Why do people get up in arms when someone inquires about something even slightly nontraditional or unique?

Question

I'm all for expressing individuality and I generally don't care what people think as long as they're not going out of their way to be rude and offensive, but I'm curious as to why some people get so upset about this? Do they prefer cookie cutter weddings that are identical to everyone else's or is "doing something unique" meant to be something very subtle (like wearing ivory instead of stark white for example) that wouldn't even be noticed by most? Why is individuality such a taboo thing that people feel the need to tell someone their wedding will be ruined based on the choices they make simply becasue they don't agree with them?

I'm just wondering becasue I've seen countless posts where someone asks something that is nontraditional and they get chewed up one side and down the other by 9/10 of the replies.

Answer 1

because everyone thinks their own way of doing things is the best way, and anything else is just not good. It is a little sad because the truth is that the bride's who are willing to break tradition and try something new tend to be the ones who have the most memorable weddings. Think about it - when you attend a wedding, do you remember the parts that are just like everyone else's wedding - or do you remember the parts that were really unique and special?

Answer 2

Oh the old wedding cliche's about something old, something new, something blue. etc. blah blah blah, its just tradition, and for most people they can' t handle that tradition being broken. The stupid thing is that most people worry more about making the wedding perfect than they do the marriage. So they make this perfect wedding, spending thousands and thousands of dollars on it, then they go broke, and they divorce a couple of years down the road anyways, so they could have just used that money on a new car or something, or to go somewhere romantic together. I personally don' t care for the boring traditional style, I'd rather go off to Vegas and elope and have the time of my life than spend months and months preparing and making everything "perfect" put they don't realize there is no such thing as perfect, only what you and your soon to be husband is satisfied with. Then the mother in law and your own mother gets into a huge fight because they ordered the wrong groom figurine on top of the cake, and end up fist-fighting about it and smashing the cake to smithereens! Yeah it's best to just go the way you want it and say to hell with everyone else.

Answer 3

Sometimes, the nontraditional choices are not suitable for the place where the wedding is being held. For instance, if you have a wedding mass, then the choices have to be suitable for that religious ceremony. You are asking for the blessing of the church, and it has to be done within the confines of what is acceptable to that faith.

If you are having a wedding in a park or a back yard, or a country club, then really nobody should object to some very unique choices. As long as you are showing respect for marriage, and not making a mockery of it, you should feel free to do as you please.

Remember that all mothers probably have some ideas in the back of their minds about how their daughters will be married, and that they hope the wedding will, in some way, resemble that ideal picture they have held for you since you were a very little girl. That's how you will be, too, when your future baby girl gets married. So please have a little patience for your loved ones.

If you're concerned about what people on YA think, that's kind of silly... when you ask, you will get opinions, and you can always choose to ignore them.


I♥♫→mia☼☺†

Answer 4

I always say that ettiquette and tradition exist to prevent people from having to make tough decisions. And that's just sad. But most people would rather fall back on what "everybody else does," and not dig deep enough into themselves to discover what might actually make them happy--what would express who they are. Weddings are probably the most obvious example of this.

Also, when people make nontraditional choices about weddings, some women seem to feel threatened by it and perceive it as an invalidation of their own choices. I've never figured this out--who cares what someone else does at their wedding?

My husband and I had a pretty nontraditional wedding and reception, and we got a lot of flack for it.

Answer 5

I wonder, too. Some people live and die by tradition and it will take a lot to sway their opinions on such an important thing as a wedding. But if someone wants to wear ivory, I think they should wear ivory.

Too many people these days are concerned with what others think. They don't realize that when it gets right down to it, nobody cares. Just be yourself.

Answer 6

It is a little concerning to see how many people get angry about something simple, like a colored cake instead of a white one. I can see where you're coming from, but I have to tell you that the answers here do not represent the whole. I have done more weddings where the couple decided to use apples as placecards...put out a seating chart in lieu of placecards...had a bright blue cake instead of a white one...had a solid pink dress with white accents...the list goes on and on. Couples today are making more and more moves to put their own touches on their weddings instead of going with tradition. Don't worry...

Answer 7

As woman we all have our ideas of the "perfect" wedding. I think some woman have a hard time stepping back from their views to accept another person's vision of a "perfect" wedding. Pretty much--we are all stuck in our ways.

I have done this before with a friend--I never got my dream wedding and in a sense tried to make her wedding my wedding. I had to take a moment to step back and say--this is HER time to shine and HER wedding--no matter how I felt did not matter. From then on I stopped trying to convince her to go my way.

I was never rude--I'm not on this section a lot and never have been rude but I can't see why someone would be like that. I think it's the same way--woman want everyone wedding to be "perfect"--perfect for one person is totally different for another. Hope this answers your question!

Answer 8

It's your life. Live it the way you want. The shade of white of a wedding gown is not important. There will always be some busybody who tries to run things or cause problems. Just ignore them, especially if it concerns your wedding.

Answer 9

I guess it's just a battle between traditionalists and progressives.
Personally, I'm for tradition, as not all "progress" is good.
On the other hand, if it's a wedding, and I'm not paying, have a wonderful time. Seriously.

Answer 10

Because pple are freaked out by things they don't understand!! But ivory vs. stark white. Like who gives a hairy rat's as*. Serioulsy, who cares what other pple think, if its your wedding, do what you want. Good luck.