i have a boyfriend. he's now asking me to marry him. he's 36 and i'm 23. i really love him. but i think i am not yet ready to marry him..it's not that im not sure of him.he's financially stable.it's just that i have many priorities in life..i think i'm too young to get married. do you think guys it's unfair to him?
2006-11-20 23:32:01 · 28 answers · asked by yipee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
fyi: he's my boss. we both working in a bank. actually he's my mentor when i am new in our work. our officemates always tease us..now we are 1 year steady.
2006-11-20 23:47:17 · update #1
I think you need to get over yourself. You can still get married and do the things you want to do. But make sure you are being fair to him. Figure out what priority is first and make sure he knows it and if he is truly worth your time and hand in marriage he will help you keep that priority at the top. What is important to you is important to him...that kind of thing.
2006-11-20 23:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by sethro722000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you aren't ready yet...you aren't ready yet. Good for you for asking yourself the important questions. Please don't worry about whether or not it is fair to him...it wouldn't be fair if you married him when you weren't ready!
And just my last 2 cents...I think 23 is FAR TOO YOUNG to be married. Your priorities and who you are today will be very different in another 10 years. The reason that there are so many divorces is that people change over the years...better to marry after you've made most of your changes, and then you are able to commit for a lifetime.
2006-11-21 08:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hurt him, but your main priority is YOU right now. If you're not ready to be married then you're not ready. Tell him how you feel and if it's real love, he'll wait. It would not be fair to you to get married just because this guy wants to. Go ahead...attend to your priorities. Finish college, get a great career, travel...do the things that are important to you and you'll be happier in the long run. Getting married under pressure is the best way I know to ensure the relationship will not last. Good luck sweetie!
2006-11-21 07:42:24 · answer #3 · answered by Maggie W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should say yes. why ? look around you is there any men boys 23 years old would give you what he would. I doubt it. my husband is 19 years older and I am as happy as I can be been married for 5 years. when i was your age I had my baby. before you walk down the Alley write down what do want from life and show it to him and i bet you he will support you on every dream that you have in your heart. a young 23 man they good for 6 month fling if you want that.there is nothing that has more priories than real love. everything comes afterwords
2006-11-21 08:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not unfair to him. But you need to sit him down and explain that you love him and want to be with him but at this moment in time you are not ready to get married. Tell him that may in 4 - 5 years maybe but not right now. If you explain to him the reason why you feel the way you do hopefully he will understand
2006-11-21 07:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not at all unfair, while his life goes into middle age, he has to realize you have a lot of life to live before you are ready to settle down and you should do that. Take time to know him really well to the point that if you have a child with him and he tires of that scenario, he won't go looking for someone else, younger and freer. If he is serious and loves you then he will wait until you are ready. Marriage guarantees absolutely nothing...muster up your elf esteem and take the time and settle for nothing less than what is best for you and only you...
2006-11-21 07:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by The walker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds Like A Good Guy.....If Anything If u Love Him u Should Get Engaged And Wait To Get Married...I Mean Jus Becasue He Proposes Dont mean U GottA Get married Right Away
2006-11-21 07:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by RONNIE E 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should just simply explain to him that you care very deeply for him, but you would feel better if you two waited a bit before getting married, or offer up a compromise. Try a long engagement with him and decide from there whether you're ready to tie the knot with him after that.
2006-11-21 08:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by homeiggyred 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were in your shoes, i would tell him that you really love him and want to stay with him, but you're just not ready for marriage right now. tell him that you feel you are too young and not ready to make that kind of commitment. however, tell him that marriage with him is not out of the question in the future. if you do, he might seek someone else. if he's 36, he's getting more mellow and probably looking for someone to settle down with, but he's forgetting what it's like to be 23. not many men want to marry so young either.
2006-11-21 07:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by locksmithite 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could have a long engagement, if you are both committed to the relationship that would show the depth of your commitment, just ask him to wait a while before setting a date. If you are not ready then don't get married, it is not a secure foundation to base a marriage on.
2006-11-21 08:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋