When we first got together i thought i was blessed with the best looking guy in the world but over time (over two years) his looks really changed..he dont have that baby face anymore that i used to love and he grew his hair out and got braids. Some times he just looks weird and it doesnt help that he's a goofy person that likes to make weird looking faces at me to make me laugh and it just disgusts me...dont get me wrong sometimes he have good days but most of the time im not attracted by him. And i cannot get turned on by him anymore..im a germaphobic and i can smell anything and i hate the way his breath smells and he always tends to have this scent on his lower area that i smell when were laying near each other...even after he showers or even washes his clothes..i hate to say it but last month i finally had my first orgasm with him (but it was orally) but never with intercourse. So the only time i get turned on is when he talks about eating me out..i love him but idk what to do.....
2006-11-20 20:28:44 · 25 answers · asked by Sweetheart88 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didnt mean to say boyfriend..i mean FIANCE.
2006-11-20 20:36:48 · update #1
Well, first I have to ask, Have you discussed in a gentle way that his looks have changed, and that your not real fond of the braids now. You can't get on him for the baby face not being there anymore. Peoples faces change as they grow older. That's a natural thing that if your going to stay with him you need to deal with. A personal issue for you to get over.
I also wonder that if the weird faces are disgusting you, why do you still laugh at them?. He obviously does it because he likes to see you smile. Have you told him that the faces that he makes makes you feel uncomfortable and perhaps maybe that's why you laugh, because you don't exactly know how to deal with it. That at first they were funny, but now are just irritating, and annoying?.
You say you hate the way his breathe smells, but first have you told him your a germaphobic. Literally said those words?. Men are funny creatures, and just because a woman gives all the signals does NOT mean they will get it. At times with men you have to literally tell them straight out, or they do not know, even after all the signals. And second, have you tried offering him a mint, Going with him to the store to obtain perhaps, some powder, or cologn that can at the very least mask the scent that is offending you so?. Corn starch can also absorbe orders. He can try that as well. Have you tried to work with him on the issues your having.
Remember it takes two to make things work. He still has those same things that attracted you in the beginning, now you just have to work through it. You've gotton past the infatuation stage and now moved on to the love stage. Love is an action word, that means verb. Not a noun. You need to, if your going to chose to stay with him, talk to him and let him know your having these problems.
Be fully honest with him, and let him into you. From the sounds of it, you have internalized these issues, made them yours. You and him are a couple. Those issues need to be worked on together, to make the relationship better.
As far as the orgasms go, I would say once the scent issues are addressed and worked on it will be easier to work on the orgasm issues. Some woman just do not get off through intercourse, but have to have their clitoris stimulated in some way. It's ok, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, and if you have had prior partners that have proved that issue wrong, then you also need to talk to him aboue new ways to have intercourse. Remember...communication is huge.
2006-11-20 20:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by Enigma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been with my guy for 6 years. he was 15 when we started dating and in 21 now.. i know what you mean about loosing the baby face and all. he was so beautiful back then. now he has all kinds of tattos ( which i am not a fan of) and scars on his face from where he got ran over by a car, and he went through a time where he did drugs and his beautiful teeth arent as beautiful as they use to be, but im not in love with the outside of him... i love whats on the inside. he could be burnt up and totally disfigured and i would still see the guy he is on the inside. as far as the smells, now thats a different story. thats whats wrong with relationships these days, people are scared to be honest with each other. you have been together for two years, tell his *** to go take a shower and use soap!!! good luck! trust me, they take it better than you think. i did mention that he kinda neglected his smile a few weeks ago, and he has an apointment to get his pearly whites back in prior shape next monday! good luck!
2006-11-20 20:41:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years is a very short time to change so much as you describe. Why this came about is something you are going to have to find out as best you can. You are not attracted to him and he turns you off more than he turns you on. This is serious. Is it possible that as time went on, he got complacent about his looks, his attractiveness, his scent and is desirability? A physical relationship and it is over 2 years before you have your first orgasm? There are red flags in all that you say. Why this came about and the complacence issue is where you have to begin. Good luck,
2006-11-20 20:46:11 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DR. PHIL??? i guess hes not here, but honestly you need counceling and some kind of help because it doesnt matter whats on the outside it should matter whats on the inside you sound like you maybe are insicure of yourself to and maybe need to grow up and see what beauty is all about BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER basically you dont really see beauty you see things that doesnt really matter to people who actually have a heart
good luck maybe you should break up with him, because than he wont be run down and he can find a girl taht would be better for him obviously not even a lesbian would wnat you!!!
im married an dhappy and my husband has a disability but i look whats on the inside not the outside even though hes beautiful inside and out!
2006-11-20 20:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All people have a scent, whether just bathed or not. I would first seek help with the phobia, then look within yourself to find out if you ever truely loved him, or were just playing him along because it excited you to do so. Some are infatuated with the thought of falling in love, but oncew it happens, loose interest. It is infatuation with falling in love, not with the person. Time for some serious soul searching, sweety.
2006-11-20 20:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by Darqblade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't sound like you are really in love sweetie. Love doesn't really see those things or smell those smells. Maybe sometimes it stinks but not to really bother you the way you are making it sound. Go back and really read what you wrote what would you say to that person? I think its time to move on. MOST women aren't just physically attracted to their man so more than likely there is something else that is not turning you on. Maybe you guys just aren't in tune with each other anymore... Talk to him about it .. or find someone new
2006-11-20 20:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I don't think your in love with him at all. You in love with how he use to look. How have you changed over the past 2 years? How does a germophobic end up giving head? Here is a secret you many don't know. When women have orgasms its because we have to put our bodies in a position to rub a certain area. Not from anything the guy does during intercourse
2006-11-20 20:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may not be easy to end it because you have been dating for so long but in my opinion it is something that has to happen. He is controlling and jealous this is an abusive relationship. No one has the right to tell you what to do except yourself. I really think you know the answer to this question. If you do not like the way you are being treated then end it. You deserve a man who will respect you. You deserve better than that. Its going to feel like you may be making a mistake but you will be so much better off... I promise
2016-05-22 04:55:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi :)
well... i think you might be in a rut you know? being in a relationship for so long with some one so close.. you might have days when your just not attracted to them you know? I think the best thing for you to do is just tell him how you feel ( not harshly ) but tell him that you guys need to spice things up.. or that maybe he should wear a different shirt one day to not look goofy.
the best thing in a relationship is the truth.....
i dont think you should give up an amazing relationship because of something that can be fixed with communication hun.
best of luckxx
Hannah
2006-11-20 21:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by Hannah P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not talk to him about the problems your having. Then you can work out whats best for the both of you. If you love him then don't get put down about all the bad things, try to see only the good things.
Good luck.
2006-11-20 20:38:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋