My sister overdosed with drugs and died....why did she do it? (serious answers)?

Question

Why do people commit suicide? Why!??! What is so great about killing yourself? Why can't you tell someone when your in pain?!1 Get help?!!? My sister was so selfish doing this! I'm so angry! I don't want to be angry but I am!!!

In my religion suicide is a sin. You go to hell. And my parents told me not to talk about my sister anymore. I don't understand!!!! And I'm so angry!!! How can my parents just dis own her?!?!

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My sister was suffering from depression and annorexia. She was 24 years old. God Bless!

Answer 1

my sincere condolences to you and your family. i don't have an answer to your question only that your sister obviously felt pain so unbearable that she felt it was her only way out. WE know it isn't the only way out...but she didn't! God doesn't abandon those who are confused and in ultimate pain, it's not that clear cut...no one can say where anyone ends up...Christian or not.......i personally believe your sister is in the safe loving arms of her Father....excactly where He wants her to be.
bless you

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing great about killing ones self. Though usually the reason for committing suicide is that the person is 1. seeking attention and did not mean for it to work, hence attempted suicides, or 2. could not handle the stress, pressure of whatever she was dealing with. When a person is depressed, it is hard to see how others are trying to help, and usually they misinterrupt the intention. Your sister may not have been thinking about you or your parents at the time when she committed suicide, and perhaps that was selfish of her, but whatever she was dealing with was so overwhelming that she could not see beyond her problems.

As for your parents, perhaps not talking about your sister is their way of dealing with the pain. Albeit, not a very constructive way.

You have every right to be angry, and it is good that you are sharing your feelings with others and getting them out in the open. That is the first step towards understanding and healing.

You may want to suggest counseling to your parents though, and if they aren't agreeable then perhaps you could speak with a counselor on your own. If you don't have insurance, check with the health department, as they can assist you.

God bless you and may you find peace in the remembering of the joy your sister brought to you.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry for your loss. And I understand your anger and frustration. But for some people, they see no way out, they don't know how anything will ever get right again. I am currently suffering with depression, and often have thoughts of suicide. The reason and I think the only reason I am still here is for my children. Depression is such an ugly black place, and no matter what you do you cant see the light at the end of that tunnel. And while in that tunnel you think of how your issues are ruining the lives of everyone around you. So the guilt just builds and you think..they'd be better off without me...which we know is not true, but its extremely hard to see that through the darkness of depression. I wish you the best with your healing, it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to someone about this and get out all of your feelings. Go to your fam. dr, or find a psychologist who deals with these sorts of things. God Bless and take care. And I believe that your sister is with god now.

Answer 4

Coming from someone who has battled anorexia and addiction to pain killers, I can tell you only some things.

When you are anorexic, there is no getting rid of it fully. Even if you are at a "normal" weight, you don't think that you are. Depression is something that hurts inside and out. When people commit suicide, sometimes they do it as the ultimate act of revenge against those whom the suicidal victim thinks harmed them in some way. Another reason is that the feeling of hopelessness and hurt is just too much to bear. No one will be able to answer your question thoroughly except one but that person is gone. I'm extremely sorry for your loss and I am not going to tell you that it is wrong for you to be mad at your sister. That anger may last for a long time...if you let it. Your parents don't want to talk about your sister because it hurts them too much to speak right now. Losing a child is something that no parent should have to go through.
Since you were raised to believe that suicide is the ultimate mortal sin, then you could pray for your sister's redemption. I was raised a Roman-Catholic and brought up to believe that suicide is a sin. Now that I am much older and have changed my way of thinking, I don't personally believe that suicides go to hell necessarily. Your sister was in a great deal of pain and went through excruciating pain ending her own life. ODing on pills is not painless. In fact, it is extremely painful. Pray for her and love her. I hate saying this because I hate being told this but time will pass and so will your pain. Just remember to breathe.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss. I have felt very depressed at times, and felt the world would be better without me, but fortunately, never acted any of those feelings out and also got help.

When people get to the point where they are suicidal and actually attempt it, they are not mentally competent enough to know they need help. They are not thinking logically. They can rationalize what they are doing very easily. They are so absorbed in their own problems they can not think of the true consequences and how they will be hurting those closest to them.

I know, this does nothing for your pain. All I know is if your sister was malnourished from anorexia and her mind was a mess from the depression, a kind and loving God would forgive her. We do not really know anything about the mind of God. So don't convince yourself she is suffering in hell.

And as for your parents, I don't agree with what they are doing, but they also must be in terrible pain from this. Give them time, and be extra kind to them too. Hopefully one day they will come around and work through their feelings of anger, sadness and hopelessness.
God bless and I will be praying for you and thinking of you.

Answer 6

There are a couple of things in this, so I'll address one at a time.

First, your parents are suffering as much as you are. They have apparently chosen to ignore their pain instead of embracing it and dealing with it. This is definately destructive, but they will only do what they think is best. Some grief counseling would do them good.

Secondly, I don't know how old you are, but it is very hard to loose anyone, especially a sibling. It's perfectly ok to be angry, but try to keep in mind that your sister must have been really suffering to do what she did. Perhaps she was on the brink of dispair, feeling much like you do now, feeling like her life was out of control, she had no way out and this was the only thing she could do to get herself some relief from the depression and anxiety she was feeling.

My mother was suicidal for many years, she ran in cycles and it was very painful each time she tried. She did not succeed because we dragged her kicking and screaming to the doctor to rule out any sort of physical cause. After lots of blood tests and lots of waiting, we learned that she had a thyroid disorder that was causing her to act (in a lot of ways) like a person who should be committed. She reports now (almost 2 years later) no recollection of that time in her life, no memory of the multiple suicide threats. The illness made her irrational and unable to control her own person.

In the same way, your sister was ill. Anorexia is very serious, as is depression. The combination of the two may have made your sister feel out of control or like she would never be well again.

I hope that you will find peace in your religion or in the comfort of those around you. Death is so hard, especially when sudden and tragic.

Answer 7

My condolences to you. That is a terribly difficult situation. The important thing to remember is that it isn't your sister who was responsible for her death, but the drugs she was taking and the mental instability (and the physical disabilitiy) caused by the anorexia. You can still love your sister, even if you are angry at the disease that caused her death. And anorexia is a disease, as is depression. You can never really know what was going through her mind when she took the drugs. It's quite possible that she didn't really think they would kill her, just ease her pain for a little while.
What you are feeling right now is very natural. It feels terrible to you, to be angry at your sister, but that is, in fact, very normal. And at the same time you are devastated, because she is gone. It's a very hard mix of emotions to come to terms with.
Your parents are likely as confused and upset as you are, and not talking about her is their way of coping with a very difficult situation. They are likely just as heartbroken as you are, but can't express it, so they repress it. No matter what they say, they still love her. You can't turn off your feelings for your child, no matter what they have done. And they likely feel guilty over that since their religion tells them that she has sinned.
You can still hold your sister in your heart, and feel compassion for her, and think of her with love. You can pray for her, and hope God grants her peace. Someone who is not in their right mind is not always judged to be a sinner, and your sister was not in her right mind when she took this drastic step.
You can help her by volunteering with an agency that works with either depression or anorexia, and use your grief to help prevent some other girl from following that same sad path.
May God comfort you and your family.

Answer 8

You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty whatsoever. In her last days, and in her dark times she always had you by her side. Tough love is still love, and you did what you could to try and help her through it. Most importantly, you were there for her. So many people unfortunately overdose on drugs every year. Even sadder is the fact that most of them die alone, with nobody caring for them. While there is a lot of sadness in your life due to her loss, take some comfort in knowing that you were there for her and tried. She may be gone, but at least she was never alone. I'm sure she always was and always will be thankful for that.

Answer 9

My heart goes out to you.
There are times when the pain becomes too much. People see no way out, and no way to feel better. I can't think of a worse combination than anorexia and depression. It had to be a helpless feeling.
Please understand that she was trying to help herself feel better by not having to feel anything anymore.
It was not a matter hurting you, or anyone else. She just didn't see a way out of it.
You need to see a grief counseller, and soon. You cannot let these feelings of frustration and hopelessness to fester.
God Bless. I hope you are able to find peace. BTW, I don't think suicide is right at any time, however, I don't believe in a vengeful God either. He embraces all his children, no matter what.

Answer 10

So sorry to hear about your loss. I too know how it feels to lose a loved one to suicide. My husband died Dec. 24, 2004. I was left with 3 very young children. A 3 yr old, 2 yr old, and a 9 month old. I too was very angry when my husband died. My parents talked very little to me about him after he died. I wanted to talk to them about what I was feeling. But they weren't able to talk. I now am depressed during the holiday season. Just like the other person stated. I am here mainly for my children knowing that they need me. You should get some professional help to, it does help. I got help and i still go to a support group. Talking to someone who actually know what you are going thru does help. It will get easier for you, but you do have to forgive your sister. Depression sucks. I forgave my husband and it has made it a little more bearable. I know it will help. Just let your sister know that you forgive her and ask her to keep a watchful eye on you. Maybe if you are lucky she will be your guardian angel. Good luck.

Answer 11

You answered your own question, she was depressed. And it's okay that your angry, anger is one of the stages of grief. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Some people say that guilt and shock are also stages, but it depends on who you talk to. I think in most religions it is considered a sin, I know it is in mine, but that doesn't stop people from doing it especially people that are sick. And depression is a very serious illness. Your sister probably didn't intend to be selfish, she just didn't know how to handle her depression. I don't know how old your parents are or how devout they are in their religion but that could have something to do with it and remember they have to go through the stages of grief too. Is there someone you can talk to like a councilor or a priest (preacher)? They can help you get through this.
You have my deepest sympathy.
P.S. I think GOD knows your sister was sick and I really don't believe he casts sick people to hell. I think that's geared more towards the stupid people that for fun play russian roulette and such. You need to try to remember that our GOD is a Good GOD and he doesn't punish us for being ill.