okay basic break-up advice. I have been with this guy for a one and a half years. We rent a house together. He is quite a bit older than me to. Well he really loves me but I do not. I care about him but that is about it. He wants to get married and have kids but i do not. There is a lot underlying the situation that I can't get into much detail but in the end I feel really guilty and have stayed with him the past few months because of that. We do rent a house together and have two dogs. The majority of my furniture is in the house. I want to break up with him because it is not fair for him or me when he does have a chance finding someone who will love him the way he wants. I also want to do it like right now but also do not because of the holidays just around the corner. Any advice on this situation. Thanks
2006-11-20 23:45:32 · 16 answers · asked by dmwilson91 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with the answer above. If you put up w/ it this long, at least wait through the holidays, see what happens, and if nothing changes, wee, you've both got some New Year's resolutions for yourself.
2006-11-20 23:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you talk to him, I would say that you'd need to figure out what type of living arrangements you'd be going into after the break-up. Would you two be living in the same house and separate bedrooms? Would you move? Would you expect him to move? or would the both of you move?
Then I would say that you should sit him down, face to face and have a talk with him. Explain all the things to him that you have explained to us. Tell him that you still care about him as a person, but that you don't feel that this relationship is right.
Don't worry about the holidays - if you drag a relationship that you aren't interested in through the holidays, it WILL show.
hope this helps
2006-11-20 23:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Mister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definately time to end the relationship if that's the only option available. But perhaps you should take the whole scenario into perspective...look inside yourself to see why you don't love him. If, when you find the reason, the issue is irreconcilable, then you need to explain this to him and break it off. It can take a lot of courage to end such a comfortable relationship. But you are right in the sense that it is not fair for the both of you to continue to live like this...at least you have the wisdom to see both sides of the plate, which is one thing so many people lack.
"When the love is gone, it's time to move on."
2006-11-21 00:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Nodtveidt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's he doing that makes him sleep so late in the day? Is he staying up most the the night partying with his friends? Playing video games? These can be signs of immaturity or a possible lack of concern with your well being. If he's sleeping so late it interferes with plans the two of have made he's more concerned with himself than you. Give him a firm deadline to get his act together. If he's worth keeping he'll change his selfishness and be the person you need and deserve. If now leave him and don't look back. If it stays the same as it is now things will only be worse down the road.
2016-05-22 05:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no good time to end a relationship so don't use the holidays as an excuse. Your feelings are what are important and the longer you delay the more you cheat yourself. He has to look after himself and he will survive. Be honest with him, talk without make-up sex, clear your guilt and move on. You are not his possession and you have to be live for yourself. When the lights go out only one person will help you and that is you so start now and stop letting other people run your life...
2006-11-20 23:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by The walker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes thing like this happen. We want to be in love, and try, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. Please don't ruin the holidays for him. Wait till after, no matter how much you want this to end. Let him have some nice memories before you go. and speaking of going, do you have a place to go? If your breaking up with him..... you have to move out, not him. But you two can talk that over after the holidays.
2006-11-20 23:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Judith O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell him how you really feel about him and i know hes going to get heartbroken big time. You are worried about the house because of the money. its better to tell him after holidays
but you should always go for the guys who loves u because you will get everything what you need. To be honest this guy is crazy about you coz hes got everything what he wants in life. so breaking him up will lose everythin. JUS THINK ABOUT IT b4 breaking him up maybe coz u will never find a guy who loves u more than he does.
2006-11-21 00:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by AnGeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up with him I did that with my ex he had a lot coming up and I just ended up hurting him more I was ready to break up with him in Feb and I didn't do it till June, he had his birthday, his prom, and graduation, well it hurt him so much more in the end but I didn't want to ruin those days for him but they weren't good for him so you just have to break up with him and let him move on and you have to tell him how your feeling that you don't love him the same way he loves you, that you don't want to get married and have kids and whatever else you don't agree on but let him know you do care about him and that the right girl is out there for him.
2006-11-20 23:53:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until after the holidays are over. I think it would be hard for both of you at this time of year.
Perhaps the holidays will give you a change of heart? It could be that the relationship is just stale.
2006-11-20 23:49:56 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you do not want to be with this man, he should have been the second person to know it. There is no need to wait because of the holiday season to break it off - he is going to be hurt no matter when you tell him. BE honest and let him know how you feel NOW!
2006-11-20 23:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋