molly coddling my grandson far too much. And that if he is not to get bullied at school she needs to help him to stand on his own two feet more. Cruel to kind.
How do you think I ought to handle this delicate subject? Thank you!
I understand how she feels what with him being her only child and all and that she waited a long time to have him due to fertility problems.
2006-11-20 22:15:18 · 20 answers · asked by lyrapullman 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
There is nothing wrong with giving advice or tell her what you think or how you would handle it. But never expect her to do things the way you would do them. People diff. and some prefer to learn out of their own mistakes. My mother always helps me with advice but when she over reacts i then do what i want anyway. The only person you knows your daughter the best is you, listen to all the advice you can get but still do what you think your daughter would expect from you.
2006-11-21 00:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by SA Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum is in a similar position with my sister and her daughter. My niece was also concieved with IVF. We can all see how spoiled and mollycoddled my niece is but it's impossible to say anything - even though my sister can see her own nephews far better behaved, etc. Mum has tried several times to say things but just gets the cold shoulder - at the end of the day every parent,no matter how their child was conceived, thinks they know best!
What age is your grandson just now? It might be that he has time to develop before school and even when he gets to school and makes new friends then he will blossom and enjoy the variety of friendships there. Not every child ends up bullied and I would recommend that you try not to focus on the negative aspects of what might happen - rather concentrate and encourage all the good things and qualities about your grandson and enjoy his childhood days - they fly by so quickly!
Maybe you could suggest your daughter try a play group or toddler group - then both of them can socialise more and your daughter might pick up things from other mothers rather than feel pressure from you to be doing things differently. We all make mistakes and sometimes they have to be made for us to learn and alter our approach to parenting. From the moment of birth it's all a great big learning curve - forever! Even as a granny you must still be learning!
Good luck anyway.x
2006-11-21 07:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by wee stoater 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not get involved. This will only cause problems between you and your daughter. It will make her feel she is not doing a good job parenting and hurt her. As for the bullying, even if she does try to change her parenting tactics, this will not mean he will be exempt from a bully. When you have him, teach him problem solving skills. Ask him (what would you do if.....) This will prepare him more than her trying to change tactics in time to try and prevent him from being bullied. Sounds like she really cherishes her son and trys hard to be a good parent. You can not love a child too much, but you can not love a child too much. Be thankful for the blessings.
2006-11-21 06:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly..I wouldn't say anything at all. How old is the child? It may be hard..but I think it's best if you dont say anything at all. If you really feel the need to voice your opinion..be prepared. I would do it casually and calmly. Be gentle and understanding. Also...it depends on the child and the age of the child. Im sure he will figure out how to deal with life (we all do). He wont necessarily get bullied at school. I would really think hard before you say anything..she may think you are over-stepping your bounds. Good luck.
2006-11-21 06:22:17 · answer #4 · answered by trevnme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mention it in a nice way if she doesnt listen dont take it to heart if she snaps at you just explain your trying to help and say that you think she should toughen up a bit on him as if hes aloud to get away with anything then it will only make it harder for her in the long run
2006-11-21 07:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by bexieboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does Dad have to say? Does he agree with you?? Perhaps the two of you could come together and talk to her...gently...there is nothing more insulting & hurtful than to feel like others think you are a "bad" mom, and I would definately reassure her during your talk about the wonderful things she does do.
Good Luck!
2006-11-21 06:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are her mother and the childs grandmother, so I think you have every right to tell her your thoughts. Of course, say them nicely but firmly and set an example as to how you brought her up and how well she has turned out. Discuss the pros and cons of being cruel to be kind and ensure that she sees you only have the good of the child at heart.
2006-11-21 06:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by London Girl 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Is it that important to tell her this? Since you understand why she does it, can you not gently approach the subject by telling her in a nice way what you've told us? I know where you're coming from, but surely she will see this as interference. You know how much we need to protect our children. I don't know how old he is, but if he's still very young (pre-teen) perhaps you should leave it alone. Good luck.
2006-11-21 06:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you have to realise that it is up to her how she brings up her child. things are different now and you may cause a wedge between the 2 of you. how about suggesting he joins a class in martial arts (presuming he is old enough?) that wouls help his self esteem and help with the bullying.
2006-11-21 06:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by Vickie H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get that your concerned,but it is up to your daughter to raise her child as she sees fit,come on you must remember how annoying it was when your mother/mother in law told you"your not to do that,your not doing that right",you didn't like it.
Come on good old fashioned trial&error!
She will come good in the end,all about learning.
2006-11-21 07:22:00 · answer #10 · answered by kittypinkchuck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋