i do favors for my coworkers whenever they ask, but when i want one they always come up with an excuse not to help me out. i don't want to complain because i don't want to come off as a whiny little brat, but at the same time, it pisses me off. what would you do?
2006-11-20 22:25:45 · 27 answers · asked by Mabel 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
people is like that all the time
:> peace
.
2006-11-24 17:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the problem, everyone thinks u don't mind doing extra work, extra task. They are walking all over you. Why not complain? Your not being whiny unless you perceive yourself as such.
When you ask "XYZ I need to ask your help in ....... When they refuse, Say come on, I've help you lots of times... and bring up an example. I really need your help... if they won't help you then they aren't friends no coworkers. Start developing new friends and new workers to join for lunch and activities.
2006-11-21 00:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing favors for them , unless of course those favors in some way help you . Use the same excuses they use . If they try to explain why they told you they couldn't help you after hearing your answer just smile politely and tell them you've got the same problem . Don't be like them however if they really need help , and you have the time and ability ,give them help . Just tell them "you owe me one" that should help .
2006-11-20 22:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by Ray H 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry sooner or later you will receive many back. Do the same sometimes and they will realize that you are a useful person and that they have to do their part. Be more helpful with those which help you. The others are the ones which have something to loose. That is assuming you have the right perspective of what is happening. Do like the politicians, keep those that are with you and the others will join.
2006-11-20 23:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't "buy" favors by granting favors. Our expectations of others often put us in the condition you are in, which is resentful.
When you do a favor, it is just that, a favor, not a payment to the favor bank to be withdrawn when you need a favor.
A bit of assertiveness is in order. "Mary, I'd really love to help you this time, but I just can't I'm sure you understand." OR. "Mary, I have helped you a number of times, and I wish I could this time, but when I help you, my own work suffers, Thanks for understanding."
Good luck.
Peace.
2006-11-20 22:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep on being Kind, yes it may hurt when a favor is ask and not returned, but I believe Kindness is the way to live your life.
2006-11-21 00:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to my world hon, happens to me all the time......I also always tell myself that i wont do things for people anymore either....but that doesnt work either, as i always end up doing so, because that is just me....im that kind of person......
So you can either choose to continue on the way you are, and do what you do because you can and like to help others, and maybe someday, someone will do right by you. Or you can give up and become like everyone else.....your choice, at least being as you are, you are one of very few people left in the world willing to do so, thats something to feel good about......
2006-11-20 23:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd stop doing favors for the people who never return a favor. They are using you.
2006-11-21 00:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you, stop helping them.
Use the same excuses they do, only help the ones whom return the favor.
Complaining about it does not make you a whiny little baby, it conveys your true feelings.
Best of luck to you.
2006-11-21 00:30:13 · answer #9 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When someone would ask me to do a favor I would say I have a work to do and I'm busy. It is not good to work others job in a work place. They will consider you as someone who has little work and has nothing to do.
2006-11-20 22:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by nelli 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The same happened to me at school! In the end I just started coming up with my own excuses, and they worked...no one asked favours from me anymore! Yeah, don't complain, just don't do anything for them! And when they complain, just say "what goes around comes around" or " 'do unto others as you want done unto yourself' clearly you couldn't do that for me"
2006-11-20 23:48:25 · answer #11 · answered by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋