been together 4 12 years,have kids together,
i cant seem to leave him,I'm not inlove with him any more.
2006-11-20 16:54:12 · 14 answers · asked by Lorina 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
meet a guy bigger than him and if he wanna try somethin bad the bigger guy should kick his ***
2006-11-20 16:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful. You didnt say what kinds of things he does to be obsessive. If you are afraid of him, you need a plan. If there are any shelters for women that you can turn to for help, they will be able to advise you how to get away safely. It depends on the guy, but sometimes restraining orders can do more harm than good because then you really get him angry and he may do something really bad. Try to get professional help from an organization or shelter.
2006-11-20 17:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem. My boyfriend, who by the time I left him was my fiance, was obsessive and abusive. I loved him when we began dating for I had known him for 3 years prior to our relationship.
Throughout two years I had to constantly inform him on where I was going, who I was with and then had to call after an hour to let him know what I was doing. That was the beginning but I only took it as him being...well...over protective.
Finally within the last 6 months of our relationship it had escalated to him accusing me of cheating, and then into physical assaults. I was convinced that I was in the wrong and that he had his reasons.
My relationship ended with me moving an hour and a half out of town, and severing all ties to him. I even left my beloved Cat to him because I had split up many times, and ONE encounter with him would lead me back into his arms...because he was all I knew.
My advice would be to leave. Just Leave. Do not messege him, block and delete him. Do not even associate yourself with people who are close to him because that leaves him an avenue to contact and continue the obsession.
It's hard, very hard. Especially when you care deeply about someone, but as you said you do not love him anymore so take this chance to end it. Just remember, by leaving now you end something that already is extremely dangerous and you will be eliminating the chance for it to grow even more.
I wish you so much luck. If all else fails, call the police and place a peace bond on him. That way he can not contact you or come within a minimum of 400 ft. of you. *goodluck* :)
(PS. as for the children, it is up to you as to whether you would like their father to have visitation. If it is too extreme(the obsession) then you should consult a children's aid type facility and they will help you with deciding whether or not it's to risky for your children.)
2006-11-20 17:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by kleptomania2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very careful how you handle it because obsessive b/f can be dangerous. The fact that you have children with this man makes it even more so.
If you have a close male relative or friend make sure they have their cell phones on and are close by when you decide to leave.
Good luck.
2006-11-20 16:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on if the relationship is abusive or just obsessive. Always remember that obsession can lead to abuse. Either way it is important to be careful. If abuse is present, get proof, pictures work, and possibly go to a battered women's shelter, they can help you from there. Use caution even if the relationship is not an abusive one.
2006-11-20 17:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to leave is by just doing it..have some supportive family or friends to be there for you..if hes libel to become violent in any way, go to the courts first and get a restraining order, that way you are protected..dont stay in a relationship because of the children, it wont be healthy for them or you..
2006-11-20 16:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by Nikkib 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you can leave him, it's the obsessive part that should frighten you. Stalking is against the law right? Kids in the middle, that's gonna be tough
2006-11-20 16:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your kids, no one will stop you from walking out that door to save them from that bad a@@ relationship. By putting them first, your vision will become very clear. Stay strong, and move on. Good Luck.
2006-11-20 16:59:47 · answer #8 · answered by J J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your kids in danger because of his obsessiveness?
If so, stop being selfish, pick up the kids and walk out the door...duh.
2006-11-20 17:03:26 · answer #9 · answered by divinephi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave. there is no right way to do this. you just got to make suere that this is what you want make a decision and follow threw. it sounds like you have not made the decision yet so make sure you know what you want before you make your decision otherwise you may not be able to follow threw. good luck.
2006-11-20 16:59:19 · answer #10 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pack your and your kid's stuff when he's gone...call the police so they will be there when you leave in case he shows up (they might even make him leave) and get a restraining order for you and your children as soon as possible.
2006-11-20 17:02:54 · answer #11 · answered by aj607 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋