I had been dating this girl, 29 y.o. for about 3 weeks. We hung out about 5 times. Things went 'all the way' after the 3rd time. Things seemed to be ok between us, except we hadn't really talked about our outside dating lives much. I wasn't sure if she was seeing anyone else or not. I wasn't/ am not seeing anyone else yet. Anyway, the Sunday before last, we texted a little, and I jokingly, and with a smiley face in the text called her a player. She responded 'I'm not a player. wtf?'. I texted back and said I meant nothing by it, and told her she seemed a little sensitive. Did I possibly touch a nerve? I haven't heard from her now since last Sunday. It's been almost 10 days. I've tried to contact her several times, and have heard nothing in response. I admit, I was a little turned off when she drunkenly traded clothes with a guy friend in the bathroom the last time we hung out! I was trying to play it cool and not be upset. Was I wrong to call her a player?
2006-11-20 23:40:12 · 9 answers · asked by mu 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like there's a part of you that's judging her, and she's picked up on it and doesn't like being judged.
It probably wasn't just the text by itself that has caused her to go quiet. Could be that she'd also been picking up on other subtle things (like your being turned off by the clothes trading) and various little remarks & expressions.
Or maybe she's just been busy. Why don't you ask her what's wrong? By voicemail, if you can't reach her.
2006-11-20 23:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by liz_in_adam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be a subject she's a little sensitive on. Since you don't know about her dating history, it could be one of many things...maybe she really IS a player and was busted for it, maybe someone in her past that she loved accused her of cheating and left her even though she was innocent, etc. There are a million possibilities. Whatever the reason though, one important fact to remember is that you did it in jest (hence the smiley) and stated your intent afterwards. If she had true interest in you, she'd be able to understand and accept that you made an error out of ignorance of the situation, and perhaps she could explain the reasoning behind her sensitivity. But honestly...from my own experience, it sounds like she really IS a player and is either not happy about it, or doesn't want it to be discovered...by telling her straight-up that this is how it is, perhaps you've scared her off. End result: forget about her, move on.
2006-11-21 07:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Nodtveidt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she's acting guilty. 10 days? Then buddy its either you messed up for the good or for the bad. I called my ex a player and our relationship went downhill from there, weeks later I found out she was a lil slut. I saw pics. in her cellfone that's too explicit to explain with some other guy doing the do. I'm not saying it'll exactly happen to you also. I honestly think its not a big deal if you call someone a player. Maybe she's on a trip or upset because she's been so faithful to you but you go out making a joke. Check all sides bro, what I said will make sense.
2006-11-21 07:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by flipmode 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's a player? Is it an Americanism? Never heard of it. If it's what I think it is, we call em slappers in UK.....easy, loose etc. And from what you say about this girl, it sounds like a pretty accurate description to me. Don't lose any sleep over her.
2006-11-21 07:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you suggested, she sounds VERy sensitive and I wouldn't want to be bothered because you will have to continually stroke her nerves and watch what you said. I mean really...you we're joking. She sounds like too much work - if your still interested in her I would say continue to try to contact her BUT it doesnt seem like she is interested in you so I suggest you move on.
2006-11-21 07:45:12 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trading clothes w/ a guy?? Drunk or not that IS a big turn off and should be a BIG red flag for you... I would move on and forget her!! Who needs someone who can't take a joke too?? You deserve better!
2006-11-21 07:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really hit close to home.You might be much better off.Hope your not allergic to penicillin if she comes back
2006-11-21 07:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you werent wrong little comedies are part of relations if one is toooooo sensitive it will be very hard to cope up.
2006-11-21 07:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jassi S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooooooooooooooooh my dear, i will say u have really tounch her nerves, it wrong for u to call her player although you are joking but to tell u some jokes are expensive. i will be happy if you apologise to her.
2006-11-21 07:49:35 · answer #9 · answered by sweet girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋