage vows meant very little to him as he was willing to mess with someone elses wife. People do change and mature - but the fact that he didn't come clean about it makes we wonder if he is really ready for marriage. I would postpone the wedding for a while, and get some councilling as a couple - and kcik her out of the wedding party! The fact that she is even still involved as a friend with this guy is wrong. If she intends to stay with her husband, she shoudl have cut all ties withyour fiance already.
2006-11-21 02:41:15 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you weren't in the picture, then why are you getting so bent out of shape?? He was the single one, not her...he wasn't at fault. If he hasn't given you any reason to be suspicious of his actions, then why start now. She is the one who was in the wrong and she chose to live her life the way she did. If you didn't want her in the bridal party, you should have just told her she was out...why call off the wedding and put yourself through the stress.
Now, if they had a fling while he was dating you, then there would be a problem...but, really now. It was another time in his life and he seems to be over it! It isn't uncommon to stay friends with ex-lovers. Just because they had something in the past, that doesn't mean it is still there...
2006-11-21 01:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why would you have let him pick a bridesmaid? The only case that would have been appropriate was if she were his sister, then it would be understandable to have her as part of the wedding party.
2006-11-21 05:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have just put my foot down and said she will not be in the wedding or be a guest at the wedding.
2006-11-21 02:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure this is in undesirable flavor and it is likewise in undesirable flavor to proceed a friendship with this loser. If I have been your fiance and found out i might get rid of without delay. You made a mistake in being with a married guy and additionally you ought to study from that yet you of course have not. you could desire to decrease all ties with him in case you rather love your fiance. the certainty that he nonetheless needs a dating with you and continues to be married and additionally you're engaged and nonetheless talking to him makes me think of you're no longer waiting to be married.
2016-10-17 07:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard situation...you love him and could or don't want to picture him with anyone else...how nice would it be if we could erase our lovers past so that we are there first and only!! i would love that myself...keep in mind girl you won the price...think of it like he had to do something with his time until fate brought you two together!! congrats by the way!
2006-11-21 00:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋