with this girl? Our personalities just clash and always have. Her father was a widower when we married.
2006-11-20 19:34:58 · 11 answers · asked by marincaligirl 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
sit this girl down and look her straight in the eyes while speaking.
let her know you are not in her life to take her mothers' place. you are in her life FOR her father. she will grow up and leave her daddy. who will be there for him when he gets old? does she want to take care of him when he gets old? doubt it!
let her know that you are here to help her mom raise her because she can't be here in the flesh to do it. let her know you are in it for the long haul. she can like it or love it. but you are going no where. there is no way to kick you out of her life. she needs to learn how to ACCEPT.
2006-11-21 00:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but mothers and daughters have been clashing from the beginning,no matter if its your birth child or not,look back to when you was a little girl,how much did you clash with your mom,I would just say love this child remember you are the only mom she has and think about how hard that is for her.Find some things that you and her can do together that is fun,crafts or gardening at home,or going to the mall or movies together.Soon you will develop a different relationship and things will get better if you try,there will still be problems that's how it is with kids.Always remember she is a child and she will do things that will irritates you,but it will pass soon.
2006-11-21 10:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by crystal powell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step relationships are always hard. Especially since his daughter is going to missing her mother for a very long time.
Try to see the situation from her point of view. Or perhaps try to see them from the angle what would you want for your child if you passed away and your husband remarried??? Are you treating her the way you would want his new wife to treat your child? You don't have to actually have a chid to put yourself in this position.
Is she undergoing any counseling? Perhaps counseling is in order, probably for her to talk to someone alone and with the family. It might even be a good idea to let her choose the therapist so she feels a little more in control? She may feel she is out of any control in her life. And lets face it even adults need to feel like they have some control over their life. She had no control over her mother dying or her father remarrying and moving on with his life. Perhaps she even feels she is dishonoring her mothers memory if she were to like you or develop a good relationship with you?
Bottom line is you are the adult, she is the child. You need to have patience with her no matter how hard it is. Don't get involved in her discipline. If you have a problem with something she is doing at home or school talk to her father in private. Don't be put in the situation of you vs her. That isn't good for your marriage.
Hopefully you can develop a relationship through counseling you all can live with. She is a part of his life and needs to know that you don't change that. And you need to know she isn't going anywhere and your husband needs you to love his daughter the way you love him, unconditionally.
2006-11-21 05:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister had a difficult time with our step-mom. She was awesome did everything for us. My sister finally came around. Always remember that you are the adult in the situation don't act like a child and play games. That's what she wants, for you to be angry and miserable. Happiness is better than any argument. Just don't show her that she can get to you.
2006-11-21 04:40:31 · answer #4 · answered by Kelhu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get over it or leave. If I thought my husband didnt like my children from a previous relationship, I would tell him to move on. I watched my dad have girlfriend after girlfriend and most of the time we got along but he wasnt there for me. (put a partner first) I would never let that happen to my children.
How old is the child?
2006-11-21 04:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by lividuva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably resentful towards you.....before you came in their life it was her and dad and now it's the three of you. You have to put yourself in her position and remember she is just a child. It would be hard to have to share your Dad and not have your mom around. my mother remarried when I was 16 after my father had passed away. I put that poor guy through hell. I was a problem child,but he was so kind to me anyway and really tried to just understand me and 15 years latter we have a very special friendship and he is just the best!!!!. The point is he never gave up on me....so don't give up on her just try to understand her
2006-11-21 03:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lyssa D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the natural father should be the discipliner for the child, not you. Father and daughter are a package deal and if you can't stand her maybe you should move on. She deserves a happy childhood with her father. I advise family therapy to preserve your relationship.
2006-11-21 03:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by winkcat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait until she's 18 and pressure your husband to kick her out. Every divorcee puts their new love first over their children.
2006-11-21 08:53:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you are not trying to be mommy, she will not want to replace the one she lost!
2006-11-21 03:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a stepmother if u show her u don't like her she will dislike u forever. and don't try and make her like u because she won't . so what i'm trying to say is be yourself and don't try anything.
2006-11-21 06:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by Delene F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋