Shortest I can make it. We love each other. We know it. We've shown it. But she's afraid to move on b/c of something MAJOR in her past that is stuck between us right now. (I think I know what happened but not 100% sure) Now the more we hang out, the more...torn (?) she becomes b/c it's like she wants to get past it but she isn't ready to give up this wall she has up yet and I am the reminder it is there. So what do I do? I have seen the woman I love, and still do occasionally, but often I see this other side of her, which is fun and outgoing but unwilling to commit to anything at all in any area of her life (friends, family, me). I want to be there for her and always will be b/c we are great for each other, but how far can I go? I don't want to fall back into friend zone, I don't want a sex buddy, either, and I certainly don't want to push her away nor do I want to let her get too far away. Anyone else at a loss? Thought I'd also say she is worth every ounce of energy I have in me.
2006-11-20 23:52:13 · 8 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Then be there for her, carry on doing what your doing.. Its hard and it will only get harder but have to show her your willing to put the effort in you could be the best thing that will eva happen to this girl. Stick at it. Show her you are there for her when eva where eva what eva the reason. As long as she feels comfortable around you and she feels she can talk to u it will be fine. The only thing you two should both do is promise to be honest with each through and about everything break it and you'll lose everythign keep it and she will come round.
What eva has happened in her past it sounds like its going to be really ahrd for her to get ova this but she will it may take days weeks months probably years and even if u two do get together dont expect it not to crop up every now and then cos it will.
My advice is do nothign stick at it your working towards it you just need to give her time but keep going it sounds like your doing a good job of it at the moment keep going...
2006-11-20 23:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by Zoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
affirm your love and committment to her and in the meantime, don't push. Find a third party mediator, a pastor, a counsellor, a female professional who will let her spill the beans and move on with you. She is probably so afraid her secret will drive you away that she needs the other outlet. When you have found someone on your own, suggest that she confide in that person and let hr know that you will never learn of it, unless she decides at some future date. Give her the out tactfully and let her know you are doing this because of your love. She might well take the offering and love you even more if she learns that she must rid herself of this and that your relationship does not depend on whether you know or not.
2006-11-21 00:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by The walker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly you need to talk to her about it, ask her what happened and if there is any way you can help her. If she says no then you have to back off the subject. But you have to let her know that you love her and want to be with her and that shes the one you want to be with show her you care about her do little things for her. In time she will she what a wonderful guy she has and she will come to you. But you have to be there for her. I went threw something close to this but like her I was the one putting the wall up because of something that happened in my past it took time and a good guy to help me threw it. But she will come around.
2006-11-21 00:00:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw thats so nice to get opinions from all the ladies. My first time I regret it so much. My exes dumb idea was too get me drunk. I didn't want too but he insisted. I was too drunk to even know what was going on. Bad first time experience for sure! That was on a 4th of July every 4th thats all I can think of! I wish that the guy I am with right now was my "first" time because he is so sweet and nice. Good luck, just be yourself don't worry about it, plan or think about it too much or it won't be any fun! Use protection though unless your trying to have a baby.
2016-03-29 04:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs therapy or you both need couples counseling. Suggest that to her. If she really loves you she would be willing to get the help she (and you both) need. Otherwise you might be spinning your wheels for a very long time.
2006-11-20 23:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by party_pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if she will go to counseling with you. If she wants a future with you she needs to get over the past.
2006-11-20 23:55:26 · answer #6 · answered by staydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like you need to get a life.She is obviously A crazy B**ch.get rid of her,If she loved you like you thought she did,she will wake up,and apologize for treating you Bad.!
2006-11-21 00:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by redshadow_666 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fix it if you can,if not get over it.If you aren't happy she won't be either.
2006-11-20 23:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋