Guys with girlfriends.... help i cheated!?

Question

my guy and i have been going out for 5 years and having been living together for 4. i don't have other close male friends and therefore am always hanging out with his male friends. over the weekend i kissed his best friend! it would kill him if he knew. i have never done anything like this. what would be the best way to tell him, or should i rather not? Thanks

Answer 1

Here's my definition of cheating:

If it's something that you would do to/with a family member (barring incest) then it isn't cheating. If it's something that you WOULDN'T do to/with a family member, then it is.

Either way, in a situation like this, you will have to judge. We don't know how your boyfriend is. Is he an angry man or understanding? How close is he to his friend? Who initiated the kiss between you and the friend?

If he's an angry man who is very close to his friend, then chances are that he'll blame everything on you, and telling him could be the beginning of the end for the two of you, simply because if he'd blame everything on you, then he'd probably also believe that more went on than just a kiss.

If he's the understanding type, then he may listen to you and forgive you, but he'd probably also NEVER trust you around ANY of his friends ever again, simply because everytime you are, he'll think about the possibility of it happening again, and going even further.

Either way, my advice would be to never tell him (you're not lying, you're witholding information) and if he ever finds out, tell him truthfully that you kept it from him from fear of losing him.

Hope this helps

Answer 2

You have lived with him for 4 years, in your heart you know the correct answer to this question.

But for my opinion you should tell him, chances are his friend will if you don't! It better come from you before it comems from his friend. The better question is to search your heart and see why did you kiss his best friend, don't give yourself excuses, search for the truth. Cheating is not usually the problem in a relationship, cheating is usually a product of the problem in the relationship. So, what is going on with you two that caused you to act out this way?

Answer 3

Kissing another man is not "cheating" per se. Where I live, kissing people of the opposite sex is a perfectly acceptable method of greeting. Anyways, if your relationship is stable, then it isn't a problem to begin with, but if your relationship is unstable, then maybe it's time to move on anyways. However, you've not made reference to whether or not you or your boyfriend are happy or not, whether you have any kinds of problems, or even the reason WHY you kissed his best friend. So it's not really easy to give a straight answer when there's no straight question.

Answer 4

You and his best friend need to cover both your backs!! Make sure that you speak to eachother and promise to never utter a single word about your kiss.

There are all kinds of cliches about this "Honesty is the best policy" etc but I rather abide by "What they don't know can't hurt them". Put things into perspective, it may hurt him to find out but it was only a kiss.........not full sex. It's his ego that will hurt plus he will see the betrayal by two people close to him. Chances are that it will never happen again and for the common good, I would refrain from ever talking/acting on or about it ever again.

Answer 5

This is so common we all do do it god knows why but it happens...
Tell him..
Tell him exactly how you feel about it...
If you dont and he finds out it wont be the fact that you did it he'll be more upset u lied/didnt tell him...
You could easily get away with it but you will ahve it in the back of your mind for ages and its not like you had sex you simply kissed thats it nothign major just a kiss..
He is going to get mad and be confused and hurt and all of those things but let him dont you get mad at him for it...
He'll be like this cos he cares...
The thing is if you tell his mate it could look like set up talking behind his back but then agian u shud warn him i guess u could tell him togther but that mite look sus too depends on ur guys personality etc as to how well he will take it everyone is different i would tell him id also tell his mate that im going to tell him...
Everythign will be fine just get the weight off your shoulders and tell him

Answer 6

Well you could tell him the truth, but I did that once and it killed our relationship then he did even more and now we don't trust eachother and were not together. You could talk to his friend about it and see what he thinks but when you are with his friend you can't act all weird and whatnot because he will know something is up. So you eaither have to tell him or forget it happened. It really just depends on the guy. Good Luck

Answer 7

telling him at this point is optional but wouldn't he rather find out from you than his friend. Besides, it is just a kiss...unless you left something out. Its not like you had sex with him. If your boy is really in love with you he will work through it. And next time control yourself.

Answer 8

That's not really cheating, but you should tell him for 2 reasons.

1) It's your obligation to tell him because this 'best friend" isn't so great since he would go after his friend's girl. You should expose this dastardly friend.

2) You need to tell him this because you won't catch too much heat, it will exonerate you in his eyes, as the focus will be on the bastard friend.

Answer 9

i think it would be best for you to tell him before his best friend does. it would be a whol lot better from you than someone else , and plus it isnt good to keep secrets the truth will come out soon

Answer 10

tell him. be honest. but also explain that he's the only one you love. but anyway, why did you kiss his best friend? did you like him? if that's the reason, make up your mind if you truly love your boyfriend then ask for his forgiveness. but most importantly, be truthful.