He lives 2.5 hrs away,he does not leave me the cute messages anymore very rarely calls but acts excited to hear my voice.I am only allowed to see him on my weekends off.Which is every other one.I know he is not seeing anyone as of yet.He says I am more advanced in the relationship then he isBUT.Before he bought the house he use to tell me he loved me,he has not said that since he bought the house.He is 49 and I am 51,could he be having a mid-lice crisis?The sex is still AWESOME he acts fine when I am there when I leave this is when he changes to Mr Cold.
Please Help Me I Love This Man
Lost and Confused
2006-11-20 23:07:49 · 4 answers · asked by Ftprintz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The #1 issue in any relationship is communication (well, #1 after a great sex life! which it seems you still have with this man). When communication breaks down, the relationship breaks down. With this in mind, you need to talk with him about these issues and see what the problem is. A mid-life crisis is very much a possibility...such a large change in one's life can leave them feeling like the future's uncertain or perhaps the change changed things seemingly unrelated. Whatever the case may be, talk to him, understand his point of view and try to figure out the root of the problem. One thing that so many people in this day and age forget is that ALL people, not just women, can have emotional problems that need to be understood by their significant other. So keep those lines of communication open!
2006-11-20 23:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by Nodtveidt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you're ready for a commitment and he isn't. He may have even previously thought that he was ready and then realized that he isn't. I base this opinion on the following:
You give the impression that he use to be very responsive to you but is no longer responsive.
He use to profess his love to you, but he doesn't do that anymore.
He has bought a house, which can be a life-changing event. (Many people have sudden, or gradual, realizations about themselves and their lives when they go through huge changes in their lives/lifestyles.
I could be wrong. After all, I'm just basing my opinion on the information you gave. Whatever the case, he obviously doesn't feel the same way about the relationship as you do.
You'll need to make a few decisions... First, decide exactly what you want (if you don't already know). And then decide if you're willing to settle for less than what you want. I don't think it's ever a good thing to settle for a partner who doesn't feel the same as you about your relationship, so I advise against it. If you're NOT willing to settle, you have two choices...
#1) You can choose to give it some time and see if his feelings and attitude progress to a point that you are willing to accept (and perhaps have a talk with him to explain how you feel), or
#2) You could just throw in the towel.
Whatever you decide, GOOD LUCK! I hope things work out for you!
2006-11-21 07:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by SINDY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're being to available to this Man---why isn't he visiting you and contacting you---AT 51 didn't your MAMA teach you to let the MAN be the pursuer---You're being the clingy vine---and the MAN at this point at his age of 49 doesn't want to committ----to you if he did he would've done it a long time ago---
I would advise you to chill out this relationship---Make the man go wanting---Set him Free like Willy-----If there is truly a relationship he will be contacting you and begging you to let him come and visit you.
The key words that strike me as odd is---what you wrote above, " I AM ONLY ALLOWED TO SEE HIM ON MY WEEKENDS OFF". hmmmm Why is that? How do you know that on those everyother weekends you're not there he isn't doing the nasty with someone else?
He lives 2 1/2 hours away---so you don't know what this dude is doing for sure. I would suggest my dear lady of 51 wake up and smell the stale coffee for ROSES you'll not be smelling today!!
You had best go to the nearest clinic too and have yourself tested for STD's, and HIV/AIDS----You don't know whom this man is zzzzzz with and you had better do that soon---I'm almost positive you're not doing the condom thing !!!!!!
You don't really LOVE this man-----You just think you do!
You're lost and confused you say but I don't think you really are-----I think down deep at the age of 51 that you say you are you know what the right thing to do is.....
Start thinking with the brain that GOD gave you and start using it to get your life and yourself back on track----
At 51 you should be enjoying life and not doing this juvenile school girl crush thing. Quit being so obsessive about this man and move on....
2006-11-21 07:20:02 · answer #3 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly no one I know has their own personal time to waste on other peoples games, let alone want to have feelings for a person while they are playing games, approach him with this and tell him exactly everything you have told us here and ask him what is up and that if he doesn't have a reasonable explanation that you have got better things to do with you time then wait for him to figure out what he wants, at least that is what I would do if I were in your shoes
2006-11-21 07:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋