When are you supposed to say "enough!!"?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and it has always been a little rocky. When we first start dating (like every relationship) everything was perfect and it just seemed like we were meant to be together. He is a work-alcoholic and I'm usually lucky if I see him once a week. We've always had that problem and we argue about it a lot, but lately it has gotten worse. Not only do I not see him but now we barely even talk on the phone. He has been promising me that he will change and he's in the process of getting a different job. I still love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me, but am I just supposed to wait around until he changes? When is it time to say enough and move on?

For those of you wondering more about the relationship...
1. I know by all means that he is not cheating on me and when he says he's going to work he IS going to work...that I do know.
2. I have tried so hard to make things work, I HAVE sent him flowers at his work and I HAVE visited at his work a million times.
3. I know that because I'am doubting the relationship that I should probably let him go but the biggest problem is that I love him so much I can't even imagine myself with anyone else, I really think he is the love of my life but sometimes I just feel like he doesn't try, so am I supposed to just deal with that?
And last but not least,
4. In regard to wraths answer, actually not only do I work full-time but I'm also a full time student trying to accomplish my goals that don't involve JUST making money. I don't care how much money he makes and the times that we do go out, I usually pay more than half the time! I'm not pathetic, I'm just in love, something you don't know about!!

Answer 1

The fact that you are asking this question speaks volumes about your relationship. It sounds like you are at your breaking point, and something drastic needs to be done. You need to tell him how you feel and how it is affecting your relationship before his behavior continues. Hopefully, if he cares about your relationship, he will offer suggestions to help your situation and then follow through on them. If he doesn't, the troubles will only continue and lead to deeper issues. I'm sure this is really stressful for you, so talk to him soon! Good luck!

Answer 2

It's hard enough to keep ourselves happy. If you are having this many problems and there are that many things in the way, then perhaps it is not right for you to be in the relationship. No matter how much you love him, if you feel like you are "walking on eggshells" around him, or even try to stay apart to avoid conflict, that is a bad sign. If you are feeling awful and helpless because you want it, but he isn't trying, then there is nothing you can do to make him try. He either will or won't. Don't go crazy thinking you aren't trying hard enough. It just won't work if you BOTH don't work on it.

Answer 3

Now is the time to say good bye. If he really loved you like you say then he would make time to see you or talk to you everyday. Remember there is 24 hours in a day and you should know he is not working all the time and you do get breaks while you are working, so he could meet you for lunch or give you a call at that time.....maybe he is sharing time with someone else other than you...

Answer 4

Sorry, but a workaholic is a workaholic is a workaholic, and changing jobs only means he'll be overworking at a different job. If he ignores you for his job during your courting days, when a guy is at his most attentive, the outlook isn't promising for the future. Even with a new job. Maybe if you threaten to leave him, it will provide the shock he needs to make him change his ways, but that's a long shot.
But in the end, it's your call whether you want to invest any more time in this relationship.

Answer 5

It's time to say 'enough' when you realise you aren't happy and it sounds to me like you have come to that sad realisation. Often it is a lot easier to hang onto the hope that things will get better, your partner will change, etc ~ but in all reality they will not. Relationships became a lot easier for me when I realised that I could NOT change anyone. You either need to both seek counselling to fix the issues you have as a couple, or move on. I understand that you love him, I have been in a similar situation myself, but remember that YOU must come first, YOUR happiness, YOUR future.

Answer 6

No one can tell you when you have had enough. I don't care if your boyfriend is cheating, beating, lying to you, ignoring you while he plays video games, or whatever...your friends (or yahoo people) might say, you have to be fed up with that by now, which you probably are, but only YOU know when it's time to call it quits, and if your asking...I don't think your quite done yet. You will know when it's over...when you have tried everything possible to think of to make it work and you can't try anymore. Good luck.

Answer 7

is it really work ?...

some people are workaholics...

but maybe if what little time you spend is fighting over the time you don't have, I'd rather be working too..

try a different approach,

how about letting him make all the moves,

don't even act like you care, if you get a call great ?

& a dinner once a week ? great !

just start over ,

let him miss you,
& just maybe you'll miss him too,

enough that you have anything but a great time with what company you get with him...

Answer 8

It seems like this relationship has always been pretty bad, no matter what the problem, or "always been a little rocky" as you say. He sounds like he's just not interested in a relationship. And it's possible you're just not compatible and never were.

Answer 9

I see your pains because that happens alots do you or he have weekend off so you make up for lost times if he a work alholic like you says that great because you don,t want some fat lazy beer drinking idiots hanging around the house doing nothings and you have to do everythings, thinks about it, be thankful, and send him some FLOWERS AT WORKS HIS CO WORKERS WILL SEE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM.

Answer 10

Maybe you guys need a vaction together?Some people may tend to argue and fight when they are in a lot of stress.I know that I do sometimes and all I do to fix is trying to something relaxing.It seems like you two are really in love with each other so please for heaven sack don`t break up!All you guys need is a little understanding.So this Thanksgiving take off a few more days to spens with each other and to relax.