If your BF is strict on privacy but you feel they are lying would you log into their email to find the truth?

Question

We've had this issue before when I found out he was lying about another girl and he didn’t tell her about me and I logged into his name to find the truth... The only bad thing to him was my violating his privacy, "trust" but he eventually admitted he should've told the girl the truth about me... Then a year later he says something to me that’s not right about another woman and in my heart I know he is lying but he's very strict on his privacy... But doing so breaks our bond/promise even if he's breaking his... However, I know if I logged in I'd know the truth because of him lying before... I did it and my friends say they would but his co-workers/friends/ said it's an immediate termination of our relationship no matter what he did to me I should never do something like that... (I found out the truth and it broke us apart but I needed to know what more people thought about this situation).

What would you have done? Would you need to know the truth by logging in or try to trust him

I did do it and I found out he was lying to me again... But I wanted to know what everyone else would do if they were in my position. I found out why he ignored me all day was to flirt with two other women he says him and his coworkers were doing this. We live 1200 miles apart and have been together 2 years and he's flirting with a girl near me that he has to keep in contact with and a girl in his building.

Answer 1

I have found after a lying marriage for 15 years.
Once a liar always a liar..
Sure i young and i trusted him fully. But i caught him out on a few home truths.. (this was before Internet was out and about).
When Internet was in .. i never looked at his email or messages.
as he wasn't that interested in the net.
But if i felt i needed to double check .. it would be i already know the answer.

And no matter how much checking or reading emails.
It comes down to you.. and how you feel.
You don't trust him.. you get this gut feeling something is happening.. he has done it before.. your getting the same signs and singles as before.
Then i would make up your mind.
Do you want to spend your life and time with this man.
Who makes you feel.. the way you feel.
If yes.. Then stay and confront him about it.. Face to face.

If you don't want to stay.. Tell him how he is making you feel.
You had enough and move on..

I moved on .. and after some years, i found a man i trust 110%
I have no second guessing. I don't feel any jealousy or worry..
Its honest down the line, Its great...
Compared to what i had before.

Its a hard choice.
Blessings and Wishes to you.

Answer 2

In the end it really comes down to you. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, including your boyfriend. I had my girlfriends passwords to her myspace and email and other stuff but I never used it. I was really tempted and came close once but I didn't do it. Even once we broke up I didn't. I thought she must really trust me to give me this information, and that meant a lot to me. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and if he finds out you did this, he will never trust you again. It might be tempting now but don't do it, you'll be glad you didn't. Trust me. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

i did the same before to my ex.somehow i just got to know his email password & had been loggin on to his mails...since he flirts a lot...he had no idea of this...never will...
so it became a habit cause his mails to these girls just never stop & was extramly over the line...
i gave up on him as whenever i try to pin point,he denys...there were amils of appoitments & movies made,but he deny being anywhere else but home that day...
we somewho broke up...
im not saying that the same is with your bf..it can be it can be ot...but even after breaking up with him, i still continue to do it...bit of a habit already...
and that;s when i found it to be wrong...it was violating his privacy cause im not a part of him any longer...its his life now...
but it is still your to question...it isnt just about trust,its about are u ready to live relationship like this when he keeps being in denial?

Answer 4

girlfriend you did the right thing. if he wanted that much privacy he was definitely trying to hide something. you should have been in his wallet, his e mail, his regular mail, and his cell phone records! he broke the bond of trust a long time ago. he would have continued to play you if you would have let him. glad you took a stand and did something instead of sitting there being stupid. all of his co-workers/friends were probably in on it or have a woman that they are playing so don't listen to them. move on and forget the loser

Answer 5

it will be ok for you, even though it would want to no longer be ok for him. He would take it offensively and accuse you of no longer trusting him. I actually have my husband's passwords to quite somewhat each and every thing, from e-mail to gaming money owed, and he's conscious of all of mine. although, we do not purely bypass into one yet another's e-mails each and every time we experience like it. We purely bypass in if the different asks for help to envision on something. I believe him thoroughly, and he trusts me. It purely doesn't experience organic snooping, inspite of the actuality that if there became a reason. So till he supplies you permission, i'd purely stay out. even although husband and spouse share quite somewhat each and every thing, nevertheless we are entitled to three quantity of privateness.

Answer 6

I have been there when i was married and i looked at his email and found out what i already new he was messing around on me so YES i would look you need to know the truth if you think he is

Answer 7

I wouldn't get involved with someone I couldn't trust from the begining. If the relationship is not going to make you happy then get out before you get too attached and it turns into a big mess. You don't want to fall for someone who doesn't deserve your affection.

Answer 8

I would definetly go into his account! Im sure you have had to sacrifice things in this relationshipSo why cant he sacrifice his privacy!
And if he is cheating or doing anything along the lines of that then he is the one who broke your relationship not you!

Good Luck ;-)

Answer 9

well you know what...i have the same exact problem with my bf. and even tho i never did it on a purpose he still got caught trying to get with another girl on myspace. and even tho he denied for 2months... when it came to our little moments of truth that we have every once in a while... he did admit it to me... and u know what she was from long distance too. but im n the same town as him. even then... i know girls still call his phone and he tells me that they are just homegirls...and i have the feeling they arent at all, kuz he always has to go to another part of the house or outside to talk and its always so obvious. but i just dont give a dam and he sticks with me. and he shows me all the time that he loves me.... but the point is that i know how u feel about the lying and hiding stuff from their gfs and stuff like that....

Answer 10

yes I would, just to find out the truth and to end up all his lying to me.