I'm 21 and I have just come out of a 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. I haven't been with anyone else besides him..I lost my virginity to him. Its been nearly 4 months since we've broken up.
It was a mutual break-off.
I was out a couple of weekends ago and I saw my ex-boyfriend with another girl..it KILLED me to see him holding her hands, laughing with her.. (he didn't see me)..I ran off and cried driving home..I know I sound like a COMPLETE LOSER and that I should just get over it..
I went out with a guy (with other friends) last night.. and it felt so damn weird/awkward without my ex-boyfriend there. And when he drove me home and kissed me..I kinda cut the kiss short and said 'thanks bye' and got out the car.
I know you're all thinking 'just get over it'..but its hard. It feels all too weird to be kissing someone else..My friends aren't any help..
Is it too soon to be dating someone else?
Please give me your advice/thoughts.
2006-11-20 16:30:16 · 19 answers · asked by rHiaNna`` 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have every right to feel the way you do. You were in a committed relationship that came to an end. Your first love is always the hardest, and IT JUST HAPPENED. Give yourself some time to grieve for the passing of your first relationship. I think your trying to jump back in the saddle too quick.
Take time to focus on being you, single and eventually happy, then when you really are happy being single try adding someone in the mix again. You are what is most important right now.
2006-11-20 16:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to "get over it" when you have been in a relationship for as long as you were. You just need to carry on with your life and someone will come along and make you happy. It is not too soon to date and you should go out and enjoy yourself, remember just because you go out with a guy on a date it is not a life long commitment. Date several guys till the right one comes along. On the other hand, You said that the break up was mutual so you had a hand in it also, was it really what you wanted. If you still have strong feelings for your ex you will lose nothing by talking to him and seeing if he is over you or not.
2006-11-20 16:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get used to the idea of dating some one new. I mean look forward to the next first date, first kiss and so on. Realize he wasn't the one for you. Because he wasn't. I mean if he was you would have stayed together with him. And that's important because that means the right guy for you is still out there waiting for you to come along.
So heal up, get stronger, and try to see what went wrong in that past relationship. What signs did you fail to see that told you the relationship was wrong for you. Some times you can only learn in time what the problem was.
Over all id say keep busy, keep your head up, learn from it, an when the time is right (and only you will know that), move on.
2006-11-20 16:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by zuff101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's normal to be heartbroken, and feeling weird with a different man is natural. This is called a "rebound" relationship, and it doesn't usually work out well.
I've been told that it takes about a year for a girl to get over a guy... if she has absolutely no contact with him for that entire length of time.
I've also been told that a lot of people date just because it seems to be the thing to do. That's no fun. If it feels weird kissing someone else, that's normal. if it feels wrong kissing someone else, you might want to give it more time.
2006-11-20 17:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody is different as far as how they handle break ups. Your "friends" are not friends if they don't give you a few minutes of their time to try to help you. That's what they are supposed to be for.
You and this guy had a special thing for a long time. You will probably never forget him, but he's just a part of your life. He's not your whole life and if he's out with another girl, he obviously does not intend to be in your life.
It will be hard, give it time and one day you'll see him for what he was: the first of many great guys that came into your life.
I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. I still have a special place in my heart for my first kiss. Everyone does.
2006-11-20 16:41:25 · answer #5 · answered by sunny_tennessee_25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so hard on yourself. You are 21 and were with him for 5 years - that is one fourth of your life. It takes a long time to move on. You'll get there, but be patient with yourself. Spend some time alone, taking care of yourself - working out, or pampering yourself. Someone will come along and give you that funny skittery feeling in your stomach again - I promise--but it is going to take maybe a year to fully get right about this. You can't just let go of 5 years over night.
best of luck sweetie.
2006-11-20 16:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as for being to soon ? I would have to say YES, only because what you wrote is telling me that... give urself time to heal and grieve and all the other emotions that go along with breaking up from a long term relationship... 4 yrs is a long time to spend in a committed relationship.... go out, but as and with friends... get to know YOU , who and what you are, before bringing some one else into your life...... I never understood the rebound dating and stuff ppl do... after my relationships ended, I always took the time to regroup and gather myself..... I did not just jump into another one, who needs the pain and stress ?????? God bless
2006-11-20 16:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sucks,im sorry you are going through that.i think i would die if i see my ex with someone like that.like you,me and my ex broke up too.not too long ago,but it feels like it's been really long ago.and i have a feeling that he has someone.but im not sure about that.i wanna believe he doesnt.i know it's hard.i've cried a lot as well.and i dont feel like going out with anyone,i know it wouldnt help,it would just make me feel worst.so i dont wanna do it.dating someone now it's not the best idea.it will make you feel bad and think about him even more.just try to keep yourself busy doing the things you like,watch a movie,read a book,practise some sport.or just go meet your friend.even though some of them make it worst sometimes.just dont do something you dont wanna do.this is like a time for yourself,time to think and get to know yourself a bit more.it's gonna be difficult to get over that guy,it's not like tomorrow we are gonna be like nothing happened..but it can be better.he already moved on.try your best to forget about him too.
all the best girl.
2006-11-20 18:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by pinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 07:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by goodgion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it nvr 2 soon...... it all depends on your feelings.....if u feel awkward arournd him then tell him tht u jus came outa a long relationship and u still need time to get over it....take things slow and warm up 2 him first so tht u dnt do anything tht will make things more awkward good luck!
2006-11-20 16:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋