Ok, we are both in our 30's. When we go out anywhere he always checks out other women. He makes it very obvious. He will sometimes stand there and stare at some girls (sometimes 17 or 18 years old) ***, or sometimes he even winks or wiggles his eyebrows at them. I have even seen him say hello to other women while passing. Women he doesnt even know. This has been going on for almost 2 years. He denies doing it and says I'm just jealous. I feel so stupid!!! Like we are too old for this crap. Also, sometimes he goes to the mall for no reason, I know its just to look at other women. I'm considered pretty, and I know guys are attracted to me, so whats going on? Now I'm starting to think he's capable of cheating. What do you think?
2006-11-20 15:45:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Any man that will make it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that he is visually interested in other women and then blame it on your jealousy are either 1) ignorant or 2) oblivious to your feelings. Both of which are NOT desirable traits in a partner...When you're with someone, you're with them because something about them made THEM in particular special. Not because they were like every other "mary, jane and suzy" in every corner bar. If his eyes are roving, his hands may find their way there too...If you feel like you cant trust him, the seed of distrust has already been planted. And no relationship can survive, much less flourish and grow, if there is no trust. Although men use the excuse that they're visual creatures and they're only "window shopping" and as long as "they dont touch, its ok" that is a load of sh*t to justify their shortcomings...You obviously know you're attractive. Use that to your advantage, stop wasting time with someone who has eyes for more than just you and find you a mind that will see you for who you really are and not be constantly looking over YOUR shoulder for his next piece....GOOD LUCK, they ARE out there!!!!
2006-11-20 15:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by emsmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you do have reasons to be jealous, and he does have a reason to look at other women. You've lost your trust in him, and he's stopped trying to satisfy your needs. The oogling thing may be what bothers you, but if the two of you can't solve this one thing, then there are bigger problems than that. Something needs to be done, and there are really only four ways this can go down:
1: You continue to maintain it is a problem, he continues to deny it is a problem. First Trust and respect dissapear from the relationship, then Loyalty and Faithfulness go. Finally the relationship ends in bitterness.
2: You continue to maintain it is a problem, he attempts to change his behavior to suit you. You feel the problem is resolved, and go on to see about changing some other behavior of his that bothers you. He continues to try to stop his natural bent towards oogling, and feels that you owe it to him to give something up for his sake.
3: He continues to maintain it is not a problem, and you attempt to get over the fact that your man is staring, oogling, and possibly even flirting, or having affairs with other women. he feels that the problem is solved, and tries to get you to ignore other small flaws in his character. You continue to try and ignore his behavior, and feel that he owes you something for letting him get away with it.
4: You both maintain that there are problems with the relationship, but that these problems can be solved through mutual give and take, mutual compromise, and constant communication. The relationship involves a lot of work, and a lot of frustration, but the love you share makes all the effort worth it.
2006-11-20 16:05:31 · answer #2 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel stupid. You sound very reasonable, actually. And although I don't know the specific details of your situation, it seems that you've approached him on this subject and he chose to flat-out deny it.
My suggestion is to have a serious talk about it. Instead of accusing him, however, ask him to be honest with you and open up to you. A lot of men check out other women even in the presence of their partners, but few will be so blatant or inconsiderate.
If he continues to deny it and it bothers you, there is no other solution but to part ways. It sounds scary and final, but really, you don't want to be with someone who not only treats you in a way that reduces you to thinking less of yourself, but someone who also denies doing so.
I think a lot of other answers will say the same. Good luck!
2006-11-20 16:25:52 · answer #3 · answered by calamityjanedoe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Heaven forbid he says hello to people...heck, I say hello to women and men I don't know..it's called being polite and friendly...doesn't mean I wanna bang em! As for staring...maybe they have some wart on their nose..as for wiggling eyebrows..could be a nervous twitch...
Honestly, nothing he's done suggests a cheating behavior...at least that you have mentioned...other than going off alone...but if yer sure he's at the mall..then no worries there.
Im not saying he's NOT capable of cheating, I think most people are...they just know it's wrong and exhibit a little something called "Self Control"....I am saying, that from what you have mentioned..I don't see any signs of a sexual affair.
2006-11-20 15:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by Shaide 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
surely, i think of between the people above suggested it maximum suitable: confident, properly-adjusted people are not usually jealous of any entire class of people. i ought to start coming up with a stereotypical (or maybe organic and organic) checklist of ways females have it greater valuable than men or how men have it greater valuable than females, besides the undeniable fact that it may ring hollow with me, as i'm surely not saved up at night by utilising any of the failings that comprise occurring to be the gender that i'm. historic previous and economics have taught us properly that once people start up watching the international as us-as against-them (be it boys v. females, white people v. different races, jews v. gentiles, etc.), it has a tendency to be simply by fact they at the instant are not confident or happy with the way their lives are going (the German financial crash that made the upward push of the Nazis conceivable, the large melancholy getting people in charge alcohol, impoverished lifestyle generally...). in case you finally end up heavily jealous of guys, or females, or jews, or white people, or the different entire classification of folk, i could say that the 1st ingredient you ought to do is difficulty approximately your individual happiness, and you will discover that your obsession with others will start to look petty and pointless to you.
2016-10-22 11:20:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a slime ball. If you are pretty and other guys are attracted to you, dump his *** and get with one of them. Life is too short!
2006-11-20 15:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by A.W. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sure it makes you feel ugly or something for sure. all men are such idiots sometime. sounds like he just wants attention or something. like hes the one that insecure. how have you been able to put up with it for two years? if you can handle it for that long, just continue to handle it. or move on
2006-11-20 15:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda3826 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any guy that makes you question things is a jerk. Seems like he's capable of anything.
2006-11-20 15:49:40 · answer #8 · answered by trinity2379 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an idiot. He likes it when you get jealous so don't bother, he's not worth it. Its much worse that he's showing you such disrespect. You can do better, and deserve much better!!!!!
2006-11-20 15:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by alwayslarat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT REALLY SOUND LIKE HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU.
AND HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. HE TOO OLD FOR THAT
NONSENSE. AND I WOULD TELL HIM THAT YOU DONT
APPRECIATE THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR FROM HIM AND IT
NOT ABOUT BE JEALOUS, IT ABOUT RESPECT.
2006-11-20 15:51:30 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋